Chat Wednesday 9 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
Free Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom Wednesday 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
- dial (712) 432-3900
- when asked to enter the conference ID 9352101 followed by the # sign
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For US Airlines, A New Air Safety Record
For the first time, US Airlines have flown for two consecutive years without a single airline passenger death. "It's a new record," says Arnold Barnett, a Massachusetts Institute of Technology professor who has written extensively about airline fatality risks. "While it doesn't mean risk is now non-existent," Barnett says, "it certainly means they have done a fantastic job at keeping all these threats at bay."
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That Mysterious 5HTT Gene
For some time, researchers have known the the 5HTT gene plays a role in anxiety. Humans have two 5HTT genes. This gene has two variations: long tailed, and short tailed. Research has shown that individuals with one or more short-tailed 5HTT genes are more likely to suffer depression or anxiety disorder.
It is also interesting that some individuals are helped by reassurance, or even positive thinking, while others are not. Now, in a surprise discovery, researchers at Uppsala University in Sweden have found that people who have two long tailed 5HTT genes got as much anxiety relief from a placebo as an active anti-anxiety medication. In other words, the belief that they were being helped gave them as much real relief from anxiety as a medication did. However, people with the short tailed 5HTT gene got significantly more benefit from medication than from placebo. Apparently for the genetically less trouble-prone, reassurance goes a long way.
As to fear of flying, this may explain why reassurance that everything will be all right may work with your friends, but not with you. The research is published in The Journal of Neuroscience, December 3, 2008, pages 13066-13074.
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As We Are Versus As We Want To Be
Heinz Kohut was an important figure in psychological theory. Apparently Kohut throught
people universally want to be better, because he termed a person's concept of
who he or she is, the "pole of ambition". He termed a person's concept of who they should be -- but aren't -- the "pole of ideals". If there is a massive gap between the two, that would seem to cause great distress.
people universally want to be better, because he termed a person's concept of
who he or she is, the "pole of ambition". He termed a person's concept of who they should be -- but aren't -- the "pole of ideals". If there is a massive gap between the two, that would seem to cause great distress.
Kohut believed the distress about the gap between the two poles could be dealt with. How? To answer this, Kohut added another element called the "tension arc". Think of that element as a sort of suspension bridge, fastened at one end to the pole of ideals, and fastened at the other end to the pole of who-I-am-but-don't-want-to-be.
The idea was, "OK, so I'm not the person I want to be, but I CAN see a way to get there from here." I think Kohut was right; it is painful when there is no bridge: no way to get from being a chimp to being a champ.
Why is there no bridge? When you are a little kid and come to a parent in tears, what happens? A parent who is empty says, "Stop your crying or I'll give you something to cry about!" or "Big boys don't cry." Empty suit parents make you feel lower than zero.
Parents who have inner resourses share them with their children. They say, "I know what you feel, but it is OK. Everything is going to work out. LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO HOOK UP A BRIDGE between how you feel now and how you want to feel, between where you are now and where you want to be, to how things are now and how you want things to be".
Parents who are running on empty have nothing to give. It wouldn't be so bad for the children if the parents would level with them, but pride can make that hard. They want us to be better than they are. But their attempts to help us by demands can be counterproductive. Instead of building emotional strength the way everything gets built, from the foundation UP, empty parents tell children to build it from the goal DOWN.
This reminds me of an empty-suit Vice President of Flight Operations we had at Pan Am. Our Chief Pilot in New York complained about him, saying that whenever he went to the empty-suit with a problem, all the empty suit would say was, "FIX IT!"
That's what empty suits do. If our parents didn't have enough emotional strength to help us build our own from bottom up, it is easy to be angry at them for demanding we build it from the top down. Kohut, of course, recognized that trying to build from the top down produces nothing but a huge gap.
The reason we, as adults,
have difficulty regulating emotion is that empty suit parents told us
"control yourself" instead of showing us how. A child has no
ability to calm down until around ten months simply because
the part of the brain that can learn to do that doesn't exist until
then. Then, once that part of the brain does exist, it has to be
"programmed". The step-by-step things that need to be done to calm down
need to be done WITH the child by the parent.
But the empty suit parent, instead of programming the child, says,
"Program Yourself!" The result is a child-now-adult who was never
provided the bridge of emotional regulation needed to move toward goals.
have difficulty regulating emotion is that empty suit parents told us
"control yourself" instead of showing us how. A child has no
ability to calm down until around ten months simply because
the part of the brain that can learn to do that doesn't exist until
then. Then, once that part of the brain does exist, it has to be
"programmed". The step-by-step things that need to be done to calm down
need to be done WITH the child by the parent.
