Chat On Holiday Mode - Wednesday 9 PM - 11 PM Eastern Time
- The chat will be open for anyone who wants to come on and give a holiday greeting. But the chat will not be hosted due to the holidays.
- The chat is at: www.fearofflying.com/chat.shtml
No Group Phone Counseling With Capt Tom This Wednesday Due To The Holidays
- If you need help with a flight, call Capt Tom at 877-332-7359
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About Turbulence Part One
In turbulence, it feels like the plane is moving a great distance up and down. Anxious passengers often ask if it is ten or twenty feet, or hundreds of feet. It is neither; it is less than an inch. It is very hard to understand this, but if you have played croquet, you may remember a strategy called "sending your opponent". It is also called "taking a croquet stroke", or "sparking". An understanding of what happens can help you understand how less than an inch of movement by the plane can feel like far more.
During a game of croquet, if you are able to hit an opponent's ball with your ball, you are then entitled to "send your opponent". You do this by placing your ball in contact with the opponent's ball. Then, you place the sole of your shoe on top of your ball, maintaining a strong pressure on your ball, so that when you strike your ball hard with your mallet, your ball moves only a fraction of an inch, but your opponent's ball is sent several feet away.
Something similar happens in turbulence. The plane, like your ball, moves only a fraction of an inch during turbulence. Just as your ball is restricted by your foot, the plane's movement is restricted by the jello-like thickness of the air.
You as a passenger are like the opponent's ball. You are caused to move several inches even though the plane -- like your ball held underfoot -- moves only a fraction of an inch.
Because of speed, the air outside the plane is as thick to the plane as jello. But inside the plane, the air is like air you normally breath. The thick air outside restricts the plane's movement like your foot restricts your ball's movement. The plane is jolted by turbulence just as your ball is jolted when hit by your mallet. But the jolt amounts to nothing; neither your ball or the plane moves more than a fraction of an inch. Yet, the jolt causes you as a passenger, like the opponent's ball, to move a greater distance.
When watching a croquet game, if you were to observe only the opponents ball, you would see it moves ten or twenty feet. You might get the idea that whatever caused the ball to move ten or twenty feet must have moved at least that much, and might have moved more. But you would be wrong. The plane, like your ball, moves only a fraction of an inch. But that fraction of an inch transmits enough intensity to cause you - like the opponent's ball - to to be moved more.
During a game of croquet, if you are able to hit an opponent's ball with your ball, you are then entitled to "send your opponent". You do this by placing your ball in contact with the opponent's ball. Then, you place the sole of your shoe on top of your ball, maintaining a strong pressure on your ball, so that when you strike your ball hard with your mallet, your ball moves only a fraction of an inch, but your opponent's ball is sent several feet away.
Something similar happens in turbulence. The plane, like your ball, moves only a fraction of an inch during turbulence. Just as your ball is restricted by your foot, the plane's movement is restricted by the jello-like thickness of the air.
You as a passenger are like the opponent's ball. You are caused to move several inches even though the plane -- like your ball held underfoot -- moves only a fraction of an inch.
Because of speed, the air outside the plane is as thick to the plane as jello. But inside the plane, the air is like air you normally breath. The thick air outside restricts the plane's movement like your foot restricts your ball's movement. The plane is jolted by turbulence just as your ball is jolted when hit by your mallet. But the jolt amounts to nothing; neither your ball or the plane moves more than a fraction of an inch. Yet, the jolt causes you as a passenger, like the opponent's ball, to move a greater distance.
When watching a croquet game, if you were to observe only the opponents ball, you would see it moves ten or twenty feet. You might get the idea that whatever caused the ball to move ten or twenty feet must have moved at least that much, and might have moved more. But you would be wrong. The plane, like your ball, moves only a fraction of an inch. But that fraction of an inch transmits enough intensity to cause you - like the opponent's ball - to to be moved more.
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About Turbulence Part Two
To help you understand that turbulence is not in any way a safety concern, consider this. A pilot flying cargo, such as UPS or FEDEX, would not even bother to press the mike button and ask for a smoother altitude. To a pilot, turbulence simply does not matter. Pilots are so used to it that turbulence that would cause an anxious flier to be very upset would not even be noticed.
