"You are also right about making the commitment to do something and then doing it.  The fear does take a backseat.  In your video you state that sometimes we just say to ourselves that I am going to get on this plane no matter what, no matter if I live or die.  That helped me a lot.  It helped me because one does get to a point where the fear is just ridiculous and you feel that I cannot take the fear anymore.  So, screw it, I am going to do this no matter what."

To readers who might have missed this point, commitment to a course of action (or inaction) is the key to regulating anxiety. The amygdala is supposed to produce stress hormones any time it notes something non-routine. The hormones activate your high level thinking which is supposed to come up with a plan of action (or inaction). It is at the point of commitment to the plan that the amygdala is signaled to stop stress hormone release. 

The reader also says, "I used to daydream a lot.  And I mean, a lot.  It was my way of getting away from where I was.  It gave me a sense of relief." But notice that if, as a child, we must daydream to get relief, there HAS to be something we need relief from. And yes, it sounds like a good idea. But getting a Ph.D. in imagination only sets us up for anxiety when we have to deal with the real world. Instead of living in the moment - which we are frightened to do - we try to live in the NEXT moment. To spend ones life in the next moment is a way to trying to avoid anxiety. That may work if the flight is smooth. But if there is turbulence, we suddenly remember we are in a real airplane. Then, our imagination - the imagination we so carefully controlled - can't be controlled any more. If we could move into reality, we would be better off. But we don't. We are so used to imagination that we can't get out, and then - when there is turbulence - we imagine terror. Then, we lose track that the terror is just imagination. That is what fear of flying is all about. Imagination. 

• imagination about what will happen on your flight


• imagination about what is about to happen during your flight


• imagination about what you will feel


• imagination about not being able to handle it

========== 

"Underwear Bomber" Looked For The Cheapest Fare

According to an Associated Press story when the failed "underwear bomber" planned his Christmas 2009 attempt to bomb an airliner he was flying on, he decided against Houston or Chicago and choose Detroit because the fare was lower. 

========== 

Fake Pilots On Indian Airlines

Earlier
this month  authorities arrested a 38-year-old, flying as a captain for the low-cost carrier IndiGo, for not having a valid pilot's license. Spicejet, which twice before suspended a pilot for using false documents to obtain a pilots license, suspended another pilot last week. Two pilots at Air India have also been suspended. Story at this link.

========== 

Applying SOAR To Claustrophobia

Just had to tell you another success story!  My claustrophobia has thru the years, spilled into all kinds of areas of my life....My husband recently purchased concert tickets for my birthday, the venue was at Mohegan Sun.  The last time I was there which was about 4 yrs ago, I had a total meltdown....very dark, exits far away, crowded etc, etc...I found myself sitting in the lobby the whole day, never being able to venture into the stores, casino or restaurants....I did make several attempts but to no avail....So needless to say, when he told me about the concert, I was in panic mode, I kept thinking about how I was going to get thru this.  Well about 3 days before the concert, I thought about my strengthening exercises and decided I would give them a try. (I often forget I can use them for other things, not just flying).  

Since I had been to the casino a couple of times before, I knew most of the layout...so I used my "moment" and placed one of the spots in the casino next to it, exactly like I would do for the flight....walking into the casino, walking toward and thru the shopping area, going up the escalator to the restaurants....honestly, I only did it 6-8 times, hoping that would be enough....and that did the trick!

I am SO happy to tell you that not only did I go to the concert, but I spent the entire day walking thru all of the shops, restaurants and casinos!  I had a wonderful day and NEVER experienced any panic AT ALL!!!  

You have truly helped me change my life, one experience at a time and I am forever grateful!!!

==========

Applying SOAR To Needle Anxiety

I wanted to contact you to thank you for the useful advice you share with us over the newsletters. My two phobias (planes and needles), often cause great anxiety in my life, and in the latter case, even kept me from getting much needed blood tests.

I have left the Dr's office several times either unable to complete the blood work, or refusing to even attempt it.

This Friday, more than 10 months overdue for my thyroid test and 2 years for a physical, I remembered your newsletter about commitment. I made sure I was committed the whole way through, even paying attention to my body language : not sitting down in the waiting room as to keep my body in "active" mode, telling myself that this is my choice, etc. In the lab, I sat down, rolled up my sleeve and said to the technician "let's do this".  The whole procedure took less than 10 seconds - I did not cry, bargain, plead, or flee! Pretty impressive considering I had cried twice during the past week claiming " I cannot do this".

