Chat Wednesday 9 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
Free Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom Wednesday 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
- dial (712) 432-3900
-
when asked, enter the conference ID 9352101 followed by the # sign
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Last Chance For The New York SOAR-Fest
It's this Saturday. See the bottom of this email for details.
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Remember The Terror Warnings About Liquid On Planes?
When security measures were put into place to "protect" the public from liquid explosives on planes, I told readers here it was a hoax. Sure enough, the security measures are being dismantled. Notice how quietly it is being done. See the obscure report at this link.
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Perfectionistism
Perfectionism, often associated with flight anxiety, is the subject of a book, Present Perfect, by Pavel G. Somov, Ph.D. Dr. Somov says perfectionism is a psychological hunger, and that there are three types:
- approval/validation hunger
- reflection/attention hunger
- control/certainty hunger
Here is a brief excerpt from his book.
Approval/Validation Hunger Perfectionism:
Conscientious compulsives tend to be hard-working, dutiful, and ever eager to meet others' expectations. They fear "that failure to perform perfectly will lead to both abandonment and condemnation" by others.. . . you essentially live in fear of others' disapproval of you.
Reflection/Attention Hunger Perfectionism:
At a certain stage of our growing up it is essential that we feel seen, acknowledged, and attended to - i.e., mirrored. Perfectionism can be an adaptation to a deficit of mirroring. Growing up with an insecure, possibly narcissistic, parent, you might have lost your sense of self because your sense of self was in the service of being a mirror for your parent's hungry ego. And now the only way for you to feel good about yourself is to stand out by being perfect. . . . If you recognize yourself in this, cut yourself some slack: you aren't bad, you are just starved.
Control/Certainty Hunger Perfectionism:
Life's confusing and full of the unexpected. . . . To deal with this uncertainty and lack of control, we shop around for . . . something that makes half decent sense, we latch on to it. As we become invested in a particular way of living and thinking, we become understandably threatened by differences . . . undermining our hard-earned sense of certainty and control. Some of us respond by becoming more rigid. We might even fight back by insisting that others should live, think, act the way we do. So, in trying to protect our sense of control, we become judgmental and controlling. . . . We are all new to this confusing, bewildering and awesome world. Living - like any skill - has a learning curve to it. If you are reading this, you are climbing this curve.
Exercise: What's Eating at Me?
Ask yourself: What am I hungering for? . . . What will approval prove? What will validation validate? What will certainty assure me from? . . . Whose pat on my back has the power of the Midas touch that makes me feel golden, valuable, worthwhile? Whose opinion of me do I worship, seek out, cater to? Who has the power and wisdom to reassure me of all my fears and insecurities? . . . . Ask yourself: Who promoted this person/these people to this special status? How did they earn such clout, such influence in my life? Ask yourself: How have I gotten by all these years without that I'm still chasing?
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Pregnant? Even Licorice Can Be A Problem
Research at the University of Helsinki and the University of Edinburgh indicates large amounts of licorice impair the placenta's ability to keep the mother's stress hormones from reaching the baby.
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"Faced My Fear"
I wanted to thank you again and let you know I am now in Israel. I didn't have any anxiety prior to the flight. I was at peace throughout the long flights. My sixteen-month-old daughter was great as well. It feels amazing to have faced my fear. Thank you for your program and all of your support. The only time I had a little anxiety was during take off, and after doing 54321, it was gone.
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"Helped Me So Much"
Deat Tom,
I have been in your program for the past 3 years. Previous to that, I had not flown for 9 years. Now my family and I fly about once a year. I always seem to get nervous a week before and in the airport. I practice all the strengthening exercises and try not to worry about flying until that actual day. Speaking to you a day or two before always seems to help me a great deal. I had mentioned to you that I usually take a 1/2 a Xanax about an hour before the flight(usually in the airport) and the other half while on the plane. You suggested that I try not taking the other half so that I would be more alert. You also suggested calling you in the airport if needed. I was nervous about your suggestion, because it meant more work on my part. However, after speaking to you, I knew it made sense and that it was time to move forward in my progress.
We flew to Florida On the way there, I am so proud to say that I DID NOT NEED THE OTHER HALF. I also didn't need to call you. It was more work for me to process everything clearer, but the reality was -there was nothing to be afraid of. No anxiety or panic set in and I was able to fly comfortably. I felt so good.A couple of times, I had some disturbing thoughts like"what the heck is holding us up?" But I quickly changed my thought process to the Jello and all the things I learned from your program. I also focused on my vacation and how great it would be.
