The Free Group Phone Counseling Session




Free group phone counseling with Capt Tom is from 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern time Wednesday nights. You will need these new numbers.

• dial 641-527-4209

• when asked, enter Guest Code: 6337571 followed by #
  
  

After entering the Guest Code, you may get a message
that the sponsor has not yet arrived. Don't hang up. Just
wait and the system will connect you to the chat within about
fifteen seconds.

Some using Voice Over IP phones and cell phones have had trouble getting in. Keep trying, or use a different phone.



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Feelings



It is all too easy to believe that what you feel, and what is real, are one and the same. According to psychological researcher Peter Fonagy, for the young child, "what exists in the mind must exist out there, and what exists out there must invariably also exist in the mind."



As to flight anxiety, when fear exists in the mind, what exists out there must invariably be dangerous. It just isn't true. Yet, many clients I work with are stuck - and spinning their wheels - in just this kind of mental mud. When in turbulence, there seems to be no way they can question the idea that they are in real danger.



Pilots know turbulence is not a problem. They don't even bother to change altitudes when flying cargo instead of passengers, and can't begin to understand why anyone would fear turbulence. Though an anxious passenger may imagine the pilot is wrestling with the controls trying to keep the plane from plunging, the plane is on autopilot, and more than likely, the captain is sipping a cup of coffee. The biggest hazard - from the captain's point of view - is getting a yellow coffee stain on a white uniform shirt.



To deal with flight anxiety, it is essential to revise your  thinking. You need to appreciate that what is in the mind and what is in reality can be very different, even polar opposites. Fear and danger are not the same. Fear does not mean danger. And absence of fear does not mean safety.



Feelings are nothing more than a hormonal reaction to what is in the mind at the moment, something that is causing the amygdala to release stress hormones. You can be in grave danger and feel no fear at all. Likewise, you can feel terror when completely safe.



Feelings mean nothing when they come from what you see with your
MIND'S eye. Feelings mean something when they come from what you see in your REAL eye.



You could, perhaps, argue that feelings mean something if you have carefully assessed the situation, you have considered all available evidence as to what the situation is, and you are intentionally placing -- in your mind's eye -- images based on reason.



That kind of rationality might be easy for the emotionless Mr. Spock on Star Treck, but that is not what you or I do when anxiety is rampant. Careful assessment does not take place. Consideration of all the available evidence is not done. What is placed in the mind is not there based on reason, but rather, reflexively as a knee-jerk reaction to fear.



That is when we fall back to the level of thinking we did at age two, fully believing that what is real out there and what is in the mind are precisely the same.



We need to think clearly enough to have the mind's eye and reality match up based on reason. That doesn't happen when stress hormones spurs you on the way a jockey's riding crop does a thoroughbred. How do we fix this problem? With the Strengthening Exercise, which quiets down the part of the mind that "revs us up".

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This Week's Hopefully Inspirational Emails

Just returned on a flight from Florida. Last night and this morning the anticipatory anxiety started up again, but it was mostly kept under control with 5,4,3,2,1. And then at the airport I met the pilot and while I felt better after speaking with him, he told me that they had been told there were some weather problems around LaGuardia. Then he told me that just in case there was a problem with weather, they had back up plans to land at Kennedy or Hartford and that they had plenty of fuel if there was a delay.



I thought I'd be a wreck, but as soon as I got on board and met the other pilot I was mostly OK. Then midway he announced there would be some choppy air for a while, but I knew I'd be fine as long as I pictured jello. If there was choppiness I couldn't tell you how long it lasted because I barely remember it. Before I knew it we were getting ready to land.

 

I am very relieved because I've planned another flight at the end of the month and again in early March, so I'm feeling more confident that all will be fine. I keep wondering if I'll ever be one of those comfortable fliers who falls asleep as soon as they sit down on the plane (my husband, for one), or if this is a continuous life-long challenge.

 

Before taking SOAR I tried a lot of different approaches to dealing with flight anxiety. Besides drugs (which didn't work for me either), I also tried the rubber band technique. Also didn't work. So I resorted to avoidance, which, believe it or not, really didn't work either because I'd go for so long without flying that I began to worry about the fact that I hadn't flown!!! Really spiraled out of control. As I've told you each time I've flown in the last two years, I can not thank you enough for developing this wonderful program, Tom. It truly has made air travel almost pleasurable again.



= = = = = = =



I have been meaning to email you for two months now! I wanted to share with you that my husband and I flew to Cancun from Portland and back with great success. I was tremendously nervous to fly out despite previous successful flights after doing the SOAR program. I talked with Lisa the day before my flight and had been doing the exercises for a good month leading up to the flight. Everything went really well on the way there. I was hardly nervous on the first leg to Salt Lake--it was exquisitely beautiful and sunny the whole way there. And the flight to Mexico was smooth as well--I did so well, I even was irritated with a family who was neglecting their very active toddler (in years past, I was too terrified to notice anyone else around me!).

 

Though I was still nervous to come back--and it does seem that coming home is always more difficult--I still did well. This was quite a feat, I have to say, as when we arrived at the airport, we learned our flight had run into a snafu and we had to change not only flights, but carriers! You can imagine the kinds of delusional rantings I would've engaged in in years past. Instead, I chalked it up as good luck that we were able to get a flight! And when I told the crew about my efforts at getting over fear of flying, they even bumped us to first class. The turbulence was pretty bad, and I did not do all that well through it, but it was short-lived, and I was still impressed that I could feel completely safe and normal even after that. Much, much progress, that's for sure. I even fell asleep on the second leg.

 

So, thank you for the program, and thanks to Lisa for assuring me I could do it, and not go absolutely insane! It was truly helpful to get a real, live person on the other end of the phone, and one who really understood and could help.

