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Lying And Flying
Psychologist Paul Ekman has studied liars -- and how to tell they are lying -- for many years. There is an article in the New York Times about him because of a new television show based on him and his work. Ekman studied facial expression, body movements and speech patterns.
Something I found particularly interesting is tha the accuracy of his analysis, he says, depends in part on whether it is the first or second time a person is telling the lie.
When an anxious flier first thinks "what if both engines quit" the person recognizes this as conjecture, or as imagination. But that act of conjecture - or imagination - can be recorded into memory. This means that the second time "what if both engines quit" comes to mind, it may be memory, rather than imagination.
Just as it is harder for Ekman to recognize a lie the second time it is told, it is harder for an anxious flier to recognize a second mental appearance of "what if both engines quit" to be imagination. Why? It may be coming from memory. And, when something comes to mind from memory, it carries with it a sense of validity.
If someone tells you a lie, and you accept it as the truth, you bear some responsibility if you fail to examine what you are told for indications that it doesn't match reality. The same thing is true when flying. You bear some responsibility if you fail to examine what you find in your mind for indications that it doesn't match reality.
When you are startled by something unexpected, a shot of stress hormones is released which increases your heart rate, your breathing rate, and makes you pay attention. What are you supposed to do next? You are supposed to use your mind to determine whether or not there is danger.
Where people go wrong in phobia is, when they feel this increase in heart rate, breathing rate, and sense this hormone-driven need to pay attention, they do just the opposite of what they are supposed to do. They do not use their mind. Instead, they simply accept that whatever caused this alert means danger.
It is a form of lying to yourself. If you feel those feelings of alert, you lie to yourself; you say, "I'm in danger". And you are responsible for believing the lie. Why? Because you didn't check to see if what is in your mind matches reality.
The second time you tell yourself the lie, it is even easier to accept its face value because it comes from memory. Since memory is where you store things that really happened to you, when something is retrieved from memory, you are primed to accept it as valid.
I hope you are beginning to look at your own mental processing the way Ekman looks at what a person tells him, in order to determine whether it is a lie or not.
Don't accept what is in your mind as valid. Check what you have in mind. See if there is evidence that it is valid. If a con man cons you and you haven't gone to the trouble to check for evidence, what happens as a result of your being conned is your own fault.
If you let yourself be conned by what comes to mind when flying (or thinking of flying) because you have not checked it out for evidence, the fear you feel is no ones fault but your own.
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These Seven Habits (to break) of Highly Effective People
The 7 worst habits of these workaholics include:
1. Forgetting to relax: Some stress can be good because it keeps you alert and motivated; too much stress, however, will take its toll on your body.
2. Eating on the go: Who has time to sit down for a healthy lunch? But beware of frozen meals, fast, and processed food that can be high in sodium, calories, and fat.
3. Putting off sleep for work: Lack of sleep can cause irritability, difficulty concentrating, memory problems, poor judgment, and obesity.
4. Not making time for exercise: Humans were not designed to sit at desks for 8 hours a day. Exercise has been shown to reduce the risk for nearly every major disease and to help fight anxiety and depression.
5. Working when sick: 3 common-sense reasons to stay home: avoid spreading the infection, you'll be less productive, and you need your rest to get better.
6. Drinking (too much): Moderate alcohol consumption has some proven health benefits , but excessive drinking can lead to alcoholism, liver disease, and some forms of cancer.
7. Skipping annual medical checkups: Depending on age, family history, and lifestyle, a comprehensive medical checkup and special screenings is recommended every 1 to 5 years.
These Seven Habits (to break) of Highly Effective People comes from Dr George Griffing, Professor of Medicine at St. Louis University and Editor in Chief of Internal Medicine for eMedicine.
1. Forgetting to relax: Some stress can be good because it keeps you alert and motivated; too much stress, however, will take its toll on your body.
2. Eating on the go: Who has time to sit down for a healthy lunch? But beware of frozen meals, fast, and processed food that can be high in sodium, calories, and fat.
3. Putting off sleep for work: Lack of sleep can cause irritability, difficulty concentrating, memory problems, poor judgment, and obesity.
