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Thursday, February 26
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Thu 26 Feb 2009 01:36 PM EST
About The Crash In Amsterdam
I've always asked people to ignore crashes that involve flying they are unlikely to be ... more » Tuesday, February 24
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 24 Feb 2009 08:23 PM EST
Tuesday, February 17
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 17 Feb 2009 08:22 PM EST
Friday, February 13
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Fri 13 Feb 2009 12:25 PM EST
Comments As A Result Of The Buffalo Accident
There is nothing yet to suggest the cause of this accident. ... more »
Wednesday, February 11
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Wed 11 Feb 2009 11:17 AM EST
"I Don't Want To Pass It On To My Kids; I Don't Want Them To See Me Afraid."
When presented ... more »
Tuesday, February 3
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 03 Feb 2009 06:55 PM EST
Chat Wednesday 9 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
Free Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom Wednesday 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
==========
Delta Rejoins Safety Program
Delta has rejoined the Aviation Safety Action Program (ASAP) which it opted out of in 2006. The program, which has a proven safety record, gives pilots, mechanics, flight attendants and dispatchers immunity in connection with their reporting a situation that compromises safety.
The plan recognized that few individuals will make a report unless there is immunity. Immunity is needed because the party causing a safety compromise may attempt to shift blame to the person making the report, and, in complex cases, every party involved may be at fault in one way or another.
Delta sought to circumvent the immunity provision by conducting a separate investigation, which rendered the safety plan useless.
==========
Flew Better With SOAR Than With Meds
I got an email a few days ago from a client who said, lacking full confidence, he took meds prescribed by his doctor. He had a very difficult flight when it became turbulent. On the return flight, he mistakenly placed the medication in a bag he checked. He did much better on the flight without the medication, even though the turbulence was worse.
It is easier to have more confidence in something outside yourself - a medication - than confidence in what you have built inside. I think the reason for that is simple: you can see what is outside, and thus it is more real than what you have inside, which is invisible.
Research shows that meds - when given along with a placebo, and when the people didn't know which they were given - did not do as well as those given a placebo. I think it demonstrates how important it is to keep the mind as sharp as possible, so as not to let what is in the mind get easily mistaken for reality - when it is only imagination, particularly fear-driven imagination.
==========
From The President Of A Major Corporation
Hello Captain Tom!
I just wanted to let you know that, much like most of your students, I am a recovered fearful and anxious flyer. I know I told you before, but I thought that my phobia was so extreme that I would never fly. I wouldn't even talk about flying.
I took your course and after one slightly anxious flight (mainly because I didn't think the course would work) I am excited to say that I am a full fledged frequent flyer.
We recently returned from LA (from O'Hare) and now we're flying to Arizona in January, back to LA in March and then off to Hawaii in April - and I can't wait for each flight. I love it! I am actually seriously considering getting my private pilot's license.
Anyway, thank you again! I really appreciate your patience, your unique and effective program and just everything... I'm free! ==========
Success After 8 Long Years
Hi Capt. Tom, Well I have had my first flight after almost 8years. The days before our trip I reread the materials that I found helpful from the SOAR Library, and reviewed my DVD's each evening. I felt very calm the night before and slept well. That morning again I felt very calm and in control of the day ahead of me. I really didn't think I would feel so calm considering past experiences.
I kept telling myself "Experience it for what it is." "Add nothing and take nothing away."
Just before boarding we asked if there were any first class upgrades left and we lucked out with 2 available seats. Our flight out to Vegas was smooth as can be and flawless. I even managed to sleep a little. I was so happy I can't begin to tell you the freedom I felt. "Success after 8 long years".
Our flight home had a few glitches that I thought were going to get me worked up but I managed to keep composed. I was delayed 2 hours due to a closed runway in Vegas. I had pre-selected the bulkhead in July when I purchased my tickets and when we got to the gate they said that we couldn't sit there. I wasn't happy about that but still kept calm.
The flight itself was smooth going until the last 20 minutes we hit pretty rough turbulence. I could feel my heart start to beat fast but managed to get through it with slight discomfort.
Tom, the tools in this program were such a help to me and all the info that you provide are what helped me make this huge step. I will continue to follow up to enhance my skills to overcome my fear. Thank You so much for the emails and helping me to get started in the program. Sincerely, ==========
I Truly Enjoy The Flights Now!