You advice is always useful when flying, and apparently, in other areas of life too!

==========

SOAR Will Work For You Too

Even if you are doubtful, SOAR nevertheless works. This is because we, with the help of brain scan research that showed us how the mind works, broke the code on flight anxiety, claustrophobia, and panic.

SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.

• Call me at 877 332-7359 between 10 AM and 6 PM Eastern time or
  


• Set up a time online at http://soar.genbook.com
  


• No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.

Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With

You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.

Full Length Course

• The full length SOAR Video Course on 11 DVDs provides the maximum help possible.
  


• More info.
  

Accelerated Courses

Flying tomorrow or the day after? Be ready to fly in 90 minutes with Rapid Relief.

Flying in three to ten days? Get comprehensive help with SOAR Complete Relief.

• Accelerated courses give you the most help possible in the time you have available.
  


• A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
  


• What you pay is 100% transferable to the SOAR Video Course 11 DVDs.
  

Everything to you need is just a click away. Start viewing on your computer two minutes from now.

==========

Unsure Which To Choose

If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act. Or set up an appointment for us to talk by clicking this link.

We are always here to help. Every course includes at least one counseling session. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.

==========

Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359

Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)

You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.

• find out how I can help you with flying
  


• discuss the possibility of a counseling session
  


• set up a time that fits your schedule

Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803

• a twenty-minute session is $60.00 if not enrolled in a course.
  


• one twenty-minute session is free if enrolled in any course.
  


• additional twenty-minute sessions are $60.00.
  


• two one-hour sessions are included in the SOAR Guaranteed Program

Schedule An Individual Session Online

Note: Times Listed Are Eastern Time (same as New York)

As
an airline passenger, when stress hormones alert you, your executive function
needs to assess the situation. Good executive function recognizes the flight
controls are in an experienced expert's hands who does not wait for stress
hormones, but keeps executive function activated to foresee what action is
needed and commit to action as needed. The commitment you need to make in
response to stress hormones is to simply sit and experience the flight just as
it is.

==========  

Discarding Diamonds 

A story came to mind this week, perhaps due to the military action in Libya. When I was in the Air Force in Germany in the 1960s, Adolf Galland, the general in charge of fighter operations for Germany during WW II, spoke at a formal dinner at our air base.

During the war, Goring presented Galland with the Iron Cross, one of Germany's highest military honors. A few months later, Goring gave Galland a second Iron Cross, explaining that the first one, because there was a shortage, contained rhinestones rather than diamonds.

Galland said that a few months later, he was called to appear before Hitler. Hitler told Galland to give him the Iron Cross he was wearing. Galland gave it to him. Hitler threw it into a waste basket and said, "When Goring gave you that Iron Cross, there was a shortage of diamonds so it  has merely rhinestones. Here is one with real diamonds."

Galland accepted the replacement and said nothing about the diamond-filled Iron Cross in the waste basket that was going to be thrown away. He said, "You didn't tell Hitler he was wrong!"

==========

Unusual Airports

Probably not any place you are going to be landing - other than perhaps St. Maarten - but you may find this group of airports interesting.

==========

Scanner Risks?

The April issue of Radiology has two articles that address radiation from the new scanners that use backscatter X-ray systems.  Both articles say the risk is minimal. But if you fly a lot, read the article at this link.

========== 

Getting The Most Out Of Therapy

Here is a great article.

• learn the differences in forms of therapy


• ask professional you respect for a referral


• get an experienced expert


• be open to change


• limit the process


• make therapy part of your life


• be brutally honest


• you will feel worse before you feel better


• talk with the therapists about the challenge of therapy

========== 

"Did It Really 'Take'?" 

Even after taking a flight and being amazed at the difference, it can be hard to really believe that flying will continue to be good. It can take a while until the realization settles in. The following email explains. 

I have been meaning to send you an email to let you know what your program has done for me, but I've been so busy!  I'm now taking the time to do so.  This trip to Cozumel is actually my SECOND vacation since taking your course.  