But the empty suit parent, instead of programming the child, says,
"Program Yourself!" The result is a child-now-adult who was never
provided the bridge of emotional regulation needed to move toward goals.
What I hope we are doing with SOAR is building a bridge for people between where they are in their difficulty with flying to where they want to be.
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Military Flight
I flew to Louisiana on a military turbo prop plane. I wanted to write back to report how it went.
The anticipatory anxiety was the worst! And since I was having such a rough time I really didn't think that I would be OK on the flight. When we arrived at the airport, I promptly introduced myself to the pilot, co pilot, and flight chief. (with tears in my eyes!) They were very sympathetic and told me that if there was anything they could do to ease my fear they would. They invited me to the cockpit at any time (it was almost in plane sight the entire flight). The pilot also assured me that they wanted to arrive safely at the destination as much as I did, and they would do all in their power to ensure that.
As the plane took off I was amazed. I was nervous. I was not as comfortable as I would have been on the ground. But I was not the frantic mess I used to be. I was actually able to enjoy the flight. We were flying in the clouds and I could not see a thing as we descended and landed. But I knew that the pilots could and that was all that mattered. I was able to identify sounds and sensations thanks to your course. I kept myself calm in the knowledge that the plane was doing exactly what it should be and everything was fine.
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First Flight
Well on my 49th birthday I finally took my first flight. I have always been scared of flying and would drive everywhere, even a 3-day trip from Ga. to Las Vegas. Well, when I found out our next meeting was back in Vegas and my boss was making me fly, I knew I had to find some program to help me with the flight. Thankfully I found SOAR on the web.
I have had anxiety attacks before and knew that is not something I wanted to experience on a airplane. Well, after reviewing the DVDs and reading every e-mail, the day came for me to take my first flight. I was expecting to feel somewhat nervous but it never came. I was truly surprised sitting in the terminal waiting to board the plane that I felt no anxiety. I boarded the plane, backed away from the terminal, taxied to the runway and had the plane take off before I remembered I was supposed to give the captain a letter stating I was a fearful flier.
It turned out that I really enjoyed the flight. I had a window seat and tracked the planes progress from Georgia to Vegas and couldn't wait for the return trip home. The only bad part about the trip was on the return flight I had a window seat over the wing and could not see the ground to track our progress cross county.
Thanks to you and your program I am eagerly waiting on our next sales meeting.
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Beijing - "I Never Thought I Would Be Able To Do It"
Capt. Tom, I haven't had a chance to read your newsletters lately BECAUSE I'VE BEEN IN CHINA!!!!! I actually made it on a plane to Beijing. Oh my gosh, you can't believe how amazing I feel.
I thought that whole section of the planet was forever off limits to me. And with your help, I made it. Thank you so much for opening up my world. For letting me experience this wonderful, interesting and completely foreign culture. I never thought I would be able to do it.
As I was flying, pretty confidently, I felt like the whole world was once again open to me. It was amazing. Now maybe I can plan that African Safari, or kayaking in Australia. But even if I don't, this one trip to china was life-changing. And I am so happy and proud of myself.
And I thank you, thank you, thank you. You don't know what you've given me!!!
I thought that whole section of the planet was forever off limits to me. And with your help, I made it. Thank you so much for opening up my world. For letting me experience this wonderful, interesting and completely foreign culture. I never thought I would be able to do it.
As I was flying, pretty confidently, I felt like the whole world was once again open to me. It was amazing. Now maybe I can plan that African Safari, or kayaking in Australia. But even if I don't, this one trip to china was life-changing. And I am so happy and proud of myself.
And I thank you, thank you, thank you. You don't know what you've given me!!!
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Call So I Can Help You Understand Why SOAR Will Work For You
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
- Call me at 877 332-7359 between 10 AM and 6 PM Eastern time or
- Set up a time online at http://soar.genbook.com
- No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.
Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
- Accelerated courses give you the most help possible in the time you have available.
- A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
- What you pay is 100% transferable to the SOAR Video Course 11 DVDs.
Start viewing on your computer screen in two minutes.
- Get a compact version of the SOAR Course.
- Load it on your laptop, iPod or other media player. More info.
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Unsure Which To Choose
If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.
We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.
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Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
- find out how I can help you with flying
- discuss the possibility of a counseling session
- set up a time that fits your schedule
Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803
- a twenty-minute session is $60.00 if not enrolled in a course.
- one twenty-minute session is free if enrolled in any course.
- additional twenty-minute sessions are $60.00.
- two one-hour sessions are included in the SOAR Guaranteed Program
Schedule An Individual Session Online
Note: Times Listed Are Eastern Time (same as New York)