Dear Capt Tom,
Just a huge 'thank you' for your program. After a very turbulent flight out of Denver in the late 90's, I was afraid to fly. I did go up again a few times but then 9/11 put me back another few years. I used to be a trip director and loved to travel so I committed myself to learning to be comfortable again and your program helped immensely. I have been to Dallas, Chicago and LA and Palm Springs more times than I can count and I truly enjoy the flights now! I still touch the plane to feel its strength, meet the pilot and then sit back and relax knowing I am safer than anywhere in the world. I look forward to our trip to Europe this summer! Thank you again. ==========
SOAR Will Work For You
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
Start viewing on your computer screen in two minutes.
==========
Unsure Which To Choose If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act. We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.
==========
Don't Miss Patrick's Column This Week
==========
Todd Curtis Interview On The Hudson River Landing
This is an audio recording of an interview with Dr. Todd Curtis, PhD., former Boeing engineer who studied bird strikes click here.
==========
Here Is A Great Video
It shows you all the air traffic in the world, over a twenty-four hour period.
==========
Less Stressed People Have Less Dementia
==========
Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York) You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803
Schedule An Individual Session Online
Tuesday, January 27
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 27 Jan 2009 08:45 PM EST
Tuesday, January 20
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 20 Jan 2009 09:11 PM EST
Thursday, January 15
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Thu 15 Jan 2009 09:46 PM EST
This afternoon, US Airways Flight 1549 took off from LaGuardia Airport in New York at around 3:30 PM. Thirty seconds ... more »
Tuesday, January 13
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 13 Jan 2009 09:07 PM EST
Tuesday, January 6
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 06 Jan 2009 08:19 PM EST
FAA Tries To Get Airlines Back Into Safety Program
Several airlines have opted out of a safety program ... more »
Tuesday, December 30
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 30 Dec 2008 11:07 PM EST
Chat On Holiday Mode - Wednesday 9 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
Tuesday, December 23
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 23 Dec 2008 11:20 PM EST
Chat On Holiday Mode - Wednesday 9 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
No Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom This Wednesday Due To The Holidays
==========
Some Thoughts About The Family We Are Part Of
An email received today reminded me of the funeral of Thomas Merritt, a Negro man who worked for my grandmother in her florist business. The business was run out of her house. My mother and father lived in the house, as did Thomas.
I knew my biological mother was a mass of psychological and physical
problems. But I had not known Thomas had been my primary caregiver during the first year of my life. Only a few years before his death, Thomas disclosed, "Your mother was not your mother; I was your mother." To attend Thomas's funeral, I started out very early, flying to North Carolina from New York, renting a car, and then setting out to find the church. I was at the church before anyone else arrived. A White man drove up, and came over. He said he was the minister from the White church nearby which was associated somewhat with this Black church. He did what ministers usually do. He said the proper words of condolence. As we were speaking, a Black man approached. He was the minister of this church. He reached out his hand, and grasped and held mine. He said few words. Even those, I don't recall. What I remember, though, was the feeling, the powerful presence of a real person. An hour later, the service began. In the small town where I grew up, there were only a few families: the Richardsons, the Hendersons, the Buchannans, the Whitleys, the Pearces, the Scarboroughs, the Britts, the Nowells, and a few more. It was always easy, even as a child - when seeing someone around the town - to know which family they belonged to; each family had certain facial characteristics that were easily distinguished. The church was packed, with some people standing. Hundreds were there because Thomas was a charismatic and much beloved man. I was the only White person there. As I looked around the church, I began to recognize the distinctive facial characteristics of the White families on these faces with dark skin, brown skin, and almost-white skin. I realized these members of the Black church were connected biologically to the Hendersons, the Buchannans, the Whitleys, etc., etc. These were our relatives. Though no one said so with words, their faces made it clear. These people were unacknowledged blood kin. During this holiday season, we gather in our homes with our acknowledged kin. And our unacknowledged kin meet with their acknowledged kin. Somewhere, behind all this, we need recognition that if we go back far enough we all are members of the same family. We need to recognize that the people some of our leaders want us to hate and to kill are biologically and genetically connected to us. The people we are asked to hate are our unacknowledged kin. ==========
About The Denver Accident
There is not enough information yet available to even make an educated guess as to what happened. What I believe you should consider is this: if this accident has had an impact on you, it would be good to examine the way you think about flying.