4. Not making time for exercise: Humans were not designed to sit at desks for 8 hours a day. Exercise has been shown to reduce the risk for nearly every major disease and to help fight anxiety and depression.
5. Working when sick: 3 common-sense reasons to stay home: avoid spreading the infection, you'll be less productive, and you need your rest to get better.
6. Drinking (too much): Moderate alcohol consumption has some proven health benefits , but excessive drinking can lead to alcoholism, liver disease, and some forms of cancer.
7. Skipping annual medical checkups: Depending on age, family history, and lifestyle, a comprehensive medical checkup and special screenings is recommended every 1 to 5 years.
These Seven Habits (to break) of Highly Effective People comes from Dr George Griffing, Professor of Medicine at St. Louis University and Editor in Chief of Internal Medicine for eMedicine.
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Hudson River Landing Cartoon
Historically, airlines have found that money they spend on safety does not translate into more business, nor an ability to charge a higher fare. When customers look for a flight, price is the main factor, and even a dollar less can seal a sale.
But this landing in the Hudson has, at least temporarily, resulted in some appreciation for piloting skills, and perhaps even some interest in paying a bit more for skillful ones.
I would, though, like to remind you that though the captain did a great job, the average airline pilot would (contrary to what some so-called experts have said) have no trouble making such a water landing successfully. It is just that he, being an ex-fighter pilot and glider pilot, made it -- for him -- a "no-brainer".
Sometimes it is nice to have an overqualified pilot. And, to ensure we continue having pilots who are qualified, if not overqualified, commensurate compensation is required for the job.
Patrick's column this week explains. See this link.
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Rather Drive Than Fly?
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Does Religion Lead To Anxiety, Or Does Anxiety Lead To Religion?
A study done in Chicago of 3105 adults included study of the relationship between religion and hypertension. Though a sense of meaning and purpose was linked to a 7% lower likelihood of being hypertensive, both prayer and the belief that attending church service to be helpful were linked to a higher incidence of hypertension.
It has been my observation that there is a strong link between anxiety and strong involvement in religion. The question is, do people who are anxious turn to religion - thus explaining the correlation - or does religious indoctrination lead to anxiety?
Every Sunday morning meant a "hell fire and damnation" sermon when I was a child. Fortunately, I didn't believe them. But people who did, it seemed to me, were consumed with anxiety. My Aunt Petrona would go to church and shake like a leaf. And if my Grandmother thought she might be - or even seem to others to be - doing something sinful, she became extremely anxious.
Those are simple and obvious connections between religion and anxiety. But I believe there is a more fundamental connection. I think all parents simplify things for their children. Initially, we tell our children that there is "safe" and "unsafe". We tell them there is "right" and "wrong". Most parents, however, expect that when children grow up, they will be able to easily understand for themselves that things are not that simple, and to adjust accordingly.
On the other hand, parents whose religious belief involve a fundamentalist point of view hope their children will keep the same views when they grow up; rather, they expect continued belief in absolutes.
This creates a serious anxiety problem. When a person who believes "right" and "wrong" are carved in stone finds they simply cannot keep themselves on the "straight and narrow", anxiety becomes a problem.
Similarly, when a person believes - even as an adult - in "safe" and "unsafe", there is a serious problem. Why? Because if anything can go wrong, or if anything ever has gone wrong, that thing cannot be regarded as safe. Thus, since planes can crash, and because planes have crashed, planes are not "safe". That is because "safety" requires absolute safety in this view of the world.
I recognize that this is in conflict with the religious teachings that some readers are aligned with; certainly it is in conflict with the religious teachings of my childhood. But the fact remains: "right" and "wrong" are far more complex than what we were taught as children. "Safe" and "unsafe" are also more complex.
I'm sure that most of the people who were shaken up by the Hudson River water landing were shaken up because this event caused their current assessment of flying from "safe" to "unsafe".
Here is the text of an email I sent out to a person shaken by this event:
What you are going to need to do at some point - and that point may be now - it may be later is this: you are going to be forced by reality to give up your idea that the world is divided into "safe" and "unsafe".
It is not that simple. You rely on "safe" in order to feel OK. As soon as there is one example of two engines failing on air airliner in fifty years, THAT throws you. It throws you because, just once in fifty years means it is possible, and if possible, it means "unsafe".
