Free Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom Wednesday 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time

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The SOAR Library -- Open And Free



Articles for you on aviation and flight anxiety are at www.fearofflying.com/wordpress/

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Transcript Of An Online Chat



On our web site, visitors can have a one-to-one chat with us. The chat system makes a transcript. Since what was said was spontaneous, I  thought it might offer a helpful insight into what others think and feel, and what my thoughts are in response.



I've edited the transcript to change the person's name to "Caller" and remove anything said that might identify the person.



Caller:

    Well, just some reassurance really. I'm potentially taking my first transatlantic flight in a couple of days' time, alone, and I'm quite nervous about it. Worry about flying is a new development for me



Capt Tom:

    Well, as we go along year after year, we come up with more information about air disasters. That becomes ammunition for triggering the release of stress hormones. Each piece of information can cause one shot of stress hormones. Several pieces, can cause several shots of stress hormones, enough to really rev you up.



   What we do is set up an exercise that trains your mind not to think of one thing after another, after another.



   But, in terms of reassurance, I can give you some. I have flown thousands of flights across the Atlantic and Pacific. On a paper map, you get the idea you are far from land. That is because paper maps distort the picture, since -- after all - the earth is a sphere. The route is up over Canada, a bit south of Greenland, a bit south of Iceland, over Ireland, etc. So you are close to land all the time.



Caller:  

   It's just the idea of being in the passenger section, enclosed, for 7 3/4 hours. Plus once I'm at the airport, the anxiety starts to kick in even before I'm on the aircraft



Capt Tom:

    OK. Are you afraid of a panic attack?



Caller:

    Yes, as I've had to back out of a similar flight in the past, as I got quite worked up



Capt Tom:

    Panic can only happen when there are several things that worry you at once. For example, if you think "what if the wings fall off",  that could -- on a scale of zero to ten, take you to about "a two". So, you need FIVE thoughts of that nature to cause panic. And if you have one that leads to the next, which leads to the next, if that happens in just a couple of seconds, you can panic. What we do is isolate each disaster thought. Then, we neutralize each disaster thought so it doesn't even give you one shot of stress hormones. That makes it impossible to panic.



Caller:

    I suppose the long wait before the flight  gives me too much time to think about what might happen



Capt Tom:

    Well, that is "anticipatory anxiety". That is where you imagine all the things that could go wrong. The other thing is "flight anxiety". It comes because you have NO control, NO one to reassure you unless a pilot is in the seat next to you, and NO escape. Normally, on the ground, we can control things, get reassurances about things and escape if things get bad. On the plane, we lose those aids. So, there is nothing that can be done to make it better other than to strengthen you emotionally so you don't need control, or reassurance or escape.



   We can strengthen you by making it so one thought doesn't cause the next, and the next, etc, and by neutralizing the power each has to cause trouble.



    If you want to consider it we have two accelerated courses. Once can be done in just a day or  two. It can give you amazing control over the feelings. The key is to set up AUTOMATIC control. It has to be automatic, because fear develops so rapidly that you can't counter it by reason.



Caller:

    Yeah. One of the problems I had was that even though I could rationally tell myself that the flight would be safe and that everything would be fine, an overwhelming part of me was convinced it wouldn't be, and that's what stopped me getting on my flight a while ago



Capt Tom:

    Exactly. The emotions develop BEFORE you can even begin to tell yourself it is OK. That is why approaches using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy don't work for flight anxiety. Good for other things, but not this.



Caller:

    I wouldn't have the opportunity to try desensitization either, as flying isn't cheap, and I wouldn't be able to get in an aircraft often enough to help quell the fear, especially if I had to build up to a long flight



Capt Tom:

    Desensitization can't be done in an effective way when it comes to flying. Desensitization  works only when you can "titrate" it; start the exposure very mild, and increase it so slightly the person can't distinguish the steps. You just can't do that with flying.



Caller:

    I guess not. So from your experience, I should have nothing to worry about with regard to a transatlantic flight, even if it's with a low-cost airline?



Capt Tom:

    The way I would put it is that we have planes now that are so good that we have a crash only once in three to five million flights. It would be nice to say there is "nothing" to worry about. But it is just that we have a very, very small to consider.



   Most people can accept a risk that small without a problem. But that isn't everyone. It is kind of like the movie about astronauts, "The Right Stuff". They had the ability to deal with major risk. We just need to help you be able to deal with a very minor risk.



