The Free Group Phone Counseling Session




Free group phone counseling with Capt Tom is from 10 PM - 11 PM Eastern time Wednesday nights. You will need these new numbers.

• dial 641-527-4209

• when asked, enter Guest Code: 6337571 followed by #
  
  

After entering the Guest Code, you may get a message
that the sponsor has not yet arrived. Don't hang up. Just
wait and the system will connect you to the chat within about
fifteen seconds.

Some using Voice Over IP phones and cell phones have had trouble getting in. Keep trying, or use a different phone.



==========

==========

See The New Videos Posted on YouTube

There are currently three videos posted there. In one, a maintenance supervisor explains how planes are maintained. In another, there is an explanation of how snow and ice are dealt with.

They can be seen at this link.

==========

Were You A "Cruise Control Child?"



Current books on child development keep using the term "contingent". Why is  this important? Let's take two fictitious children, Adam and Bob.



Adam was properly fed a recommended diet at mealtimes established by his parents. He was expected to eat until his parents decided he had had a proper meal. He had lots of toys, toys provided by his parents according to the advice of experts. Adam was expected to play when his parents were busy. Adam was brought along wherever his parents went and expected to entertain himself. When his parents visited or had visitors, Adam played with their children. When Adam complained, he was told he had the best of everything and had nothing to complain about. And, if he kept it up, he would be punished.



Let's turn to Bob. Bob didn't have enough food every night. If it was time to eat, but he didn't want to eat, or eat a certain food, his parents didn't force the issue. Toys were scarce, but the toys he had were ones he asked for. Bob got to choose some of the clothing purchased for him, even if some of his choices were not entirely practical. Play dates were arranged in response to Bob's interest, and involved children Bob wanted to play with. Sometimes Bob had complaints. They were listened to, and when practical, his parents responded.



Though Bob didn't have as much as Adam had, he had something important: a voice. His parents listened to what he had to say. They heard his preferences. They considered what was important to Bob.



What Adam received was based on his parents' choices and schedule. There was no contingency. Though Adam received a lot, none of it was contingent upon Adam or Adam's preferences or requests. Though Bob received less than what Adam received - much was contingent upon Bob's preferences or in response to his requests at the time.



Adam was a cruise control child. When I drive my car, I rarely use cruise control. I want the car to respond to what I want it to do. On cruise control, I'm just along for the ride. Cruise control children are just along for the ride. Their parents control everything. They are not responded to. Their parents believe, since they know best, they simply do  their best. The child is supposed to respond to them, not visa versa.



Cruise control children don't develop as strong a sense of self as they otherwise would; they feel they can't make an impact. They can't influence anyone or anything. They don't expect to be responded to. They get the message that they are not valued.



Though Adam and Bob are fictitious, there are children whose childhood is as sterile as Adam's. Hopefully there are a lot more real children who have parents like Bob's. I would suspect that most of our childhoods were somewhere between those two extremes. But, to the degree they tended to be more like Adam's, we now have to deal with the emotional limitations linked to that kind of parenting.



How does this relate to flying? A cruise control child does not feel safe anywhere except where he or she is in control, or can escape, because he or she does not expect others to respond. That applies all situations, not just to flying.



Cruise control children are often subject to panic attacks. The ability to regulate feeling has to be taught. Cruise control children don't develop a good ability to regulate feelings because their feelings are not taken seriously, responded to, or even noticed. On the ground, this restricted ability to regulate feelings can be bolstered by maintaining control of situations (or avoiding situations which cannot be controlled), finding reassurance, and always maintaining a way out. When flying, these three things -- control, reassurance and escape -- are not available, and panic can result.



We can repair some of this damage, at least as it applies to flying. And, fortunately, some who do the SOAR Program find it generalizes to others areas of life. The Strengthening Exercise is so effective is that it taps into a moment in which you did feel responded to. We then take that moment and connect that feeling - a feeling of security - with each flight moment.



==========



Amazed At The  Transformation



Just touching base to let you know that my flights from Baltimore to Albany, NY and back last week went just fine.  I'm still amazed at the transformation in me.  The pilot on the way back was fantastic.  He was so excited to show me things and talk to me about his love of flying.  He actually had me switch some of the controls during my talk with him and go through the pre-flight check list.  It was lots of fun once I got into it.  He also kept apologizing that the flight would have some turbulence.  It's funny, I had to keep telling him that it wasn't his fault and I'd be okay.  The flight attendant came to me shortly after I took my seat and said he learned a lot from my being in the cockpit and asked the pilot why he had never explained things to him. 



One thing I have noticed upon meeting the pilots is that no two are the same, which makes lots of sense as no two people are the same.  Some are very happy and excited to talk with you, some are willing to talk with you but not quite as animated, some are methodical, and some seem like they want to talk with you but you can sense that they feel a little awkward in doing so (that's when I try to make them comfortable - go figure!). 



It might be helpful to inform fellow SOAR mates that if their experience with the pilot is not all they expected, perhaps the next time it will be.  It's fun to meet different people.



I do have a question for you.  If it's windy coming in for a landing and the plane tilts left and right, does the plane land on let's say the left tires and then the right tires land?  Is there the possibility of the plane tilting so much that its wings hit the runway and cause an accident? 



SOAR and you have been wonderful.  The plane that recently left San Juan had a problem and had to make an emergency landing is a point of interest to me.  This November my husband and I are flying to San Juan from Philadelphia.  In the past I would have been upset and think the same could very well happen on my flight.  I looked at my husband and told him that and then just said, "things happen", and let it roll off my back like anything else would.  That's a major improvement for me - a complete 180.  Today I told him I wanted to go for a plane ride.  It wasn't a destination I wanted.  I just wanted to go for a plane ride.  The same type of desire one would have for going for a drive in the country to see the scenery.  Each time I am in the air, the views are awesome.  I can't thank you enough for the new me.



Note: about the windy landing question. Though it may seem the wing could touch, it takes a tremendous amount of tilting for a wing to touch. As I recall, the last time it happened was when People's Express touched a wingtip, and even so, there is no excuse for a pilot doing that. But People's was a new airline and had some fairly inexperienced pilots at the time (back in the 1980s).



==========



You, Too, Can Fix The Flying Problem Now

Get started with the program that works. SOAR
was established in 1982 because no programs existed which could help
people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other
program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No
matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.



Full Length Course



We have the full length SOAR Video Course on 11 DVDs and we have the accelerated FastTrack course. The full length course provides the maximum help possible. More info.



FastTrack



FastTrack is for you if you have a flight coming up soon, even tomorrow! It includes three hours of the most important video clips from the full length course. More FastTrack info.

Get started now. The SOAR FastTrack program can be on your computer's screen in two minutes.

• Fast Track is inexpensive.
  


• Fast Track gives you the most help possible in the shortest time.
  


• A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
  
  


• What you pay for Fast Track is 100% transferable to the complete SOAR Course DVD or CD.

iPod Or Other Media Players

Complete a compact (about five hours) version of the SOAR Course on the go. Download it to your computer. Play it on
your computer, iPod or other media player. More info.

Which To Choose

If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.

We
are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you
have a question or a concern.

==========