As many of your students, I was skeptical that this would work for me.  I was flying before, but was getting more scared every time I flew.  I tried a mixture of sleep deprivation, alcohol and sedatives on the last flight I took, but it didn't work.  I decided to stop flying altogether.  We had an opportunity to take a dream vacation at the end of last year, but I didn't want to fly.  My husband put his foot down.  I told him I would look into getting help.  I found you online, and thought, "It's a guaranteed program.  Worst case, it doesn't work, and I get my money back."  

We booked the vacation, which included a Delta connecting flight from OKC to Memphis on a small jet (not sure which kind), and then from Memphis to Ft. Lauderdale.  I committed to taking these four flights, which was a big step for me to begin with.  I was a little nervous getting on the first flight, but I didn't panic as usual.  It felt good to not be in panic mode at the airport!  I met the pilots, who were both WONDERFUL!  One of them said that he had a respect for people with a fear of flying.  He asked if I were a control freak.  Hmm, he had my number!!  

I wasn't nervous during take-off, but I knew the real test would be the turbulence.  Once we were at cruising altitute, and the turbulence hit, it was like a light switch came on automatically, and JELLO came to mind.  After I realized that several minutes had passed, and I wasn't freaking out, I smiled so big!  You couldn't have wiped that smile off my face for ANYTHING!  

We landed in Memphis, and I was so proud of myself!  I don't think I have ever been so proud of an accomplishment, and I have several that I am very proud of.  On the flight from Memphis to Ft. Lauderdale, I actually got out of my seat to go to the bathroom!  Normally, I would be planted in my seat, not wanting to move a millimeter.  Somebody was in the bathroom a long time (a passenger told me the person was afraid of flying), and I gave up after standing there for a while, and went back to my seat.  

I had the most wonderful vacation, and didn't stress about the flights home.  I was a little more nervous flying home, and had to do the 5-4-3-2-1 exercises a couple of times.  Still, the anxiety was much more manageable than before.  On the last flight, Memphis to OKC, I started talking to a flight attendant on the descent.  She was shocked to hear that I had been a nervous flyer!  She asked me the name of the program so that she could refer people to it.  

Six months later, I'm going on vacation again!  I can't help but think--did it really "take"?  So I plan to re-watch the DVD's and work on the strengthening exercises again so that I won't be anxious about this vacation.  I was nervous about the prop plane I mentioned in my last email, just because it seems that they are always the ones to go down.  My husband did some research online about the plane, since he knew I would object when I found out it was a prop plane!  He said it was only about 10-12 years old, and that it was supposed to be technologically comparable to a small jet.  I told him not to book until I talked to you!  If you feel that it is a safe plane, then I am comforted by that. 

I am so thankful for your program.  I'm thankful that my fears were ADDRESSED, and not just masked or unsuccessfully treated. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

Sincerely,

==========

SOAR Will Work For You Too

Even if you are doubtful, SOAR nevertheless works. This is because we, with the help of brain scan research that showed us how the mind works, broke the code on flight anxiety, claustrophobia, and panic.

SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.

• Call me at 877 332-7359 between 10 AM and 6 PM Eastern time or
  


• Set up a time online at http://soar.genbook.com
  


• No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.

Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With

You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.

Full Length Course

• The full length SOAR Video Course on 11 DVDs provides the maximum help possible.
  


• More info.
  

Accelerated Courses

Flying tomorrow or the day after? Be ready to fly in 90 minutes with Rapid Relief.

Flying in three to ten days? Get comprehensive help with SOAR Complete Relief.

• Accelerated courses give you the most help possible in the time you have available.
  


• A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
  


• What you pay is 100% transferable to the SOAR Video Course 11 DVDs.
  

Everything to you need is just a click away. Start viewing on your computer two minutes from now.

==========

Unsure Which To Choose

If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act. Or set up an appointment for us to talk by clicking this link.

We are always here to help. Every course includes at least one counseling session. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.

==========

Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359

Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)

You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.

• find out how I can help you with flying
  


• discuss the possibility of a counseling session
  


• set up a time that fits your schedule

Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803

• a twenty-minute session is $60.00 if not enrolled in a course.
  


• one twenty-minute session is free if enrolled in any course.
  


• additional twenty-minute sessions are $60.00.
  


• two one-hour sessions are included in the SOAR Guaranteed Program

Schedule An Individual Session Online

Note: Times Listed Are Eastern Time (same as New York)

Worry As Prerequisite To Flight  

Nervous as you approach a flight? Part of your mind is doing exactly what it is supposed to do. Which part is that? The amygdala. When encountering a "non-routine situation" the amygdala releases stress hormones to force your high level thinking to pay attention. So far so good.

