Chat Wednesday 9 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
Free Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom Wednesday 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
- dial (712) 432-3900
-
when asked, enter the conference ID 9352101 followed by the # sign
==========
Is Depression Normal?
An article in Scientific American suggests that depression serves an
evolutionarily useful function. It may be nature's way of telling us we
have complex social problems that need to be dealt with. Some therapies
do find depression is necessary before clients are able to take needed
action.
evolutionarily useful function. It may be nature's way of telling us we
have complex social problems that need to be dealt with. Some therapies
do find depression is necessary before clients are able to take needed
action.
At the Masterson Institute, where I studied for years, depression was an integral part of the therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder. Until Dr. Masterson found a way to conduct therapy with Borderlines, they were considered untreatable. Masterson realized that when therapists try to help Borderlines feel better, therapy fails. Trying to make a Borderline feel better is like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
For Borderlines, relationship is not just something desired, it is an addiction. Relationship is like a drug. It helps to keep them from experiencing the intense depression that is part of Borderline pathology. If the relationship falls apart, the depression becomes felt. To mask their feelings, they turn to alcohol, drugs, sex, violence, cutting themselves or engaging in eating disorder behaviors.
Masterson's genius was to not attempt to have the Borderline client feel better. Rather, he insisted the client face two facts: 1. the alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. is not for pleasure, but to avoid feelings, and 2. this behavior is self-destructive and keeps them from reading their goals. He reminded them that no matter how sure they were that they could not handle the distress without acting out via alcohol, drugs, sex, violence, cutting, or binging/purging, that they could tolerate the feelings.
When the Borderline saw through their own self-deception, the measures became ineffective. No longer able to mask their depression through acting out, the client became profoundly depressed. And here is the reason depression was essential to the treatment: only when the client had become stuck in the depression and acting out no longer helped, the client recognized it was necessary to grapple with the problems in his or her life directly.
You can find the article at this link. If interested in Masterson's work, I recommend his book, "Search For The Real Self".
==========
The Northwest/Delta Incident
We could let ourselves off the hook saying the terrorists did not go through U.S. security. He went through Nigerian security and then security at Amsterdam. The failure was there. But if he had tried to go through U.S. security, he probably would have gotten through as the explosive was sewed into his underwear. It, apparently, was thin enough that normal security measures would not have picked it up whether U.S., Dutch, or Nigerian.
If we are going to pick up such bombs, we have no choice but to spend far more money for far better machines. But we must first have the political will to accept being stripped naked by these machines, as they are as revealing of the body as is a nude photograph. Some object to this violation of their privacy. I can understand how it must feel to be a woman in one of these machines while watching a man looking at the screen, seeing every contour of your body, and looking back and forth at you and the screen. I can also understand that others don't care as long as it is effective against terrorists. The government is going forward with the purchase of scanners which show detail. This will keep the debate active.
If we are going to pick up such bombs, we have no choice but to spend far more money for far better machines. But we must first have the political will to accept being stripped naked by these machines, as they are as revealing of the body as is a nude photograph. Some object to this violation of their privacy. I can understand how it must feel to be a woman in one of these machines while watching a man looking at the screen, seeing every contour of your body, and looking back and forth at you and the screen. I can also understand that others don't care as long as it is effective against terrorists. The government is going forward with the purchase of scanners which show detail. This will keep the debate active.
Meg Jones, a reporter for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, did a good article on security which you can find at this link It includes interviews with Todd Curtis who runs www.airsafe.com and me.
==========
What Should You Do?
When there is an anxiety issue (which is generally due to relationship during the period of time when the brain was rapidly growing and developing its "wiring"), anxiety can be controlled only if there is either:
Security (control) is not absolute. Nothing is absolute. Things are relative. What is right in one culture is wrong in another. What is good in one situation is bad in another. And safety is never absolute.
Regardless of how good governments get about security, there will always be ways to defeat security measures. That isn't going to change. The only change that matters is within yourself to deal effectively with anxiety that many kinds of risks - small, medium, or large - exist.
Understanding that intellectually is the first step. The second step is emotional control. Make a list of each concern. Apply these concerns in the Strengthening Exercise. Find a moment of empathic connection. When you do, relive it. That causes oxytocin to flow. Oxytocin shuts down the fear system. Now, all you need to do is link the concern to the empathic moment. Use a cartoon character imagining the concern is going to happen. Have the person who is empathic with you hold up the cartoon so you see it while you also see the person's face. That sets up the link. Then, when you fly, when the thought arises, you have some protection against anxiety.
Not a problem. Here's how it works. Lets say the plane needs 100 MPH of
air passing over the wing. To make sure we have plenty of airspeed, we
plane to touch the runway at 130 MPH. We always carry at least 135 MPH
when approaching the runway. But if there is a headwind, we increase
the approach speed by 50% of the value of the headwind based on the
idea that with a headwind, we are actually moving across the ground
slower, so there is no stopping problem once on the runway; thus we can
afford to add 50% just in case the headwind becomes less.