Do you try to place things in oversimplified categories such as "safe" and "unsafe"? When there are no accidents for a while, does flying starts to seem safe? Then, rudely awakened by an accident, and do you shift flying over to the "unsafe" category?
This is not a very advanced way of thinking, yet it is one many employ. What is needed is to recognize that nothing is absolutely safe; safety is relative.
The problem with this advanced thinking is it leaves you to deal with that one chance in five-million of your flight being the one that runs into disaster. Well. That is accurate thinking. How do you deal with that?
My answer is, increase your emotional strength so that that very small uncertainty does not cause undue anxiety. This is a much wiser approach than shuttling flying back and forth between "safe" and "unsafe" categories, depending upon recent history.
Psychologists call this shuttling strategy "splitting". We all use this defense, but the more mature we become psychologically, the less we use it. Until we become psychologically mature, we see other people as "good"; but the moment they disappoint us, they shuttle over to "bad", and stay there until whatever made us shift them over to "bad" wears off.
That same thing happens with flying. It would be far more mature to recognize the facts of life, and accept that flying - though remarkably safe - is not absolutely safe, and learn to accept the small risk flying (and everything else) involves.
The emotional strength needed to do this is provided by the strengthening exercise, which you learn in any of the SOAR courses.
==========
Arab Women Who Find Increased Freedom As Flight Attendants
==========
A Flight That Sparked Creativity
Dear Captain Bunn, more »
I've been meaning to send you a note for a while thanking you for your program. I went through it several years ago and it actually transformed my life in ways that I could never have anticipated. I had always been afraid of flying, so much so that I could not look out the window because it was too terrifying. But after I went through SOAR I was able to look out the window more and more. On one "red eye" flight, looking out the window re-ignited my creative impulses.
I had studied drawing and art history in school but the reality of an everyday job in the arts tamped my desire to do any of my own work. But that flight had me thinking about drawing again. For several months my mind kept going back to the flight and how interesting it is to look out an airplane window. I had a fresh view of something that so many people take for granted.
Eventually I came up with the idea of "Aerial Landscapes" and have been using Google Earth to stand in for flying when I am sorting out my compositions. I try to work on my drawings every day and it's incredibly fulfilling. So in addition to helping me deal with my phobia SOAR has returned a part of my life that I had thought was gone.
==========
"Skeptical or still afraid, I am living proof that the worst fear of flying CAN be overcome."
I just wanted to write you all a quick thank you letter. I just came back from Cairo, Egypt 8 days ago and it was wonderful!! I flew from Las Vegas to JFK and then JFK direct...and it was marvelous.
I would not have been able to do such a long flight (18 hours in the sky) had it not been for the motivation, inspiration, and kindness from you and your staff. Flying at night, day, local or international is no longer a problem and I feel so free. I have my life back.
My fear of flying was so intense that looking at planes in the sky would scare the daylights out of me, and hearing them fly was even worse. All it took was proper information and realizing that the only way to stop being scared was to face the fear. If anyone out there is skeptical or still afraid, I am living proof that the worst fear of flying CAN be overcome. Again...thank you. ==========
Call So I Can Help You Understand Why SOAR Will Work For You
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
Start viewing on your computer screen in two minutes.
==========
When Flying Was Glamorous
See: this link.
Unsure Which To Choose If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act. We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern. ==========
Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York) You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803
Schedule An Individual Session Online
Tuesday, December 16
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 16 Dec 2008 10:45 PM EST
Tuesday, December 9
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 09 Dec 2008 01:14 PM EST
Tuesday, December 2
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 02 Dec 2008 09:08 PM EST
Free Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom Wednesday 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
==========
Keeping Your Cool With Evidence Based -- Rather Than Belief Based - Reality
I've sometimes thought that what a fearful flier needs is the ability to appreciate how rare it is that something goes wrong in airline flying. It takes about five million flights to produce one serious accident. So, one approach I tried was to ask a client to imagine dividing up a highway billboard into a grid with five-million little blocks, and then to fill in just one of them with a photo of a crash. It would like like a fly speck -- virtually nothing compared with the area of the whole billboard.
