Chat Wednesday 9 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
Free Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom Wednesday 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
- dial (712) 432-3900
-
when asked, enter the conference ID 9352101 followed by the # sign
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Spanking Of Children Linked To Lower IQ
See article at this link.
One of the researchers, Dr. Straus says the findings have immediate clinical implications. "You want to shift the balance away from punitive discipline, such as corporal punishment or verbal violence...toward positive discipline, such as explaining, praising, and rewarding the kid, and not just paying attention when the child is doing something wrong."
He also noted that "one of the most closely held secrets in child psychology" is that with children age 2 years or under, no form of discipline really works. "With 2-year-olds, you just have to be consistent and keep using positive discipline over and over."
My objection to spanking is that it damages the relationship between parent and child. And, since a secure trusting relationship between parent and child is essential for construction of the ability to regulate emotion, spanking puts emotional development at risk. That is not to say that other forms of discipline do not also put relationship - and the construction of emotional regulation - at risk. What forms the basis for emotional development is knowing that when upset, and the upset is expressed, another cares and responds.
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"The Program WORKS"
Captain Tom,
Well, let me tell you something you already know - the program WORKS.
Previously, the thought of light turbulence sitting at my desk would make me nauseous and sweaty in a most visceral way.
This time, I didn't have to take anything. The anticipatory anxiety was replaced by boredom in the waiting area.
My stomach was not doing flips and going into knots. My hands were not sweaty. I wasn't rehearsing for certain doom.
Having a new perspective in which to place my reality stopped creative negative thinking. I didn't go into my own movie. Having coping skills reduced the discomfort somehow. I can handle it because I'm not in danger. Having "scratched up the tape" from an old bad flight so it didn't play out in my head kept reality in focus. The Strengthening Exercise made me strong. For me, the comfort image that bubbled up as most effective for me was our cat sitting on my chest purring and licking my nose, as he does every evening.
I was able to enjoy the parts that were smooth as glass, and notice how it felt like we were hardly moving at all. I was able to enjoy the scenery and the beautiful view you can only get from up high. I found myself wondering how great it must be from the cockpit! I did not flip out during banks and spiral descents.
I'm another grateful graduate who willingly heaps a ton of thanks your way.
I did it, and I did it because of the SOAR program!
Well, let me tell you something you already know - the program WORKS.
I did Minneapolis - Amsterdam - Frankfurt and Frankfurt - London- Minneapolis 14 days later. We even had a bit of moderate turbulence on the way back from London over the ocean, and I didn't even care. That's a real switch!
Previously, the thought of light turbulence sitting at my desk would make me nauseous and sweaty in a most visceral way.
This time, I didn't have to take anything. The anticipatory anxiety was replaced by boredom in the waiting area.
My stomach was not doing flips and going into knots. My hands were not sweaty. I wasn't rehearsing for certain doom.
Having a new perspective in which to place my reality stopped creative negative thinking. I didn't go into my own movie. Having coping skills reduced the discomfort somehow. I can handle it because I'm not in danger. Having "scratched up the tape" from an old bad flight so it didn't play out in my head kept reality in focus. The Strengthening Exercise made me strong. For me, the comfort image that bubbled up as most effective for me was our cat sitting on my chest purring and licking my nose, as he does every evening.
I was able to enjoy the parts that were smooth as glass, and notice how it felt like we were hardly moving at all. I was able to enjoy the scenery and the beautiful view you can only get from up high. I found myself wondering how great it must be from the cockpit! I did not flip out during banks and spiral descents.
The worst part of the whole trip was Heathrow Terminal 5 losing one of my bags, and I'm not the first person that's happened to. If I can do an international trip, there and back again, I can see Disney with my kids, my family out of state, and anything else I need to for my career.
I'm another grateful graduate who willingly heaps a ton of thanks your way.
I did it, and I did it because of the SOAR program!
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"I've Been TRAVELING"
Hi Tom,
Just wanted to check in to let you know I am still out here and still flying, thanks to you and the SOAR program. I haven't visited the Wednesday chat recently because I've been TRAVELING -- just returned from a multi-flight trip from Harrisburg to Chicago, then to L.A., then San Francisco, then Chicago again and then back to Harrisburg. Window seat on every flight and rarely a hint of anxiety.
Anyone who knew me before I took the course in 2007 still cannot believe it. I can't believe it. Before SOAR, taking a plane trip would have been as impossible as flapping my own wings and taking off. Something has shifted in my brain. I do avoid graphic news about aviation incidents when I'm going to be flying, but even if I am exposed to it, I generally think it's sad news but it means nothing about anything that might happen on my flight.