But if there are gusts, the wind is reported, for example, as 20
gusting 35. We would add 10 MPH because of the 20 MPH headwind. We
would add ALL of the gust speed, which is 15 (the difference between 20
and 35). That adds up to an extra 25 MPH. But once we add an extra 20 MPH,
we stop adding because that is plenty.
As to power to accommodate the gust, with that extra speed, we don't
need to apply power suddenly if a gust causes the wind over the wing to
be less.
When taking off, we - again - accelerate the plane well past the speed
needed to account for headwind and gusts before lifting the nose. These
corrections have been used for many years are are more than sufficient.
The exception to these corrections being adequate is when there are
thunderstorms right over the end of the runway. In such cases, we don't
takeoff or land until the storm has moved away from that position.
- absolute control
the available amount of control is in your own hands
- there is means to escape (physically or psychologically)
Security (control) is not absolute. Nothing is absolute. Things are relative. What is right in one culture is wrong in another. What is good in one situation is bad in another. And safety is never absolute.
Regardless of how good governments get about security, there will always be ways to defeat security measures. That isn't going to change. The only change that matters is within yourself to deal effectively with anxiety that many kinds of risks - small, medium, or large - exist.
Understanding that intellectually is the first step. The second step is emotional control. Make a list of each concern. Apply these concerns in the Strengthening Exercise. Find a moment of empathic connection. When you do, relive it. That causes oxytocin to flow. Oxytocin shuts down the fear system. Now, all you need to do is link the concern to the empathic moment. Use a cartoon character imagining the concern is going to happen. Have the person who is empathic with you hold up the cartoon so you see it while you also see the person's face. That sets up the link. Then, when you fly, when the thought arises, you have some protection against anxiety.
==========
A Client Asked
" .
. . today there will be blowing snow and thirty mile per hour gusts at
DIA. Can either of these issues slam the plane back onto the runway
when it is taking off? Does the plane have enough power and resilience
to accommodate gusts of wind? Thanks so much!"
. . today there will be blowing snow and thirty mile per hour gusts at
DIA. Can either of these issues slam the plane back onto the runway
when it is taking off? Does the plane have enough power and resilience
to accommodate gusts of wind? Thanks so much!"
Not a problem. Here's how it works. Lets say the plane needs 100 MPH of
air passing over the wing. To make sure we have plenty of airspeed, we
plane to touch the runway at 130 MPH. We always carry at least 135 MPH
when approaching the runway. But if there is a headwind, we increase
the approach speed by 50% of the value of the headwind based on the
idea that with a headwind, we are actually moving across the ground
slower, so there is no stopping problem once on the runway; thus we can
afford to add 50% just in case the headwind becomes less.
But if there are gusts, the wind is reported, for example, as 20
gusting 35. We would add 10 MPH because of the 20 MPH headwind. We
would add ALL of the gust speed, which is 15 (the difference between 20
and 35). That adds up to an extra 25 MPH. But once we add an extra 20 MPH,
we stop adding because that is plenty.
As to power to accommodate the gust, with that extra speed, we don't
need to apply power suddenly if a gust causes the wind over the wing to
be less.
When taking off, we - again - accelerate the plane well past the speed
needed to account for headwind and gusts before lifting the nose. These
corrections have been used for many years are are more than sufficient.
The exception to these corrections being adequate is when there are
thunderstorms right over the end of the runway. In such cases, we don't
takeoff or land until the storm has moved away from that position.
==========
"It Was Just Stress Free"
I flew to LONDON the other day - 10.5 hours, and I thought of you so much. It was a Virgin Atlantic airbus, and the longest, biggest and every other -est flight ever for me, and it would not have been possible without your intervention. It was just stress free. No medication, no mantras, just a public conveyance and me, for a long ride. We saw the sun rise over Greenland, and set just a few hours later over Iceland as we approached London from the north.
Thank you AGAIN for doing what you do, and helping people like me, and wishing you and yours a peaceful and happy holiday season!
==========
SOAR Will Work For You Too
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could
help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other
program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No
matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
- Call me at 877 332-7359 between 10 AM and 6 PM Eastern time or
- Set up a time online at http://soar.genbook.com
- No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.
Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
- Accelerated courses give you the most help possible in the time you have available.
- A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
- What you pay is 100% transferable to the SOAR Video Course 11 DVDs.
Start viewing on your computer screen in two minutes.
- Get a compact version of the SOAR Course.
- Load it on your laptop, iPod or other media player. More info.
==========
Unsure Which To Choose
If
you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so
we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.
We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.
==========
==========
Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
- find out how I can help you with flying
- discuss the possibility of a counseling session
- set up a time that fits your schedule
Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803
- a twenty-minute session is $60.00 if not enrolled in a course.
- one twenty-minute session is free if enrolled in any course.
- additional twenty-minute sessions are $60.00.
- two one-hour sessions are included in the SOAR Guaranteed Program
Schedule An Individual Session Online
Note: Times Listed Are Eastern Time (same as New York)