On the way back, I was calm, reminding myself how well it went on the way there. I didn't feel the need to present the letter about being seated first or meeting the Captain. As a matter of fact we had a 3 1/2 hour wait before our flight (which is always the hardest time for me) and again, I just took the 1/2 Xanax!!!
I felt so good about this time flying! I journal every time I'm on my flights. I find that helpful to re-read prior to another flight. It reminds me of how well I did and pushes me for the next time. Tom, as always, I thank you for all your encouragement and support. Your program has helped me so much! God bless you and your work.
I have been in your program for the past 3 years. Previous to that, I had not flown for 9 years. Now my family and I fly about once a year. I always seem to get nervous a week before and in the airport. I practice all the strengthening exercises and try not to worry about flying until that actual day. Speaking to you a day or two before always seems to help me a great deal. I had mentioned to you that I usually take a 1/2 a Xanax about an hour before the flight(usually in the airport) and the other half while on the plane. You suggested that I try not taking the other half so that I would be more alert. You also suggested calling you in the airport if needed. I was nervous about your suggestion, because it meant more work on my part. However, after speaking to you, I knew it made sense and that it was time to move forward in my progress.
We flew to Florida On the way there, I am so proud to say that I DID NOT NEED THE OTHER HALF. I also didn't need to call you. It was more work for me to process everything clearer, but the reality was -there was nothing to be afraid of. No anxiety or panic set in and I was able to fly comfortably. I felt so good.A couple of times, I had some disturbing thoughts like"what the heck is holding us up?" But I quickly changed my thought process to the Jello and all the things I learned from your program. I also focused on my vacation and how great it would be.
On the way back, I was calm, reminding myself how well it went on the way there. I didn't feel the need to present the letter about being seated first or meeting the Captain. As a matter of fact we had a 3 1/2 hour wait before our flight (which is always the hardest time for me) and again, I just took the 1/2 Xanax!!!
I felt so good about this time flying! I journal every time I'm on my flights. I find that helpful to re-read prior to another flight. It reminds me of how well I did and pushes me for the next time. Tom, as always, I thank you for all your encouragement and support. Your program has helped me so much! God bless you and your work.
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SOAR Will Work For You Too
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could
help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other
program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No
matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
- Call me at 877 332-7359 between 10 AM and 6 PM Eastern time or
- Set up a time online at http://soar.genbook.com
- No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.
Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
- Accelerated courses give you the most help possible in the time you have available.
- A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
- What you pay is 100% transferable to the SOAR Video Course 11 DVDs.
Start viewing on your computer screen in two minutes.
- Get a compact version of the SOAR Course.
- Load it on your laptop, iPod or other media player. More info.
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Unsure Which To Choose
If
you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so
we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.
We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.
This year's location is le Zie, a Venetian Trattoria located in the Chelsea district of Manhattan. We have a private dining room upstairs, separate from the main part of the restaurant. A photo of the room is at this link.
The room accommodates 24 people comfortably at one large table. If attending the SOARFest is important to you, please reserve now to avoid missing out, as the space is limited.
To Sign Up For The New York SOAR-Fest
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New York SOAR-Fest October 17th
This year's location is le Zie, a Venetian Trattoria located in the Chelsea district of Manhattan. We have a private dining room upstairs, separate from the main part of the restaurant. A photo of the room is at this link.
- Meet and have dinner with people who feel the same as you do about flying. You don't have to be in the SOAR program.
- Dinner is at 7:00 PM. If you can, meet us at the bar at any time between 5:30 PM and 7:00 PM.
- The price: $68.50 total per person (includes service and taxes).
The room accommodates 24 people comfortably at one large table. If attending the SOARFest is important to you, please reserve now to avoid missing out, as the space is limited.
To Sign Up For The New York SOAR-Fest
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Todd Curtis On Pilot Pay
has prepared some information on pilot pay you can find at this link.
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Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
- find out how I can help you with flying
- discuss the possibility of a counseling session
- set up a time that fits your schedule
Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803
- a twenty-minute session is $60.00 if not enrolled in a course.
- one twenty-minute session is free if enrolled in any course.
- additional twenty-minute sessions are $60.00.
- two one-hour sessions are included in the SOAR Guaranteed Program
Schedule An Individual Session Online
Note: Times Listed Are Eastern Time (same as New York)