Well, then, what is going wrong? What part of the brain is not doing its job? Executive function. When stress hormones force your executive function to look at a non-routine situation, its job is to make an assessment, form a plan of action if needed, and commit to action (or inaction).

First, assessment: is the non-routine situation (a) an opportunity, (b) of no consequence, or (c) a threat. 

(a) An opportunity. The non-routine situation is causing stress hormones to be released by the WalMart ad for a $39.95 widget for only $17.88 TODAY ONLY.  But your executive function says, "My garage is full of those damn things." Exciting as a bargain is, your executive function takes a pass. Or, if your executive function isn't working well, you go buy another one just because it is a bargain.

(b) Of no consequence. Executive function makes an assessment that the non-routine situation is neither an opportunity nor a threat. You make the decision that no action is needed. That signals the amygdala to "chill out". The amygdala stops releasing stress hormones.

(c) A threat. Your executive function sees the non-routine situation is a threat. Executive function comes up with a plan of action. As soon as you commit to the plan, again a signal goes to the amygdala that you are on the case and stress hormones are no longer needed.

Where do we go wrong?

1. Not assessing. If a person thinks stress hormones mean danger, executive function makes no assessment of the situation. The person lets the most primitive part of the brain - the amygdala - rule. It is really - sorry to say it but true - stupid to let the most primitive part of the brain rule and let all the intelligence in the cortex go to waste. The amygdala doesn't know danger. It only knows routine and non-routine. Bad idea. You are letting the most primitive part of the brain rule. 

2. Not deciding. To decide, executive function needs to use the right brain's big picture. The big pictures is that planes almost always get there safely. The big picture says planes crash somewhere around one in 14,000,000 to 23,000,000 flights. MIT Professor Barnett points out that a child born today has a better chance during its lifetime of becoming president than of being in an airline accident. 

3. Not committing. Executive function can't commit it if gets caught up in the left brain's little picture. The little picture is the image of the one in several millions that didn't arrive safely. It makes more sense to fret about becoming president than crashing. Put another way, your focus today should be more on what to wear at the Inaugural Ball than about whether to fly or not.

Commitment is needed to stop the release of stress hormones, and let you get on with life. Though a physical crash is unlikely, an emotional crash is almost certain unless you commit. With no commitment, no signal goes to the amygdala to stop releasing stress hormones. with no commitment, stress hormones build up. That could mean panic.

Even You Can't Assess, Decide, And Commit . . . 

The strengthening exercise can keep stress hormones from being released in the first place. No stress hormones, no problem. If anything gets by the strengthening exercise, there is the 5-4-3-2-1. 

But the strengthening exercise works only DURING the flight as new non-routine situations arise. It doesn't help with anticipatory anxiety when you are already stuck with a non-routine problem (taking a flight) and can't process that issue by assessment, decision, and commitment.

The 5-4-3-2-1 can give you a break. The accumulated stress hormones can be gotten rid of by the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise. It takes some work. It only temporarily relieves the stress, but it does clear the mind. Maybe enough to let you get a fresh go at assessment, decision, and commitment. 

Why don't we use the 5-4-3-2-1 to take a break? Could it be because worry keeps us safe? In college, certain courses are prerequisite to taking other courses. Could worry be a prerequisite to taking a flight? If being foolhardy enough to feel confident tempts fate to do a number on us, maybe worry appeases fate and keeps us safe. If we don't worry, will that cause bad things to happen? 

All we need to do is relax and all hell will break loose. Right? So here we are. Trying to control destiny by distress. 

Simple.

==========

Kids - Especially Boys - Need Help With Emotions

Research at the University of Illinois shows parental response to a two-year-old's negative emotions can lead the child to develop a problem with anxiety.

Researcher Jennifer Engle says, "We investigated two types of parental reactions to children's negative
emotions. One type of reaction was to minimize their child's emotions;
for example, a parent might say, 'Stop behaving like a baby'." 

Another
type of reaction was punishing the child for these emotions by sending the child to his room for crying or being upset, or taking away
a toy or a privilege. 

