Chat Wednesday 9 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
Free Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom Wednesday 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
- dial (712) 432-3900
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when asked, enter the conference ID 9352101 followed by the # sign
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An Excellent Article On Parenting
Early experiences have a lot to do with anxiety and panic. The key to not passing anxiety problems on to your children is not in hiding it. See this link
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Sir Gawain And The Loathsome Lady
This week, an email came from someone I worked with many years ago. She wrote: "One of the best lessons for me, was in one of your earlier tapes when you talked about "embracing the pig," I know this is kind of odd, but this lesson has always resonated with me."
I couldn't remember the story that this client found really important. So, I emailed her back and asked. It turns out it is the story called "Sir Gawain and the Loathsome Lady".
On a journey, Sir Gawain met the most revolting woman he had ever seen. Her face had hairy moles, broken teeth, bloodshot eyes, matted greasy hair, a body disgusting beyond belief. She told Sir Gawain that she had the answer to a riddle that would save King Arthur's life, but she would disclose the answer only if Sir Gawain would marry her.
Gawain replied, "If Arthur lives, you will be my bride." The woman gave the answer, and King Arthur lived. Gawain, true to his word, married the woman. During the wedding feast, the bride belched, scratched, drooled, and cackled. Everyone pitied poor Gawain.
Going to the wedding chamber, Gawain dreaded being in the same room with, much less going to bed with this hideous woman. But as Gawain took her into his arms, he found he was holding a beautiful young woman with silky hair, lithe body and sparkling eyes.
There is more to the story, but the point was, when facing what we dread and fear most, if we truly embrace it, the act of embracing it transforms the experience.
SOAR is based, in part, on the principle that if you experience flying just as it is, without resisting it, you will do a lot better than if you try to block the experience out, or try to pretend you are elsewhere.
Enough said. Now the challenge is yours. But how did it work out for the person emailing me? She wrote, "I can't express the depth of my gratitude for your choice to help people like me. Over the years, I have listened to your first audiotapes, then the MP3s, then your course on DVD's before I flew to South Africa, Zimbabwe and Botswana.
Just recently, I revisited the DVD's before a trip to Denver, again before going to my son's graduation in San Diego, and I have just returned from a trip to Saint John's in the US Virgin Islands. I still have a kind of reactive fear, but I have tools to get myself back to the calmness of the conscious moment and address whatever situation arises.
I know everyone says this, but the terror for me was beyond description and I did everything within my power to avoid flying for years. For me the turning point came after I had children and I NEVER wanted them to grow up to be this fearful, NEVER!!!!!!!
I'm happy to report that my three children have flown around the world and we even have a world map where we have markers to all the places on this incredible planet where we have visited.
The other thing I want to say is this, the course and your help has had very deep healing effects on other areas of my life that don't even involve flying. I can't express my gratitude...thank you, thank you, thank you! I keep you in my prayers and I thank God that I found your assistance."
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This Is The Story Of A Great Achievement
Dear Capt. Tom,
Around my 30th birthday, I was under some severe stress in my personal life - job, grad school, etc. - and I started suffering from anxiety. I was to the point where I could hardly drive a car and there was no way that I was ever going to fly again. About 8 years later, I was in a situation where I was going to have to fly or admit to someone that I was scared to death and admit to that embarrassment. I found your website and subscribed to your newsletter, and then I purchased your Control of Anxiety DVD. The situation passed and I didn't have to fly, so I breathed a sigh of relief and put the DVD away without viewing it. I did however continue to read your newsletters and would jump in the chat room every once in a while.
In January, a family friend called me and offered to cover my airfare if I would travel to Paris with them and assist them as their translator/tour guide. I immediately jumped at the chance. When I hung up the telephone, I got that knot in my stomach again worrying about the flights. About 15 minutes later, I received an email from a classmate passing along the sad news of a death of another of our classmates. She dropped dead in her kitchen from complications due to a sled riding accident. She was 39 years old. After that, I was determined to get on that plane and fly to Paris.
I began to re-read the newsletters that I had saved and began to pop on and off your site again. I still had the DVD, but I was not ready to watch it yet. Soon April rolled around and I realized that it was the day before the trip and I still had not watched the DVD. I was afraid that facing my anxiety so close to the trip might upset me more, so I just decided to get on that plane armed with the information that you passed along to me over the past two years.
When we pulled into the airport, I felt the sweat begin to form in my palms just because I was at the airport. I calmed myself down with the counting exercises. Then I had to fly from Columbus to Toronto, CA, in a Bombardier Dash 8. We were delayed a bit because the weather in Toronto had become a little nasty. While I was waiting, the Buffalo incident kept popping up in my mind. I did have a very small amount of xanax in me (half a pill of the lower dose), but I controlled my anxiety and got onto that plane. I listened to the plane as it took off and took note of the sounds throughout the flight. It helped a lot and I made it to Toronto without any fear.
When it was time for the flight to Paris, they stopped us at the last minute to de-ice the plane. The "old me" would have gotten nervous as the anxiety would have built due to the delay. Again, I remained calm. When the plane took off, I again listened to the sounds and knew what each sound meant. That helped me tremendously. I was able to relax and watch the in-flight entertainment. When I got off the plane, I emailed my family and told them that I had a "great" flight.
The return flight from Paris to Toronto was fine. As we were taking off, the lady next to me had tears in her eyes. I wasn't sure if it was because she was scared or because she was sad that she was leaving Paris. Then I saw her wringing her hands and fiddling with the earphones that they passed out. I felt badly for her, but then I realized that I was the calm one sitting there reading an article in a magazine. That made me feel really good.
Now...the best part of the trip (sarcasm there) ...my flight from Toronto to Columbus on a Bombardier Dash 8 in bad turbulence. I get car sick and bus sick very easily. I make frequent trips on bumpy rural roads that make me so sick that I want to throw up. This flight was 3 times worse than any of those bus rides. I remained calm during the whole flight. I kept thinking about us being pulled through jello and kept watching the movement of the soda in my Diet Coke bottle.
I noticed that a few people were getting unnerved. I thought to myself, "Thank goodness for Captain Tom because if I would have been in this situation 10 years ago, I would have been freaking out and having a severe panic attack." On that day, I just had to worry about throwing up from the air sickness.
Thank you so much for your assistance. Now...if I can just be able to drive over bridges and drive on highways by myself, I will be totally healed. I think that I am going to break out the DVD and work on that next.
Once again, thank you for helping me be able to have another chance to enjoy Paris right before my 40th birthday. It has been a long 10 years, but I am finally allowing myself to enjoy life again.
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SOAR Will Work For You Too
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
- Call me at 877 332-7359 between 10 AM and 6 PM Eastern time or
- Set up a time online at http://soar.genbook.com
- No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.
Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
- Accelerated courses give you the most help possible in the time you have available.
- A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
- What you pay is 100% transferable to the SOAR Video Course 11 DVDs.
Start viewing on your computer screen in two minutes.
- Get a compact version of the SOAR Course.
- Load it on your laptop, iPod or other media player. More info.
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Unsure Which To Choose
If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.
We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.
Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
- find out how I can help you with flying
- discuss the possibility of a counseling session
- set up a time that fits your schedule
Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803
- a twenty-minute session is $60.00 if not enrolled in a course.
- one twenty-minute session is free if enrolled in any course.
- additional twenty-minute sessions are $60.00.
- two one-hour sessions are included in the SOAR Guaranteed Program
Schedule An Individual Session Online
Note: Times Listed Are Eastern Time (same as New York)
