Chat Wednesday 9 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
- The chat is at: http://www.fearofflying.com/talkread/chat.shtml
- If you have trouble logging in, go to https:fearofflying.com.campfirenow.com
Free Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom Wednesday 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
- dial (712) 432-3900
-
when asked, enter the conference ID 9352101 followed by the # sign
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Regulation European Style
As you know, the FAA does not inspect or supervise maintenance facilities outside the U.S. It is different in Europe. The European Union charges the European Aviation Safety Agency with responsibility to approve or disapprove maintenance facilities outside of EU.
Each time we fly, the illusion is challenged. Though we can forget about the fragility of life in our day-to-day living on the ground, we can't fool ourselves when we step onboard a plane. Oddly, we think something is wrong about the way we feel about the plane. Actually, it is the plane that gives us the correct view of life. Life is fragile. We need to recognize that and accept that.
Becker suggests that some seek to find meaning by producing something that outlasts them. But, he points out that the meaning established by one person's triumph requires another person's defeat. For example, a general's triumph in war that gives him immortality destroys the opportunity for immortality of those on the losing side. Thus, he rejects that as an answer.
What I have found is that person-to-person connection changes things. I have a client who works in a hospice. Her human-to-human contact during a person's last days makes that person's death different, and makes her life different. When there is a really good connection with another person, death becomes less important, because we are living the way we are genetically wired-up to live.
You probably also know that the EU can blacklist an airline that is substandard. Now, Antonio Tajani, EU Commissioner for Transport, is proposing a worldwide blacklist. "If we want to achieve better safety I'm convinced that we need to have a worldwide blacklist, the European blacklist works pretty well in Europe," Mr Tajani said, "Otherwise it's going to be difficult to have an adequate level of safety." See article at this link.
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Flying Keeps Getting Safer
Though things are as good as any of us would like them, flying is getting safer. A few years ago, there was one crash every million departures. I've been telling people recently that the current rate is one in five million. That was based on 2007.
The most recent stats released by the International Air Transport Association are for 2008. The figure was one crash in eight million flights.
Even so, statistics don't make fearful fliers feel better. The problem is simple: both of those ratios include "one", and that is the one that crashes.
The key to fixing fear of flying is to train the mind to not react when that thought of the "one" comes to mind, nor react when a thought of how that "one" crashes comes to mind, nor what it would feel like to be on that plane.
When the brain's response to those thoughts is controlled, it is a lot easier for the fearful flier to recognize that what is feared and what is really going on during the flight are two different things.
The key to fixing fear of flying is to train the mind to not react when that thought of the "one" comes to mind, nor react when a thought of how that "one" crashes comes to mind, nor what it would feel like to be on that plane.
When the brain's response to those thoughts is controlled, it is a lot easier for the fearful flier to recognize that what is feared and what is really going on during the flight are two different things.
To read the article click here. The article goes on to list things that involve the same risk as taking a flight of one-thousand miles.
- smoking 1.4 cigarettes
- traveling six minutes in a canoe
- living two days in New York or Boston
- living two months in Denver
- one chest x-ray
- living two months with a smoker
- eating forty tablespoons of peanut butter
The chart is at this link.
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Aviation High School
NewYork City runs an aviation high school. Principal, Eileen Taylor says, "There's approximately 12 per cent of the aviation mechanics in the United States that graduated from Aviation High School."
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A Flight Report Email
You have given me all the right tools and, as I'm sure you would have predicted, we made it safe and sound, albeit after a long, unexplained delay.
There was some turbulence and I actually laughed because as soon as the fasten seat belt sign came on, who should walk out of the cockpit and into the restroom but the pilot! Then he and the flight attendant stood around talking -- while the plane was (seemingly, though my bottle of water told me otherwise) bouncing around -- as if they were on solid ground.
Other than a brief thought that I wished he were in the cockpit in case anything really did go wrong, I actually found the whole thing pretty amusing thinking about your tapes and actually seeing first hand how you were right on about what the pilots do and think during turbulence.
Thank you for your program, your frequent updates, and your kindness and understanding. I know so many people tell you this, but let me also say again that you have made a huge difference in my life!
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Another Email
Just a few reflections I have had lately. How do you address the fact that plane crashes do happen and that every time you get on a plane there is a chance that there will be a crash? There is no denying that, right?
The point I have come to terms with is that life is filled with risk and that this risk is actually smaller than, say, getting in a car . . . .