Though the first method was damaging, the second method was significantly worse. Parents who punished their kids for negative emotions were more likely to have
children who were anxious and withdrawn, especially boys.

 "When parents punish their toddlers for becoming angry or scared,
children learn to hide their emotions instead of showing them. These
children may become increasingly anxious when they have these feelings
because they know they'll face negative consequences."

Better than belittling or punishing is talking it through. "When children are upset, it's better if you can talk with them and help
them work through their emotions rather than sending them to their room
to work through their feelings on their own. Young children, especially
little boys who are prone to feeling negative emotions intensely, need
your comfort and support when their emotions threaten to overwhelm
them," Engle said.  

See article at this link. 

==========

Temperament Plays A Role Too

Dr. Jerome Kagan has done years of study of the temperament of children. He says, "Some children -- say about 20% -- are going to be shy and timid at 4
months of age. If you move an infant mobile in front of them, they get
very aroused, start to flail their arms and legs, arch their back, and
begin to cry. We call those infants high reactive.

"But about twice as many -- 40% -- are exactly the opposite. They lie
there, they never move, rarely arch their back, and never cry. They are
called low reactive."

Kagan found that over time, most of the high-reactive children lost
their tendency to show their overt behavior, but they were always
quieter and more subdued than their low-reactive counterparts. "The low reactives are sociable, bold, outgoing extroverts, the Jay
Lenos and Bill Clintons. But the high reactives continue to feel tense
inside, even though they can hide it," Dr. Kagan explained.

When high-reactive children reach their midteens they have more
unrealistic fears. "For example, some are afraid to get on a subway. Some are afraid to
take a class trip to Washington because they have never been to
Washington. Some worry that their parents are going to die in an
automobile crash . . . . So they are
retaining, in their internal feelings, the temperament they displayed
when they were 4 months old." 

"We are only studying 2 temperaments," Dr. Kagan pointed out. "The next step will be to try
to discover -- and no one has a clue -- what are the genes that produce
this state of the brain." 

See story at this link.

==========

Left Brain Versus Whole Brain

After passing on information from McGilchrist's book about the effect brain function has on thinking, a few emails received still pointed out the wisdom (left brain "stick" approach) that education can be improved by firing bad teachers, or that if pilots don't want to work for peanuts, they should find another line of work. And that is exactly what talented people do. The best talent goes to jobs with high pay. My concern is that as airlines try to squeeze more out of pilots for less pay, talented pilots will look for work as entrepreneurs. In the long term, talent may migrate elsewhere and the airlines would be manned by pilots like the one in the Buffalo crash who in his mid-thirties, was still working as a stock clerk in a Publix supermarket.

Yes, money can be saved in the short term by squeezing more out of people who are already in the profession, whether they be teachers or pilots. But the long term, talent migrates elsewhere. When schools and airlines can't attract talent, they get saddled with bad teachers and bad pilots, and the need to somehow weed them out. The full brain can hold the big picture, not just the short term view, and offer more carrots than sticks. If education and air travel are important, the answer is to pay teachers and pilots more to start with.

==========

And The What Planet Are You From Award Goes To .

CNN has called it the "prayer scare". On a flight from Mexico City to Los Angeles, Alaska Airlines flight attendants freaked out when they saw men performing a prayer ritual. The flight attendants regarded what they saw as "suspicious behavior", locked down the cockpit, and triggered a security alert. When the plane landed, it was met with fire trucks, police, TSA personnel, FBI and customs agents. The men were escorted off the plane and questioned. After they were released, an Alaska Airlines spokeswoman said, "We've since learned from law enforcement that the passengers onboard were practicing a traditional Orthodox Jew ritual called Tefillin."

The ritual involves strapping leather ribbons and small wooden boxes containing verses of the Torah  to the body while saying morning prayers. Read the story at this link. The airline has said it will incorporate Orthodox Jewish practices into its diversity training.

==========

New On The Message Board

On Thursday, March 3, I took my first flight in 11 years from
Kansas City to New York city.  I am practically speechless about how
great it was.  I have only flown one other time without sheer panic and
terror and that was when I used the course Capt. Tom offered in the year
2000 (last time I flew) but only had it for a few days before I had to
fly.  I got the new and improved course on DVD a little over a month
before my flight and began watching it and practicing the strengthening
exercises.