 

Thank you,



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You, Too, Can Fix The Flying Problem Now

Get started with the program that works. SOAR
was established in 1982 because no programs existed which could help
people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other
program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No
matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.



Full Length Course



We have the full length SOAR Video Course on 11 DVDs and we have the accelerated FastTrack course. The full length course provides the maximum help possible. More info by clicking here.



FastTrack



FastTrack is for you if you have a flight coming up soon, even tomorrow! It includes three hours of the most important video clips from the full length course. More FastTrack info by clicking here.

Get started now. The SOAR FastTrack program can be on your computer's screen in two minutes.

• Fast Track is inexpensive.
  


• Fast Track gives you the most help possible in the shortest time.
  


• A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
  
  


• What you pay for Fast Track is 100% transferable to the complete SOAR Course DVD or CD.

iPod Or Other Media Players

Complete a compact (about five hours) version of the SOAR Course on the go. Download it to your computer. Play it on
your computer, iPod or other media player. More info by clicking here.

Which To Choose

If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.

We
are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you
have a question or a concern.

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FAA Reportedly Took Action To Silence Its Inspectors Who Found Problems



As I have said again and again, the FAA is not a safety organization but a political tool. In an article in Business Week, we are told that FAA inspector Mark Lund found serious safety problems at Northwest Airlines in August of 2005. Instead of taking action against Northwest, the FAA reportedly took action against Lund.



The article says:



Several safety inspectors interviewed by BusinessWeek said the pressure not to impose big expenses on the carriers increased after the September 11 terrorist attacks, which threw the airline industry into an economic tailspin. They said that this led to a decrease in the reporting of safety violations. In the six-year period following September 11, 2001, the number of so-called enforcement investigation reports (EIRs) filed for the six biggest airlines fell by 62%, to 1,480, compared with the prior six-year period, according to FAA data reviewed by BusinessWeek. The number of domestic passengers grew by about 42% during this same period.



The decline in EIRs "begs for some type of congressional oversight and inquiry," says Jim Hall, former chairman of the National Transportation Safety Board. "The numbers, as they stand alone, are alarming."



See the full article at this link.

What does this mean? It means you cannot trust the government to protect you. Who, then, can you trust? You and the pilots have a common interest; to go from Point A to Point B safely.

It has long been my argument that captains need to be backed up by a union, so they cannot be fired for taking a stand on safety issues, such as refusing to fly a plane that needs maintenance. As you can see from this article, captains cannot count on the FAA to back them up.



What airlines have a union which can back up the captain on safety issues? Here are links you can use to see if an airline you are interested in has a pilots' union.



ALPA (Air Line Pilots Association, Int'l) at this link.

The American Airlines pilots' union is at this link.

The Southwest Airlines pilots' union is at this link.

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Mechanics Seek To Slow Down UAL Outsourcing



United Airlines mechanics will vote soon on whether to stay with their current union - AMFA - or switch to the Teamsters. In the past few years, the airline has been outsourcing some of its maintenance business, which has cost union mechanics jobs. 3,700 our of 9,300  mechanics have been furloughed.



We're trying to slow down the outsourcing, and we need a strong union to do it," said Rich Petrovsky, a veteran United mechanic who has led the efforts to change the union. "AMFA has allowed United to farm out work."

Full article is at this link.

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The Rubber Band Technique

The technique of wearing a rubber band on your wrist, and snapping it to inhibit an anxiety-producing thought, has been around for years. I've never taught it. The idea of teaching something that masochistic was distasteful to me. But the main reason was we had much more to offer than that. But, for anticipatory anxiety, I began thinking that perhaps the rubber band technique might have a place as a small, additional technique.



So, I asked for comments. In response, two people emailed their experience with the technique. One wrote in detail.



Before SOAR



(Note: before finding SOAR, this client tried other programs where the technique was taught) "I used the method of the rubber band snap whenever a "racing thought" would come the day of the flight. It - indeed - pulls you momentarily out of your thought circle as long as your anxiety is at a mild level. In my case, I broke a couple of rubber bands during flight, felt more isolated in my FOF as passengers seated in my vicinity would look awkward at me and ended up with a swollen/painfull hand (but you only realize that when you're back on solid ground)... "



Since SOAR



"I only used the snapping method couple of times (back in 2005).  . . .  It allowed me to shake or snap me out of my own movie. That was the physical impulse I needed to leave it. At the beginning of SOAR I had difficulty to get out of my movie. Although I was very aware I was in my own B-movie, some part of me would not allow me to leave it; it would try and convince me that my B-movie was real. I did not have the brain power to leave. I needed this physical snap of the rubber band."

 

"Nowadays, I seldom need to return to the 5-4-3-2-1 . . . and do not use the rubber band snap at all. Although anticipatory anxiety is still huge at times, one learns to recognize the effectiveness of the Strengthening Exercise. So, a couple of 5-4-3-2-1s (only) are usually enough. A rubber band snap only - momentarily- takes your thoughts away of the worrying scenes but does not calm you down. The 5-4-3-2-1 does."

Based on that, it may be that using the rubber band technique may be mildly useful until you prove to yourself you have more advanced techniques solidly build inside.

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Something New To Put In Your Strengthening Exercise Practice



An Air Canada flight from Toronto to London diverted to Shannon after the copilot suffered what appears to have been a psychotic break. The London Daily Mail says he began shouting "I need to talk to you God." He was put into restraints by other crew members, a passenger, and a member of the Canadian armed forces.



You can read the Daily Mail article at this link.



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Want A Friend  Or Family Member To Try SOAR?



Tell them to call me. I'll give them a guided tour. I'll set it up for them to view some of the videos online. That way they will know how easy it really is to get the help they need. I'm at 877 332-7359 and available from 11 AM until 7 PM Eastern (New York) Time.