It doesn't seem to work. The anxious flier can't seem to maintain the one in five million context. Instead, if it CAN happen, it WILL happen. And,the only way to be calm is to know that safety is absolute and nothing can go wrong. Otherwise, as soon as they picture the one crash in five million flights, that one takes over the whole billboard, which means it takes over their whole mind. Maybe my mistake was how l assigned the imaginary task. Perhaps I should have said, imagine dividing a billboard into five-million little blocks. Put a picture of a plane arriving safely in 4,999,999 of them and in one, put a picture of a crash. I suppose the effort of placing 4,999,999 individual photographs might get the message across. In fact, if a person had to do the actual work, maybe only a thousand or two would be enough. Some tell me that watching their flight on the tracking board helps. After they see the flight they are going to be taking get to the destination a dozen or so times, they gain some confidence. They say, "It got there every time." Still, it is interesting how a single possibility of something awful easily becomes all encompassing. I believe it goes back to parenting practices. It is easy for a child who has no concept of time to believe that the pain they feel is never going to go away. Even though the child doesn't understand the first time, or the second, or even the fiftieth, at some point it works when the child repeatedly is told, "Honey I KNOW it hurts. I KNOW. It feels AWFUL. But it is going to go AWAY. It is going to go AWAY. In just a minute you are going to feel ALL better. It's going to be ALL right. You are going to be ALL right. Here, let me hug you until you feel better. You'll see." Somehow, in time, this concept -- if the parent applies it consistently and while maintaining complete calm -- the child really gets the message: feelings don't last; feelings go away; things can be painful, but pain is temporary. A lot of us didn't get that message. When we were hurt, instead of being given empathy and reassurance, there was either under-reaction, over-reaction, or indifference. Under-reacting may have been, "Oh it doesn't hurt; don't be a baby." Over-reaction might be hysteria because the parent is unable to deal with the situation. And indifference? Amazingly, research tells us that indifference is better than hysteria. With an indifferent parent, the child has a better chance to learn to cope on its own, than to deal not only with his distress but the distress of a parent as well. A child left to its own devices learns to deal with things. But the parent who over-reacts, teaches -- by over reaction -- that everything is dangerous, too dangerous to be exposed to. If this is true, then it may explain why disaster, no matter how remote, no matter how unreasonable, no matter how little evidence there is for it, becomes the expected. There was an article recently in the New York Times dealing with how some people remain cool and calm when others would lose the ability to function. The article says researchers in emotional regulation look at the "a-b-c" sequence. "A" stands for antecedent: what happens that causes a person to lose their cool. "C" stands for the consequence: the personal result. The important factor is what happens between "a" and "c". "B", the researchers say, stands for belief. A person who has a belief that the plane is unsafe, or a person who has the belief that they may panic, will very easily jump from "a" -- anything unfamiliar -- to "c", fear for one, and panic for the other. But belief is, itself, a problem. It has been my experience that most people I work with on fear of flying were not taught as children to look for evidence; they were taught to simply to believe. Their whole world was, and often still is, a belief-based world. Evidence is not part of it. What needs to stand between "a" and "c" is not "b" for belief but "e" for evidence. In other words, the person who can maintain composure during periods of uncertainty is the person whose experience of the situation is not "belief based reality" but "evidence based reality".