Wow!  I just can't believe the difference.  The only time I
had any anxiety during my flight was waiting for take off but even that
wasn't at an uncomfortable level.  It was more like the anticipation
someone gets when they are about to run a race or something.  The
flight crew on the flight was just spectacular.  The flight attendants
presented me with wings to pin on my shirt when I was done!  The pilots
were so kind and excited for me when the flight was over.  Thank you
Capt. Tom and Lisa and Capt. Steve!  I couldn't have done it without you
and now I am ready for my next flight!

Posted at this link.

==========

Peace Of Mind

Thank you, thank you, thank you!  I just flew round trip from Salt Lake to JFK to see my grandson Harley be baptized!  I never ever thought I could  say this but my trips out and back were practically anxiety free!  It's a miracle.  Even with an hour mechanical delay in New York and a bumpy trip back home I was able to stay calm.  I met the pilots both ways.  They were very nice and answered all my questions.

I practiced the strengthening exercise 7 times before the trip.  Everytime I had an unnerving thought, it just vanished and there was no anxiety attached to it.  I can't thank you enough for talking to me on the phone and sending me all the material I needed to make this trip happen.  I am so grateful to know that I can fly now and not be terrified and shaking across the country.

I have been so unhappy thinking and worrying that someone in my family will need me and that I wouldn't be able to be there because of my fears.  Now I have peace of mind.  Thank you for your program and for caring so much.

==========

SOAR Will Work For You Too

Even if you are doubtful, SOAR nevertheless works. This is because we, with the help of brain scan research that showed us how the mind works, broke the code on flight anxiety, claustrophobia, and panic.

SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.

• Call me at 877 332-7359 between 10 AM and 6 PM Eastern time or
  


• Set up a time online at http://soar.genbook.com
  


• No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.

Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With

You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.

Full Length Course

• The full length SOAR Video Course on 11 DVDs provides the maximum help possible.
  


• More info.
  

Accelerated Courses

Flying tomorrow or the day after? Be ready to fly in 90 minutes with Rapid Relief.

Flying in three to ten days? Get comprehensive help with SOAR Complete Relief.

• Accelerated courses give you the most help possible in the time you have available.
  


• A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
  


• What you pay is 100% transferable to the SOAR Video Course 11 DVDs.
  

Everything to you need is just a click away. Start viewing on your computer two minutes from now.

==========

Unsure Which To Choose

If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act. Or set up an appointment for us to talk by clicking this link.

We are always here to help. Every course includes at least one counseling session. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.

==========

Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359

Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)

You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.

• find out how I can help you with flying
  


• discuss the possibility of a counseling session
  


• set up a time that fits your schedule

Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803

• a twenty-minute session is $60.00 if not enrolled in a course.
  


• one twenty-minute session is free if enrolled in any course.
  


• additional twenty-minute sessions are $60.00.
  


• two one-hour sessions are included in the SOAR Guaranteed Program

Schedule An Individual Session Online

Note: Times Listed Are Eastern Time (same as New York)

Follow Up On Fantasy

E-mails from readers about the use of fantasy were interesting and helpful. In general, readers believed the use of fantasy was a good idea in cases where it could counteract troublesome fantasies already fixed in place.

But one remarkable email pointed out how imagination is a two-edged sword. Imagination - itself - can traumatize a person who does not maintain the necessary mental discipline to keep reality and fantasy separate.

Most of you know the story about the attorney who had a gun put to his head. Following that incident, due to thinking "what if", he traumatized himself. Similarly, when people imagine "what it was like" for people in an airline crash or trapped in the World Trade Center, that imagination traumatizes. If you don't know the story, see the video at this link.

In his email he writes, "I would agree with you wholeheartedly that answers to our psychological problems should be based in/on reality, not fantasy. Why I say so comes from my own experience."

"About 12 yrs ago I had a flying incident in an MD80 where an engine failed on takeoff, from a piece of tyre that came off and flew into one of the two engines, taking it out. We made an emergency landing after circling for a while to get rid of excess fuel. The landing was fine, as the tyre was still inflated, as an outer layer only had come off.  My wife and 3 month old baby were on the flight too."

"That same day we flew on to our destination no problem. But about 6 months later I had a panic attack on another flight and became more and more terrified of flying, fueled mainly by the fantasy of what might have happened that day of the emergency landing."

