Chat Wednesday 9 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time (new chat software)
- The chat is at: http://www.fearofflying.com/talkread/chat.shtml
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Free Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom Wednesday 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
- dial (712) 432-3900
-
when asked, enter the conference ID 9352101 followed by the # sign
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"What Is" Versus "What If"
Starting in 1982, we were the largest organization doing courses at airports in the U.S. In 1985, we began offering the SOAR Course on audio cassette tapes for people unable to attend an airport course. A client called yesterday who was one of the first to complete SOAR using audio cassette tapes. She told me the most important thing she learned was to focus on "what is" rather than "what if".
Millions who fly suffer great anxiety thinking "what if". Yet, only one person in several million ever suffers from "what is" due to an accident.
Fear of flying has always been a battle to stay in touch with reality. Trouble starts when what a person imagines "what if". It triggers stress hormone release. If several "what ifs" are imagined, stress hormones accumulate. Normally, what psychologists call "reflective function" - the mind's quality control capacity - monitors thought processes, looks for errors, and corrects them. But if there are too many "what ifs", the accumulation of stress hormone causes reflective function to stop operating. When it stops, the ability is lost to distinguish what is real from what is imaginary. What the person fears will happen is experienced as really happening. Terror results.
How do we help fearful fliers avoid that? We list the "what ifs" and train the mind not to release stress hormones when those come to mind during the flight.
By the way. Why did we stop doing courses at the airports? Our research showed that people who completed the SOAR Course on audio cassettes and the one-to-one counseling by phone got far better results than people who attended an airport course. There are several reasons for this:
1. Anxiety about the "graduation flight" made it difficult to focus on course information.
2. Course length did not permit enough repetition to make learning permanent.
3. On the "graduation flight" participants depended on the group and the instructor for emotional support instead of learning to rely on themselves.
2. Course length did not permit enough repetition to make learning permanent.
3. On the "graduation flight" participants depended on the group and the instructor for emotional support instead of learning to rely on themselves.
4. Attention to individual needs was limited.
In 2005, the audio course was replaced with the SOAR Video Course on DVD. This course included the newly developed methods to train the mind not to react to "what if".
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On The Message Board
The airlines have recently been getting a jump on snow-related delays - an attempt to reduce passenger complaints - by early cancellation of flights unlikely to operate, and by encouraging passengers to rebook on a different day. A story on that is at this link.
There is a thread on the message board with mixed feelings about this. When offered the opportunity, a client accepted a future flight, but felt setback. You can find the post at this link.
Here is a shortened version.
Initial Post:
Airbus 320 left JFK airport this morning ... without me on it. I thought I would feel relieved, but no. Just embarrassed. And disappointed. And now I'm staring out my window at plate-sized flakes of snow while I should be looking out my window over the wing at the turquois water of the Caribbean.
Okay, but flight is not cancelled, just postponed. Taking another crack at this in two weeks.
An Empathic Reply:
I don't post here often, but I want to empathize with you and tell you there's definitely hope!
Like you, I did refuse to board a plane once. And, like you, I was incredibly embarrassed and frustrated. I did fly after that, sometimes using the desire to avoid that embarrassment as motivation to force myself to go. But it was almost sheer terror while I was up in the air.
I decided, finally, to get help when I was faced with a 13-hour flight to China. I knew I couldn't white-knuckle it all the way there!
I won't go through my whole story here, but what I want to say to you is that my first post-SOAR flight was FILLED with anticipatory anxiety. Getting to the airport, going through security, waiting to board. I felt the same levels of anxiety I had in the past. I was frustrated, worried, concerned that this was going to be like every other flight, that what I had done to prepare was not going to work. (I should confess that I had ZERO confidence that I could be helped) I think the only reason I got on the plane was because of the very perky, convivial Continental pilot whose enthusiasm was nearly contagious.
As I walked the "gangplank" (as I like to call it) to the plane, my knees were shaking, palms sweating. I thought, "this is going to be a loooonnnnggg flight."
And then, unexpectedly, the second I got INSIDE the aircraft, I felt a calm sort of wash over me. It was at that moment I felt some hope that SOAR was going to work for me. Indeed, I made it through 13 hours relatively stress free.
And since then, things have only gotten better with each flight. I've logged some serious miles since then, too. (Tokyo, California, Brussels, Bordeaux) My last flight this summer (to Ireland) was like it was when I was a kid--full of excitement and joy to get on a plane and get to someplace new and cool! And the best part is I feel like I've spared my kids (who often travel with me) the potential burden of being fearful, too. I want them to love traveling, too!
I wouldn't say I'm 100% cured--there's still a little bit of me that jumps slightly when strong turbulence hits, but I feel truly proud of myself for even the ability to now sleep during a flight! Sometimes I even sleep through mild turbulence!
So, my message to you is, anticipatory anxiety can be very difficult to overcome and takes practice. If you get on that plane though, you just might find yourself feeling far less anxiety than BEFORE you got on the plane. At least that was my experience.
Either way, I wish you lots of luck and happiness!
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Also On The Message Board
I went through your SOAR program last June and it has changed my life. It allowed me to go on a once in a life time trip to Italy with my family. They were amazed how calm I was during the 9 hour flight over water in the dark. My fear of flying, which was extreme, has been almost erased.
The post can be found at this link.
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SOAR Will Work For You Too
Even if you are doubtful, SOAR nevertheless works. This is because we, with the help of brain scan research that showed us how the mind works, broke the code on flight anxiety, claustrophobia, and panic.
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could
help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other
program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No
matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other
program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No
matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
- Call me at 877 332-7359 between 10 AM and 6 PM Eastern time or
- Set up a time online at http://soar.genbook.com
- No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.
Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
- Accelerated courses give you the most help possible in the time you have available.
- A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
- What you pay is 100% transferable to the SOAR Video Course 11 DVDs.
Start viewing on your computer screen in two minutes.
- Get a compact version of the SOAR Course.
- Load it on your laptop, iPod or other media player. More info.
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Unsure Which To Choose
If
you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so
we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.
We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.
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Patrick's Column This Week
Patrick discusses the incident in which a kid was allowed to speak on the radio. First, was there a public safety issue? Were passengers put in any sort of jeopardy? The answer is no. Obviously the kid was being told exactly what to say, with qualified controllers right there next to him. That, however, does not make it an acceptable thing to. To read the whole story, see this link.
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Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
- find out how I can help you with flying
- discuss the possibility of a counseling session
- set up a time that fits your schedule
Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803
- a twenty-minute session is $60.00 if not enrolled in a course.
- one twenty-minute session is free if enrolled in any course.
- additional twenty-minute sessions are $60.00.
- two one-hour sessions are included in the SOAR Guaranteed Program
Schedule An Individual Session Online
Note: Times Listed Are Eastern Time (same as New York)
