Chat Wednesday 9 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time (new chat software)
- The chat is at: http://www.fearofflying.com/talkread/chat.shtml
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Free Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom Wednesday 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
- dial (712) 432-3900
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when asked, enter the conference ID 9352101 followed by the # sign
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Check Out Patrick's New Web Site
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Steps Forward Can Trigger Steps Backward
Dr. James Masterson worked with people whose early life experiences lacked support for the growth as individuals. He found a three-step pattern was consistently repeated in their lives: (1) self-activation leads to (2) dysphoric affect leads to (3) defense. That's psych language for the following.
1. Self-activation
When a person tries to "self-activate" (do something that is in their own best interest, and means personal growth) the result is dysphoric affect (emotional distress).
2. Dysphoric Affect
The self-activating person inevitably runs into emotional difficulty because people (even parents) in their early life experience sabotaged efforts to grow, to be an individual with their own thoughts and goals, to activate their real self (instead of being a clone of someone else).
So, when doing - as an adult - what is in ones own best interest causes feelings of abandonment, either because people in a person's actual adult life are not supportive of real individual growth, or it causes a person to recall what happened as a child when trying to grow.
3. Defense
Self-activation leads to feelings that are intense. Defense is what a person does to get rid of the feelings. Though the person can withstand the feelings, people with personality disorder easily give up their goal and in to feelings, often claiming they are unable to withstand the feelings they have, or might have if the feelings become more intense.
Dr. James Masterson worked with people whose early life experiences lacked support for the growth as individuals. He found a three-step pattern was consistently repeated in their lives: (1) self-activation leads to (2) dysphoric affect leads to (3) defense. That's psych language for the following.
1. Self-activation
When a person tries to "self-activate" (do something that is in their own best interest, and means personal growth) the result is dysphoric affect (emotional distress).
2. Dysphoric Affect
The self-activating person inevitably runs into emotional difficulty because people (even parents) in their early life experience sabotaged efforts to grow, to be an individual with their own thoughts and goals, to activate their real self (instead of being a clone of someone else).
So, when doing - as an adult - what is in ones own best interest causes feelings of abandonment, either because people in a person's actual adult life are not supportive of real individual growth, or it causes a person to recall what happened as a child when trying to grow.
3. Defense
Self-activation leads to feelings that are intense. Defense is what a person does to get rid of the feelings. Though the person can withstand the feelings, people with personality disorder easily give up their goal and in to feelings, often claiming they are unable to withstand the feelings they have, or might have if the feelings become more intense.
When taking a step forward expect an upstream battle against feelings. Dr. Masterson used to say that if you are not having feelings that make you want to stop, you obviously are not doing the right thing.
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Concerns About Pilots
An article in USA Today lays out the situation with the job of flying airplanes at this link.
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Concerns About Air Traffic Control
An article titled "Concern over growing number of aircraft near-collisions" has caused concern among anxious fliers, judging from emails received this week.
Since 1991, we have had TCAS in the cockpit, a radar device that shows us where other planes are. Pilots wanted it as a backup in case air traffic control makes a mistake. Since TCAS has been in place, we have had no mid-air collisions involving an airliner in the U.S.
It is hard to say whether air traffic control is getting better or worse or staying the same. In many cases, it is information provided by the TCAS that leads pilots to report a near miss. Without information provided by the TCAS, they would have had nothing to report as the plane reported was never seen except on the TCAS screen.
You might like to see the NTSB list of wanted improvements at www.ntsb.gov/Recs/mostwanted/aviation_issues.htm
Since 1991, we have had TCAS in the cockpit, a radar device that shows us where other planes are. Pilots wanted it as a backup in case air traffic control makes a mistake. Since TCAS has been in place, we have had no mid-air collisions involving an airliner in the U.S.
It is hard to say whether air traffic control is getting better or worse or staying the same. In many cases, it is information provided by the TCAS that leads pilots to report a near miss. Without information provided by the TCAS, they would have had nothing to report as the plane reported was never seen except on the TCAS screen.
The problem reported in the article was a near miss at an airport. When at low altitude such as landing, TCAS isn't helpful. Both the control tower and pilots have to use their eyes to maintain separation from other planes.
In the situation reported, it appears the tower made a mistake, and the pilots had to use their eyes - rather than the high tech TCAS - to maintain separation.
You might like to see the NTSB list of wanted improvements at www.ntsb.gov/Recs/mostwanted/aviation_issues.htm
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Planes, Tunnels, And Caves
Dear Capt Tom,
It has been five years, I guess, since I bought your course and put it on my iPod to prepare me for a coast-to-coast flight to attend a serious family situation in California. Since then, there have only been a few occasions on which I needed to fly and they went just as the first one did . . . without a hitch. I just plug in my iPod for a refresher and all is well. But flying wasn't my only problem. I was know to drive hundreds of miles out of my way to avoid tunnels and the idea of being in a cave under any circumstances was unthinkable. However, since flying became possible, I have taken the rail journey through the Copper Canyon in Mexico which features many, many tunnels, some as long as three miles and entirely unlighted (a clausterphobe's nightmare) without panic (I must admit to some discomfort but the techniques you taught me got me through). Recently, I actually took the elevator down 21 stories into the mountain at Blanchard Springs, Arkansas and toured the cave. This is me, who nearly went hysterical when my husband wanted me to go with him into Carlsbad Caverns some years ago.
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SOAR Will Work For You Too
Even if you are doubtful, SOAR nevertheless works. This is because we, with the help of brain scan research that showed us how the mind works, broke the code on flight anxiety, claustrophobia, and panic.
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could
help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other
program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No
matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other
program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No
matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
- Call me at 877 332-7359 between 10 AM and 6 PM Eastern time or
- Set up a time online at http://soar.genbook.com
- No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.
Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
- Accelerated courses give you the most help possible in the time you have available.
- A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
- What you pay is 100% transferable to the SOAR Video Course 11 DVDs.
Start viewing on your computer screen in two minutes.
- Get a compact version of the SOAR Course.
- Load it on your laptop, iPod or other media player. More info.
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Unsure Which To Choose
If
you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so
we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.
We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.
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Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
- find out how I can help you with flying
- discuss the possibility of a counseling session
- set up a time that fits your schedule
Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803
- a twenty-minute session is $60.00 if not enrolled in a course.
- one twenty-minute session is free if enrolled in any course.
- additional twenty-minute sessions are $60.00.
- two one-hour sessions are included in the SOAR Guaranteed Program
Schedule An Individual Session Online
Note: Times Listed Are Eastern Time (same as New York)