"I was working for an airline at the time and knew all the facts, but still I became terrified. The breakthrough for me was finding your website about 6 years ago and starting the process of clawing my way back to the reality of the situation."

"1. I tried to remember how I used to feel about flying before the incident. The real feelings were excitement and enjoyment. Excitement at the prospect of the adventure of going to new places and having new experiences and just the enjoyment of flying. Remembering this connected me to good feelings that brought the anticipatory anxiety way down. The reality is that I like flying!"

"2. It dawned on me that the experience on the plane was real, not imagined, that it had happened and that is wasn't in my imagination. It connected me to the fact that my worst nightmare hadn't come true. It was a nasty experience but nothing more or less than that."

"Fantasy does need to be outgrown . . . . For me fantasy only added fuel to the fire of the unreal fear of flying. My fantasy built up this huge mountain of fear that at one moment seemed almost insurmountable . . . The fantasy built up the anxiety to level 9 before even stepping onto the plane, but with a reality check, disappeared."

The writer of that email points out that, ultimately, reality is the key. I want to add that it is reflective function - our ability to observe and critique our thinking - that allows us to distinguish reality from imagination. We need to be relentless with ourselves. We need discipline to accede to reality rather than cling tenaciously to our own favored fabrications. However well we love the reality we create inside our brains, head trips we do on ourselves will, in time, bite us back.

We can use a fantasy of salvation as an antidote to an established fantasy of disaster. But we can afford to do so only if we recognize that both fantasies, the fantasy of disaster and the fantasy of salvation, are - indeed - fantasy.

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John Cleese Airplane Sketch 

Speaking of fantasy, you'll enjoy - hopefully - this video.

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Lobbying Against Safety

When airlines do their own maintenance, all the work has to be done by licensed mechanics. Amazingly, if they hire an "aeronautical repair station" to do the work, it can be done by an unlicensed mechanic. A few weeks ago, PBS Frontline did a show called "Flying Cheaper" that exposed unsafe practices by some aeronautical repair stations that operate in the U.S.

Now the Aeronautical Repair Station Association (ARSA) is pushing back. They have started what they call "education" to correct what they call misperceptions about the work members of their association do.

Fortunately, Jerry Costello, the ranking Democrat on the House Transportation and Infrastructure Committee's aviation subcommittee has been effective in getting the Department of Transportations Inspector General to increase scrutiny of these repair stations. See article at this link

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Unions, Michael Moore, and Wisconsin

I sent out a special email a few days about about what Moore said in Wisconsin about aviation. He said it in support of those who want to maintain union bargaining rights against forces who want to kill unions. Some who have been reading this newsletter have the idea that I am pro-union. This is not correct; I am pro-safety. I see unions as a necessary evil. Unions are needed to provide a counterbalance that protects both employees and the public from the (equally evil) power concentrated in corporations, power concentrated in government, and more recently in the power of media organizations that present propaganda as news.

How does this relate to your safety when you fly? The FAA does little to protect the flying public. It's job is mainly political, to induce people to believe the government is assuring their safety. Ranging from drugs, to food, to toys, to air, to water, to investments, to airline travel, the government is protecting businesses, while at the same time claiming it is protecting safety. Obviously, the interest of business and the interest of the public are not one and the same. Often, there is a conflict between consumer profit and consumer safety. Nowhere is this more true that in aviation.

The airlines are locked in competition that puts them in a race to cut costs. The line between what is safe and what is unsafe cannot be clearly drawn. To understand this, consider driving. When the road is icy, can you say that 35 mph is safe and 36 is dangerous? No. You  err on the side of safety and drive 25 mph. For an airline captain to get you safely from point A to point B, he or she must also err on the side of safety. Doing so costs money. Airline managers sit in an office. Airline captains sit in the cockpit. When the margin between what is safe and unsafe is whittled down, the executive gets more comfortable about profits. The captain gets less comfortable about safety.

Left to management alone, airlines would sink to the level of ValuJet which cut costs to the point that it crashed into the Everglades. The government didn't stop ValuJet from cutting past the limits of safety. Wall Street was lavish in its praise of ValuJet management as they did so. Neither the market nor the government stands between you and unsafety. Just as people in North Dakota say there is nothing between them and winds from the North Pole but a strand of barbed wire fence, there is nothing between you and an unsafe airliner but a unionized captain. To the degree that you may see unions as evil, your safety depends upon a necessary evil. If you care about your safety, you need to care about the future of unions in general, for if unions are killed off, flying will become less safe.