If I am ever in a plane crash, what will I do? What should I do? Just like I think, if I ever get cancer what should I do? Accept that my life may be over and come to terms with it? I think that may be the answer.
I actually almost enjoy flying now. It is incredible. I have come to a point where I can actually reflect on the fear itself and where it comes from . . . .
I am flying again tomorrow, just a one hour flight. I have no fear at all. I always peek in at the cockpit and greet the pilots if they are there. I watch the crew do their job in a completely fearless manner. I feel more relaxed than ever. I hope it lasts. Thanks for your updates. It helps.
Tom's Thoughts On This:
There is a book by Ernest Becker titled The Denial Of Death. See this link for more information. Becker points out that we are not able to deal with living, when we don't come to terms with its limitations and its risks, i.e. that we could die at any moment and that some day we will. By denial of that, we live in illusion. When the illusion is challenged, we experience great distress.
Each time we fly, the illusion is challenged. Though we can forget about the fragility of life in our day-to-day living on the ground, we can't fool ourselves when we step onboard a plane. Oddly, we think something is wrong about the way we feel about the plane. Actually, it is the plane that gives us the correct view of life. Life is fragile. We need to recognize that and accept that.
On the ground we have the illusion that we are in control. We aren't. But with a plane, the illusion of control collapses (for the passengers, but not for the pilots). There, on a plane, we meet the truth. Life could disappear at any moment.
Can't we deal with the truth elsewhere? People say plunging from forty-thousand feet is such a horrible death. Is that period of time, knowing you are about to die, really different than the same number of seconds knowing you have a heart attack, or knowing you a bite of steak is stuck and are unable to breathe? Will you cancel your subscription to the newsletter after reading this? Is it better to just go back to the illusion? Or can we come to grips with reality?
Becker suggests that some seek to find meaning by producing something that outlasts them. But, he points out that the meaning established by one person's triumph requires another person's defeat. For example, a general's triumph in war that gives him immortality destroys the opportunity for immortality of those on the losing side. Thus, he rejects that as an answer.
What I have found is that person-to-person connection changes things. I have a client who works in a hospice. Her human-to-human contact during a person's last days makes that person's death different, and makes her life different. When there is a really good connection with another person, death becomes less important, because we are living the way we are genetically wired-up to live.
A friend who teaches tango has said, "Where else can you get someone's undivided attention for five minutes?" It's true. Tango requires that. And it is a dance that requires reading each other. But I've also thought it is sad that she basks in someone's undivided attention only during the dance.
We are creatures of relationship. It is genetic. And yet a good relationship is often hard to maintain. From where I sit as a therapist, I see relationship is hard for clients who had "insecure attachment" to the primary caregiver as a child, because that is a relationship that colors all subsequent relationships. Therapy, if one is lucky enough to find a good therapist, can shift that to allow a current relationship to have "secure attachment".
With insecure attachment, anxiety is a problem. We can't deal with uncertainty. So we control whatever we can to take the uncertainty out. And if we can't control it, we stay away from it. That limits relationship. That limits life in general. And, it makes flying difficult.
In the Strengthening Exercise, we find a moment of profound connection, empathic connection, or intimacy. In those moments, a hormone shuts down the fear system. We link that moment to each moment of flight. That shuts down the fear during flight.
If you are working with the Strengthening Exercise and have not been able to find a moment that seems to work, call and let's take a look together.
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SOAR Will Work For You Too
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
- Call me at 877 332-7359 between 10 AM and 6 PM Eastern time or
- Set up a time online at http://soar.genbook.com
- No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.
Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
- Accelerated courses give you the most help possible in the time you have available.
- A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
- What you pay is 100% transferable to the SOAR Video Course 11 DVDs.
Start viewing on your computer screen in two minutes.
- Get a compact version of the SOAR Course.
- Load it on your laptop, iPod or other media player. More info.
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Unsure Which To Choose
If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.
We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.
Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
- find out how I can help you with flying
- discuss the possibility of a counseling session
- set up a time that fits your schedule
Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803
- a twenty-minute session is $60.00 if not enrolled in a course.
- one twenty-minute session is free if enrolled in any course.
- additional twenty-minute sessions are $60.00.
- two one-hour sessions are included in the SOAR Guaranteed Program
Schedule An Individual Session Online
Note: Times Listed Are Eastern Time (same as New York)