That sounds easy, but it isn't. Here's the problem. What if there is, at a certain point, no evidence? Ah hah. That leaves the door open for ANY possibility. And here is where people go wrong. In the absence of evidence, and seemingly unable to tolerate a period of waiting for evidence, they begin to imagine things. Imagining good things causes good feelings. Imagining bad things triggers the release of stress hormones. If you are like most people, bad things are easier to imagine that good things. Some parents teach kids that they need to worry because optimism causes bad things to happen. I'm not an advocate of the so-called power of positive thinking. To me it is just self-deception. As I see it, the key is to develop the ability to tolerate not knowing. If you can stand not knowing, you can wait for evidence. That way, when the wheels touch down on the runway, you'll know. Until then, stick with evidence based reality, and experience your flight just as it is, without trying to pretend you are elsewhere, without trying to block out awareness of what is going on. But rather, simply experiencing the sheer nothing-happening-ness except going through the sky that flying is all about. Pilots sometimes refer to it as boring holes in the sky. That because pilots find the job boring. It is boring because it is safe, and that is the way we intend to keep it. Safe, and boring. ==========
After No Flying For 14 Years, Flew To Dad's 90th Birthday Party
Tom, I took my flight last Friday and returned Sunday. I flew from Tampa to
Boston for my Dad's 90th surprise birthday party. (He cried when he saw me.) First flight in 14 yrs after I swore I would never fly again! I've missed
weddings and funerals in the past 14 yrs since I moved from Massachusetts to St. Pete. because I wouldn't fly. My pre-flight anxiety had become bad. I had panic attacks during takeoff and landings. A couple of times I made my wife and daughter ride by car with me to make that long road trip. They hated it. I
was determined to find a way to defeat my overwhelming fear because I knew there would be a time I would have to fly ( my parents are old and my mother sickly). I purchased your DVD's over a year ago and I have been religiously reading your emails. All I can say is Thank You, Thank You, for your course. It worked! Some
anticipatory anxiety but the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise helped that. The strengthening exercise helped prepare me for the takeoff. There was even some turbulence but no problem because I knew it wasn't a danger. I didn't even meet the captain as I am a reserved person who likes to appear in control (so far from the truth!). I did see a man in a captain's uniform inside the airport so I assumed he was the captain and I was good with that. I told myself he was our captain and he looked competent! Mostly your course made me understand the roots of my fears and anxieties;
that they were my own fantasies and not real dangers. What a burden off my mind now that I feel I can fly anytime again! I feel so good that I beat this demon and my wife is so proud of me. We are planning some real family vacations that aren't limited by driving distance. Thank you again and feel free to use me as another awesome testimony that your course works. It does!! Gratefully yours
==========
Call So I Can Help You Understand Why SOAR Will Work For You
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
Start viewing on your computer screen in two minutes.
========== Unsure Which To Choose If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act. We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern. ==========
Yes, But Can I Take It Home With Me Where I Really Need It?
NASA is developing a brain-monitoring hat for airline pilots which can sense -- and warn pilots -- if they are mentally overloaded. The device measures blood flow, and the concentration of oxygen in the blood, in the brain.
NASA hasn't said how they will go about warning pilots that they are overloaded. Flashing lights and a warning voice "YOU ARE OVERSTRESSED!!!" doesn't sound promising. The writer of an article on the project suggests a mechanical arm to slap the panicking pilot on the cheeks. See this link.
Maybe someone should tell NASA that pilots are less stressed in the cockpit than anywhere else in their lives, and if they really want to help, the device should be installed -- not in the cockpit -- but at home.
==========
Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York) You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803
Schedule An Individual Session Online
Tuesday, November 18
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 18 Nov 2008 07:14 PM EST
Tuesday, November 11
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 11 Nov 2008 08:00 PM EST
Tuesday, November 4
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 04 Nov 2008 07:55 PM EST
Tuesday, October 21
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 21 Oct 2008 08:01 PM EDT
Wednesday, October 15
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Wed 15 Oct 2008 11:18 AM EDT
Wednesday, October 8
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Wed 08 Oct 2008 10:24 AM EDT
Wednesday, October 1
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Wed 01 Oct 2008 09:47 AM EDT
Friday, September 26
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Fri 26 Sep 2008 07:01 PM EDT
Go to: http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLandingSignin.jsp?Uc=oq1i44b.46hozz2z&Uy=qn9v5d&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0&UV=30175309963_125296974603&localeid=en_US
Tuesday, September 23
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 23 Sep 2008 05:30 PM EDT
Thursday, September 18
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Thu 18 Sep 2008 11:02 AM EDT
Monday, September 15
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Mon 15 Sep 2008 01:57 PM EDT
To see photos of Tina Johnston's trip to Ghan, go to:
http://www.imagitinations.com/August2008GhanTrip/Ghan0801.html Wednesday, September 10
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Wed 10 Sep 2008 02:05 PM EDT
Wednesday, September 3
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Wed 03 Sep 2008 02:03 PM EDT
Tuesday, August 26
by
Capt Tom Bunn MSW LCSW
on Tue 26 Aug 2008 07:07 PM EDT
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