It has been my observation that there is a strong link between anxiety and strong involvement in religion. The question is, do people who are anxious turn to religion - thus explaining the correlation - or does religious indoctrination lead to anxiety?
It could be both. If anxious, and looking for relief, certainly religious belief can help. But my concern is that religion which objects to use of the intellect (unless such use follows religious dogma) may lead to anxiety problems.
Every Sunday morning meant a "hell fire and damnation" sermon when I was a child. Fortunately, I didn't believe them. But people who did, it seemed to me, were consumed with anxiety. My Aunt Petrona would go to church and shake like a leaf. And if my Grandmother thought she might be - or even seem to others to be - doing something sinful, she became extremely anxious.
Those are simple and obvious connections between religion and anxiety. But I believe there is a more fundamental connection. I think all parents simplify things for their children. Initially, we tell our children that there is "safe" and "unsafe". We tell them there is "right" and "wrong". Most parents, however, expect that when children grow up, they will be able to easily understand for themselves that things are not that simple, and to adjust accordingly.
On the other hand, parents whose religious belief involve a fundamentalist point of view hope their children will keep the same views when they grow up; rather, they expect continued belief in absolutes.
This creates a serious anxiety problem. When a person who believes "right" and "wrong" are carved in stone finds they simply cannot keep themselves on the "straight and narrow", anxiety becomes a problem.
Similarly, when a person believes - even as an adult - in "safe" and "unsafe", there is a serious problem. Why? Because if anything can go wrong, or if anything ever has gone wrong, that thing cannot be regarded as safe. Thus, since planes can crash, and because planes have crashed, planes are not "safe". That is because "safety" requires absolute safety in this view of the world.
I recognize that this is in conflict with the religious teachings that some readers are aligned with; certainly it is in conflict with the religious teachings of my childhood. But the fact remains: "right" and "wrong" are far more complex than what we were taught as children. "Safe" and "unsafe" are also more complex.
The reason this simplified point of view causes anxiety is this: when there are only two categories (safe and unsafe), it only takes one crash - ever - to move flying from safe to unsafe. If it is even possible to crash, safety cannot be regarded as absolute, and thus flying moves into unsafe category.
If that view is things is maintained, I know of no way to deal with anxiety. That is, unless the solution to anxiety is based on one of the following:
- absolute faith that God will protect you no matter what, or
- illusion that flying is absolutely safe, or
- you are - somehow - invulnerable.
I'm sure that most of the people who were shaken up by the Hudson River water landing were shaken up because this event caused their current assessment of flying from "safe" to "unsafe".
Here is the text of an email I sent out to a person shaken by this event:
What you are going to need to do at some point - and that point may be now - it may be later is this: you are going to be forced by reality to give up your idea that the world is divided into "safe" and "unsafe".
It is not that simple. You rely on "safe" in order to feel OK. As soon as there is one example of two engines failing on air airliner in fifty years, THAT throws you. It throws you because, just once in fifty years means it is possible, and if possible, it means "unsafe".
Though some will disagree, I see no way to deal with anxiety in a healthy way other than to recognize the following: safety is relative. Nothing is absolutely safe. The relative safety of flying is very high indeed. Very high, but not absolute.
That is all you get. Until you can make the shift from absolute thinking to relative thinking,you are doomed to anxiety or to shifting endlessly from feeling safe to anxious to safe to anxious, etc., etc.
If you can move from requiring absolute safety to feel OK to accepting a high level of safety to feel OK, you will do well.
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"Old Thunderbird's" Trip Report
He didn't fly for many years. For a lengthy report on how flying has become, see this link.
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Call So I Can Help You Understand Why SOAR Will Work For You
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
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Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
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Unsure Which To Choose
If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.
We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.
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Don't Miss Patrick's Column This Week
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Todd Curtis Interview On The Hudson River Landing
This is an audio recording of an interview with Dr. Todd Curtis, PhD., former Boeing engineer who studied bird strikes click here.
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Here Is A Great Video
It shows you all the air traffic in the world, over a twenty-four hour period.
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Less Stressed People Have Less Dementia
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Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
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Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
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