Though FAA regulations require captains to refuse to fly a plane that he or she cannot ascertain to be airworthy, the FAA will NOT back up a pilot who is threatened, fired or "disciplined" for insisting on corrective maintenance before flying an airliner assigned to him or her.

Most of the email about Moore's comments about the plight of regional pilots response was positive. But I got several emails expressing outrage. Why is there such polarization? For years I had seen no adequate explanation of the polarization that grips our country. Now there is one, one based on solid neurological research.

Oxford scholar Iain McGilchrist has explored the differences in right brain and left brain functioning in his book, "The Master and His Emissary" (see this link). He cites extensive neurological research in which the right brain or the left brain was damaged by an accident or a stroke, and brain scan research in which either the left or the right side was temporarily anesthetized.

Even when the right hemisphere is dominant, it can nevertheless appreciate the contribution of the left hemisphere. Shockingly, the left hemisphere can't. When the left brain is momentarily - or permanent - dominant, it is unable to recognize that anything outside itself has any value whatsoever. As we shall see, this neurological finding is pivotal in understanding how polarization afflicts our culture.

Most of us use both sides of our brains simultaneously, or we switch rapidly back and forth. We, thus, balance left brain sequential thinking with right brain intuitive thinking. We balance absolute categories of the left brain with right brain emotion, empathy and the big picture.While people with right brain dominance can still appreciate other points of view, people whose left brain maintains dominance believe the constricted perspective of the left brain is the whole ball game. They truly believe their imbalanced (because it is left brain only) thinking is the only way to think.

Left brain dominance results in great difficulty when flying. Left brain thinking is limited to categories such as"safe and unsafe". From the left brain's restricted point of view, something that is not absolutely safe is unsafe.

Being locked in the left brain seriously impairs executive function. Good executive function depends on a balance that includes the right brain, because in order to operate efficiently, the brain must not lose the big picture. Executive function needs the big picture to make decisions based on what is most likely to happen. Since almost all flights arrive safely, good executive function simply dismisses thoughts of disaster and commits to taking a flight. Upon commitment, the prefrontal cortex signals the amygdala to stop producing stress hormones.

With left brain thinking, the big picture (that almost all planes arrive safely) is lost. The left brain focuses - not on the whole - but on part of the whole: a flight that crashed. This can make it impossible for the left brain to comfortably commit to flying. Without commitment, no signal is sent to the amygdala to stop stress hormone release.

When the left brain is dominant, empathy is difficult as it means allowing the right brain to play a role. If right brain operation is completely ruled out, empathy is unknown except as a concept. A person stuck in their lift brain is like a person who has Asperger's syndrome. In Asperger's, the right prefrontal cortex is impaired.

Limited right prefrontal cortex function is characteristic of autism. But most people stuck in their left hemisphere are not necessarily autistic. They may have a fully functional - but unused - right prefrontal cortex. Why? Everything new comes in through the right brain. Once it is taken in, the new information moves to the left brain. When emotional regulation has not been adequately developed, the person is too threatened by the new to let new information in. The solution is to kill two birds with one stone: by shutting down the right brain, new information is kept out and emotion is kept at a safe distance.Doing so allows the person to live "in his head", involved in imagination, fantasy, philosophical, scientific,financial and intellectual concepts.

If the situation becomes extreme, everything must be controlled. The person becomes unable to engage in anything unless it is physically or psychologically controlled. For example, sex cannot be engaged in unless controlled through fantasy, role play, pornography, depersonalization of the sexual partner into parts, or employment of a partner (prostitution). 

In time, shutting down the right brain leads not only to left brain dominance but to the development of an identity based on the left brain, with its limited functions and point of view. When ones ego becomes completely involved with left brain's view that it is not only "fair and balanced" but is the whole ball game, we can see how threatened confrontation with any broader point of view can be. It threatens the person's identity and his whole life's meaning.

But another email said, "It's been an incredibly difficult time to be a public sector employee here in Wisconsin - a teacher, no less. It's been harder than I can explain to hear what's been said in the news about myself and others like me. The TV ads are just...I really don't have words. But, it's helpful (if, again, terrifying) to read an explanation for the depth of conviction being espoused."