Years ago when we did live courses and took people in the course on a "graduation flight", many times I was asked "Is this turbulence dangerous"? My automatic response was, "Turbulence? WHAT Turbulence?" Not only had I not noticed it, I couldn't even notice it after being asked about it. It just did not register on my Richter Scale.
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About Turbulence Part Three
Last week I got an email from a client who said a therapist had suggested the following:
Practice sitting in the passenger seat (or back seat) of a car and close your eyes. Concentrate on feeling all the bumps and dips in the road. You don't know when they are coming and with your eyes closed, your other senses are more acute. Therefore all the bumps are "more real". This can help mimic the feeling of turbulence, thereby enabling one to practice feeling the sensation and knowing you will be just fine.
The client said this helped a lot. Please give it a try and let me know if it helps you, too.
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An Email
Tom,
I want to thank you for teaching me how to get my life back. I'm just 30 and after a very bad flight 5 years ago, I have let my fear of flying torture me to toward an ulcer, public humiliation, and work/martial friction.
After "the flight", I avoided flying at all costs. I was very young in a good career and so when I absolutely had to fly...I can't begin to describe the experience. Two weeks before, the fret and fear and dread set in. At the airport, it was like this ritualistic death march - I was obsessed with "sitting up front" (less turbulent so someone said) and not having to sit on the runway. Then the flight. Every bump. Surely this will lead to death. Oh my gosh. Near tears, sweating, eyes closed.
I turned down several fun trips because I couldn't deal with. It was far less stressful to skip the fun than to take the plane. Then a really really neat opportunity came up at my job that required a cross-country flight (multiple legs...like entire day of flying). I couldn't say no (and keep my status and responsibilities) and after two legs of shaking and sweating, they canceled the third leg for bad weather. I rented a car and drove through the night in a really really bad storm just to avoid that third flight.
It was that trip I bought the "Control of Anxiety" DVDs. I was in a hotel room and didn't know it at the time, but I was working on a tremendous ulcer. I downloaded your shorter version and watched. Jello. Jello. Jello. When I finally made it home from that trip, I think I aged myself 10 years. I put the actual DVDs on a shelf and it sounds silly, but I couldn't watch them. That would make me think about flying.
A few months ago, our frequent flier miles were about to expire and I know I was a source of grief for my husband who really wanted to use them since he'd been saving them for a round trip for both of us for years. We wanted to go across the country and I felt I couldn't say no. And the worst part was that the other side of that stupid airplane was a spectacular trip and yet...all that consumed me was that stupid stupid plane. Anyway, couldn't really say no.
Leading up to the trip I was a mess. We had a knot in the plans and I was ready to abandon it all. Just lose the money and the points and scrap it. I felt it would be so hard on my husband (and pretty unfair - he was like a gigantic happy puppy dog about the trip and here's me- the scared rain-cloud beating him up about canceling because of the most insignificant thing). I was clearly over the edge and knew it and that's when I remembered you. I couldn't watch the DVDs. I couldn't. I found your website again and you were so kind...you setup a time with me before my flight to talk on the phone.
So we talked and you told me about turbulence and maintenance. And then you told me something that absolutely floored me - something about receiving (or not) consistent responses to things. That conversation you had with me really made sense and I realized after all these years, I had thought the deal was conquering the HOW. I never once contemplated the WHY (because it was that just that one bad flight, right?).
You also reminded me that the Strengthening Exercise is meant to be repeated and practiced...so I did that as much as could for my flight that was now just a day away. You also told me to imagine Homer Simpson in turbulence and then a special moment that was supposed to supply automatic calming. I will confess. I rolled my eyes.
So I got on the plane. I told myself that there would be turbulence. A lot of it. I told myself there were be bumps taking off. A lot of them. That's how it works. That isn't atypical. I thought of jello and moved into full fledged Homer Simpson (without the eye rolling this time) special moment exercise.