Caller:

    Funny that you should mention that movie, as I was thinking about it as an example of people who could deal calmly with risks (excellent movie too!). It's just odd that I have no trouble driving on busy or dangerous roads, or taking the train - it's just flying, and it's something that's sneaked up on me recently.



Capt Tom:

    The statistics show that flying is a hundred times safer than driving. But that means nothing emotionally. We all have a certain built-in ability to deal with uncertainty. If it is relatively low, we feel better when we have control, can get reassurance, or have a way out. So, on the ground, when you drive, you have control. On the ground, you have the reassurance of having driving this long and not gotten killed (and though it happened to other chaps, it didn't happen to you, so that is reassuring). And you figure you have a way out of a minor crash. In the air, you don't have control, or reassurance or a way out, so you are emotionally naked, down to your basic built-in ability to deal with uncertainty, which isn't as good as you would like it to be.



   The amount we have is built-in at an early age, so it isn't your doing; it is something you sort of inherit. If you have rich parents, you inherit a few quid. If you have emotionally secure parents, you inherit that. If they aren't so secure, you don't.



Caller:

    I suppose I've never really been thrust into a situation where I've had to a) fly alone or b) fly long-haul before, and doing both for the first time and at the same time is pretty daunting. Plus I seem to have a natural predisposition to being negative or considering the worst



Capt Tom:

    All that adds up. That natural predisposition is what I'm talking about. You inherit it. So, you need to control. And when you have control, such as in your car, you feel secure.



   I have had a couple of clients who were New York City undercover cops. They felt in control on the street; maybe because they had guns. But they had major trouble flying.



Caller:

    That's the thing - I feel a lot more comfortable when I have input, as I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I just can't understand where this relatively recent problem with being up in the air has come from, as I've flown safely before (though each trip less than 5 hrs), and been fine for the most part (although I've been anxious on occasion). And now I have an exceptional chance to fly to a place I may never get to go to again, and I'm becoming quite terrified. It's just so frustrating!



Capt Tom:

    I think it develops simply because of ADDITIONAL things that build up, and -- for this flight -- perhaps an ADDITIONAL stressor. Just enough to "be the straw that breaks the camel's back"



Caller:

    There are other stresses, I suppose. This trip would be my chance to see a loved one who I won't get the chance to see for another 2 months if I miss this flight, and also I have work stresses too



Capt Tom:

    Well, I'm sure we can fix it.



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"This Phobia Was Ruining My Life"



Hi Tom:  To make a LONG story short, I bought your program over a year ago.  I have tried everything from FEAR OF FLYING seminars, pills, hypnosis, therapy...you name it.  This phobia was ruining my life.  I became a liar...an excuse maker...and a prisoner.  Somehow, I do not even feel anxious the night before I fly.  It just HAPPENED.  Somehow it all clicked.  FINALLY.  I am 42, and I have been wrestling this demon for 20 years.  I have missed birthdays, funerals, weddings, and much more.  Flying (even turbulence) is now a non-entity.  Actually, the hassle at the airports and security stuff is more anxiety-producing than flying.  Your DVDs have the IT FACTOR.  I could go on and on..... but I won't.  Thanks for giving me my life back...

 

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Let's Talk Over Fixing The Flying Problem Now

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• No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.
  
  

SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed which could help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.



Full Length Course



We have the full length SOAR Video Course on 11 DVDs and we have the accelerated FastTrack course. The full length course provides the maximum help possible. More info.

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FastTrack is for you if you have a flight coming up soon, even tomorrow! It includes three hours of the most important video clips from the full length course. More FastTrack info.

Get started now. The SOAR FastTrack program can be on your computer's screen in two minutes.

• Fast Track is inexpensive.
  


• Fast Track gives you the most help possible in the shortest time.
  


• A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
  
  


• What you pay for Fast Track is 100% transferable to the complete SOAR Course DVD or CD.

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Which To Choose

If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.

We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.

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How Could You Expect Me To Associate With That Economy Class Riff-Raff?



When a larger airline parks at the terminal, the doorway ordinarily used to deplane is between first class and economy. Some airlines hold economy passengers back until first class passengers have deplaned. Apparently that was what a first class passenger on a Delta flight into Guyana was expecting. When he saw he was not being given priority, he opened an emergency exit and slid down the chute. Guyanese authorities arrested the man,  a Guyanese citizen, who appeared to be intoxicated.

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Have Some Fun



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Move your mouse to the extreme left or right of your computer screen to navigate through the mountains. Hang in there. You will feel more comfortable after a few minutes.