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It's been several weeks since my trip with my family to
California.  We're still here, and will be flying back to Santiago
(Spain) on Friday.



First, I wanted to write a note on the
anticipatory anxiety that I experienced before the flight.  It used to
be the worst part of the trip for me, I would ruminate constantly about
the flight in an seemingly endless series of "what-ifs", losing sleep
and the ability to eat for maybe a week before the flight.  This time
the AA was minimal, which I think is due in part to having had good
flight experiences since doing the SOAR course, but also because I've
really started coping with it better, not letting myself come up with
scary scenarios and instead bringing myself back to the present moment
by doing the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise, or doing mindfulness meditation
exercises in which I would concentrate on breathing and simply
"observing" thoughts.  I also kept myself physically busy, exercising
daily and cleaning the house since I was on vacation from work.  The
anticipatory anxiety peaked around 5 days before the trip and then I
seemed to be able to just accept that I was going to get on the plane
and if I got scared, I would deal with it in the moment.  Pretty huge
for me, especially on a loooong trans-Atlantic trip.



First leg,
Santiago-Madrid: I did not meet the pilots upon boarding and realize I
probably should have.  I guess my lack of AA lulled me a bit.  I had
little spikes of nervousness while we were still on the tarmac as
"what-if" thoughts popped into my mind.  Then we took off, and I could
feel myself physically relax about two minutes into the flight.  The
flight was smooth and I stayed relaxed through landing.



Second
leg, Madrid-Philadelphia.  After a four hour layover in Madrid, I was
actually eager to get on the plane to Philly.  We had a few spots of
mild-moderate turbulence, and I pictured a giant hand patting a big pile
of jello that contained our plane and... I actually fell asleep.  I
don't think I've allowed myself to be rocked to sleep by turbulence
since I was a kid.  This flight was actually the most stressful of the
three, however -- not because of the flight, but rather because of my
husband and I having to keep our four year old daughter entertained and
quiet.  Not an easy task for a nearly 8 hour flight!  I actually shed a
few tears from frustration at one point, but it was ok.  No one stared,
no one complained about our child, and I realized that it's ok to feel
things on planes, even negative feelings.  During the peak of my fear, I
just wanted to be numb.  Now I'm not numb, I'm just, well, me -- mild
frustrations and all.



Third leg, Philadelphia-Sacramento.  Our
daughter fell asleep in the boarding area in Philly and slept until we
landed in Sacto, so no stress there.  It was a pretty smooth flight, I
think -- my husband and I were both asleep for most of the way too.  I
remember thinking before boarding the flight that I just wanted to get
to Sacto, so much that I couldn't imagine being frightened about
boarding the plane.



All in all, a practically fear-free if not
stress-free trip!  I think that the trip back will be much easier: we
have better connections (no 4 hour layovers) and overall the trip will
be about 6 hours shorter.  I'll be sure to post a trip report for that
one too.







The spikes may have been because turning over control is tough. Meeting
the captain helps tremendously with that, so the spikes may have been
from not meeting the captain. Still, it would be good if you can go back
and see if you can find any of the "triggers" that provoked the spikes.
Put those triggers into the strengthening exercise.