Sometimes I feel "cured" and think I don't have to meet the pilots anymore. I think that would be a mistake, though. The experience has always been reassuring and they're always glad to oblige.
I enjoy the feature on United flights that allows passengers to listen on headphones to the pilots talking during the flight.
Sometimes when I meet the pilots they invite me into the cockpit, like they did on my Northwest flight from Chicago to Los Angeles.
Thank you again for broadening my horizons.
Just wanted to check in to let you know I am still out here and still flying, thanks to you and the SOAR program. I haven't visited the Wednesday chat recently because I've been TRAVELING -- just returned from a multi-flight trip from Harrisburg to Chicago, then to L.A., then San Francisco, then Chicago again and then back to Harrisburg. Window seat on every flight and rarely a hint of anxiety.
Anyone who knew me before I took the course in 2007 still cannot believe it. I can't believe it. Before SOAR, taking a plane trip would have been as impossible as flapping my own wings and taking off. Something has shifted in my brain. I do avoid graphic news about aviation incidents when I'm going to be flying, but even if I am exposed to it, I generally think it's sad news but it means nothing about anything that might happen on my flight.
Sometimes I feel "cured" and think I don't have to meet the pilots anymore. I think that would be a mistake, though. The experience has always been reassuring and they're always glad to oblige.
I enjoy the feature on United flights that allows passengers to listen on headphones to the pilots talking during the flight.
Sometimes when I meet the pilots they invite me into the cockpit, like they did on my Northwest flight from Chicago to Los Angeles.
Thank you again for broadening my horizons.
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SOAR Will Work For You Too
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could
help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other
program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No
matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
- Call me at 877 332-7359 between 10 AM and 6 PM Eastern time or
- Set up a time online at http://soar.genbook.com
- No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.
Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
- Accelerated courses give you the most help possible in the time you have available.
- A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
- What you pay is 100% transferable to the SOAR Video Course 11 DVDs.
Start viewing on your computer screen in two minutes.
- Get a compact version of the SOAR Course.
- Load it on your laptop, iPod or other media player. More info.
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Unsure Which To Choose
If
you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so
we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.
We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.
This year's location is le Zie, a Venetian Trattoria located in the Chelsea district of Manhattan. We have a private dining room upstairs, separate from the main part of the restaurant. A photo of the room is at this link.
The room accommodates 24 people comfortably at one large table. If attending the SOARFest is important to you, please reserve now to avoid missing out, as the space is limited.
To Sign Up For The New York SOAR-Fest
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Oh No. Just When I Thought It Was Safe To Turn On CNN
According to Patrick's column this week, Diana Fairechild, a virtually completely narcissistic nut job, is still getting media attention by claiming there isn't enough air on airplanes. I thought she had taken her last breath years ago, but no, she is still breathing fire and brimstone.
I hesitate to even mention her because I know some of you will read her stuff and email me. I'm telling you in advance. If you email me asking me to help you not be afraid of something she said, forget it. I will not reply. If you expose yourself to Diana's toxicity, you do so at your own risk.
You can read more than you want to know in Patrick's column at this link and find out why, though it may not be safe to view CNN, it is safe to inhale and exhale when flying.
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New York SOAR-Fest October 17th
This year's location is le Zie, a Venetian Trattoria located in the Chelsea district of Manhattan. We have a private dining room upstairs, separate from the main part of the restaurant. A photo of the room is at this link.
- Meet and have dinner with people who feel the same as you do about flying. You don't have to be in the SOAR program.
- Dinner is at 7:00 PM. If you can, meet us at the bar at any time between 5:30 PM and 7:00 PM.
- The price: $68.50 total per person (includes service and taxes).
The room accommodates 24 people comfortably at one large table. If attending the SOARFest is important to you, please reserve now to avoid missing out, as the space is limited.
To Sign Up For The New York SOAR-Fest
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Gadgets On The Plane
If you are wondering about an iPhone causing a problem on a flight, read this article.
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Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
- find out how I can help you with flying
- discuss the possibility of a counseling session
- set up a time that fits your schedule
Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803
- a twenty-minute session is $60.00 if not enrolled in a course.
- one twenty-minute session is free if enrolled in any course.
- additional twenty-minute sessions are $60.00.
- two one-hour sessions are included in the SOAR Guaranteed Program
Schedule An Individual Session Online
Note: Times Listed Are Eastern Time (same as New York)