Chat Wednesday 9 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
Free Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom Wednesday 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
- dial (712) 432-3900
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when asked, enter the conference ID 9352101 followed by the # sign
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New Anticipatory Anxiety Exercise
Clients who have learned the Strengthening Exercise know we can control anxiety automatically during flight, and stop panic before it even has a chance to start. But anticipatory anxiety has not been something we could control automatically. The 5-4-3-2-1 can control it, but it is a lot of work.
There is an exercise I would like you to try, because I believe it has a chance of being effective against anticipatory anxiety.
It is based on what psychologists call social referencing. The classic experiment in social referencing was the "visual cliff" experiment. Children between six and twelve months of age were put on a table that had been extended by a piece of transparent Plexiglas. The children would crawl quite happily on the table, but would not venture out onto the transparent extension, even when a toy was placed at the far end.
When their mothers were brought into the experiment, and stood at the far end of the Plexiglas extension, most of the children would crawl out onto the transparent Plexiglas if their mother smiled. If the mother simulated a fearful expression, none of the children would venture out. You can read an article on social referencing at this link.
How can this connect with fear of flying? Though a family member may say things to encourage you to fly, it is not as effective in controlling anxiety as facial expression. What a face shows is more trusted emotionally, and may be able to control anxiety. Since some of you are planning a trip and are dealing with anticipatory anxiety, I would appreciate it if you would try this exercise and let me know if it is helpful.
Exercise:
Choose a person who is emotionally close to you who is comfortable with flying. Imagine you and that person are looking at each other. Since you know the person well, you can read their face. When you do, you know the feelings you see on their face are genuine.
- Reach into your pocket, and pull out a photograph. Hold it up in front of you so you can see their face as they see the front of the picture. You, of course, can only see the back of the photo, as you look to see the expression on their face. The photo is one of you seated on a plane with your tray table open. On the tray, there is something for you to eat and something to drink. As the person sees the picture of you eating on the plane, what does their face say? Does seeing you there eating a meal give them some pleasure? Hopefully, they see nothing in the photo of you on the plane that causes any concern.
- Try another picture: use a photo of you seated on the plane with the tray table closed, and with the seat belt sign on. Again, as they see the photograph, does any concern show on their face? Or, does their face show this is all right as well? If their face shows concern about your feelings, that''''s fine, but, hopefully, their face shows no concern for your safety. Knowing that they see this situation as benign can be reassuring.
- Try another picture: use a photo of you seated as the plane is taking off. Again notice their face. Hopefully their face will show they are not concerned about your situation, and, if they show any concern, it is limited to how you are feeling in that moment during takeoff. It is helpful to know they care about your feelings, and still know that everything is all right. Perhaps you can see how similar this is to the visual cliff situation, in which the mother knows - though the child may have doubts - that it is fine to do this. Knowing about safety in an emotional way makes doing something much easier.
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Finally, try a picture of you seated on the plane as the plane lands. Again, notice the other person''''''''s face, how they feel about the situation, and how they feel about your having completed the flight.
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Travel With A Pet
Todd Curtis who runs www.airsafe.com has set up a resource for people traveling by air with pets at www.airsafe.com/issues/pets.htm
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"I had not been on a plane since 1998! And now I can''''t wait to go to Europe!"
Dear Captain Tom,
I''''m happy to share with you that I made it through not one, but four flights! There were no direct flights from Oakland, California to Baltimore, Maryland so we had to make one stop over on each leg of the trip, for a total of four takes offs and four landings!
The first leg was Oakland to Denver, where is was snowing! I thought I was going to be so nervous about the snow, but seeing them de-ice the plane and remembering all of the information about the technicians that you give in the How Flying Works DVDs helped me to realize that the crew knew what they were doing. It was amazing to see that green de-ice liquid arc over the wing on take off. I of course had a window seat right overlooking the wing and could see the air brakes and ailerons just like you said in the DVDs. It was comforting to see it all come together.
I was a bit uneasy with the sensations of landing, but I had no problems with the take-offs. So I had your "Take Me Along" segments on my iPod and those helped ease me into the landings.
We went on from Denver to Baltimore, we hit a hard patch of turbulence and it really was abrupt. I had a moment where I had to have my friend help me rationalize, but my fear didn''''t go pass 5 and I calmed down very quickly once I realized the pilot took us down a few feet to get out of the turbulence.
The flight back home went from Baltimore to Kansas City. And from Kansas City back to Oakland. It was a gorgeous day - the sun was shining and the views from the plane were truly inspiring. I had no problems at all on the return flight. Even though I had some apprehension and premonition thinking on the way to the airport - it still was never more than a 1 and I got on the plane pretty much worry free - just observing my thoughts not making them into a movie and remembering that air is like jell-o.
Thank you so so much for putting this course together! I have been afraid to fly for 11 years - I had not been on a plane since 1998! And now I can''''''''t wait to go to Europe!
I also have to add that my father-in-law was a Colonel in the Air Force and my husband and I were going back East on this trip for his funeral service at Arlington. It meant the world to me that I could honor this great man by being able to get in the sky and fly out for his service. I know he is proud of me, as I am proud of myself.
Thank you again.
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SOAR Will Work For You Too
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could
help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other
program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No
matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
- Call me at 877 332-7359 between 10 AM and 6 PM Eastern time or
- Set up a time online at http://soar.genbook.com
- No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.
Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
- Accelerated courses give you the most help possible in the time you have available.
- A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
- What you pay is 100% transferable to the SOAR Video Course 11 DVDs.
Start viewing on your computer screen in two minutes.
- Get a compact version of the SOAR Course.
- Load it on your laptop, iPod or other media player. More info.
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Unsure Which To Choose
If
you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so
we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.
We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.
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Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You''''ll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You''''ll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
- find out how I can help you with flying
- discuss the possibility of a counseling session
- set up a time that fits your schedule
Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803
- a twenty-minute session is $60.00 if not enrolled in a course.
- one twenty-minute session is free if enrolled in any course.
- additional twenty-minute sessions are $60.00.
- two one-hour sessions are included in the SOAR Guaranteed Program
Schedule An Individual Session Online
Note: Times Listed Are Eastern Time (same as New York)