The flight didn't stink. I got off and made my connection. It was bumpy. I did the exercises long before the bumps started. That flight didn't stink either. I wasn't exactly excited about repeating the procedure, but I sure didn't feel like I had shortened my life as a result of it.
The return flight really didn't stink. The turbulence hadn't gone away and boy...the noise and so forth hadn't either...we were over the wings...but it was OK. I repeated the exercises and didn't get to that out-of-mind panic like before...the plane was just fine with all the turbulence. We even had a mechanical delay on a connecting flight. That wouldn't have sent me driving before, but it didn't. I was OK. Not looking forward to, but OK. Up in the air, it turns out the mechanical "disaster" was a bathroom light. Like "ding! empty!".
But the nicest part isn't about this flight. It's about the next one. I had another super opportunity at work. Cross-country again, but this time...about 20 hours of flying over very short period...many legs. I had no control over seats, which planes, even which airline. It was last minute so all the seats were in the back of the plane or wings.
So I'm writing to tell you that was the best flying of my life. Hours and hours, turbulence galore, that uppy downy motion the wings makes, the "falling from the sky" that really doesn't even move your water glass, and commuter jets smaller than SUVs...and it was fine. I sat by my co-workers (something I would normally go to great lengths to avoid). I actually listened to an audio book (would have never happened before - must concentrate on bumps and noise and certain death...) for most of the trip. I didn't plan a complex strategy of pre-flight consumption or front-seat-a-palooza. I just got on, worked on my exercises, and realized that I am really OK and that all those things I feared are a part of the flight, not a sign of danger.
I went on your site last night to find your address and saw you have a video on the WHY part of the problem. I didn't even realize this. I'm getting myself a Christmas present so I can continue my progress.
Thank you again for speaking with me and everything else,
I want to thank you for teaching me how to get my life back. I'm just 30 and after a very bad flight 5 years ago, I have let my fear of flying torture me to toward an ulcer, public humiliation, and work/martial friction.
After "the flight", I avoided flying at all costs. I was very young in a good career and so when I absolutely had to fly...I can't begin to describe the experience. Two weeks before, the fret and fear and dread set in. At the airport, it was like this ritualistic death march - I was obsessed with "sitting up front" (less turbulent so someone said) and not having to sit on the runway. Then the flight. Every bump. Surely this will lead to death. Oh my gosh. Near tears, sweating, eyes closed.
I turned down several fun trips because I couldn't deal with. It was far less stressful to skip the fun than to take the plane. Then a really really neat opportunity came up at my job that required a cross-country flight (multiple legs...like entire day of flying). I couldn't say no (and keep my status and responsibilities) and after two legs of shaking and sweating, they canceled the third leg for bad weather. I rented a car and drove through the night in a really really bad storm just to avoid that third flight.
It was that trip I bought the "Control of Anxiety" DVDs. I was in a hotel room and didn't know it at the time, but I was working on a tremendous ulcer. I downloaded your shorter version and watched. Jello. Jello. Jello. When I finally made it home from that trip, I think I aged myself 10 years. I put the actual DVDs on a shelf and it sounds silly, but I couldn't watch them. That would make me think about flying.
A few months ago, our frequent flier miles were about to expire and I know I was a source of grief for my husband who really wanted to use them since he'd been saving them for a round trip for both of us for years. We wanted to go across the country and I felt I couldn't say no. And the worst part was that the other side of that stupid airplane was a spectacular trip and yet...all that consumed me was that stupid stupid plane. Anyway, couldn't really say no.
Leading up to the trip I was a mess. We had a knot in the plans and I was ready to abandon it all. Just lose the money and the points and scrap it. I felt it would be so hard on my husband (and pretty unfair - he was like a gigantic happy puppy dog about the trip and here's me- the scared rain-cloud beating him up about canceling because of the most insignificant thing). I was clearly over the edge and knew it and that's when I remembered you. I couldn't watch the DVDs. I couldn't. I found your website again and you were so kind...you setup a time with me before my flight to talk on the phone.
So we talked and you told me about turbulence and maintenance. And then you told me something that absolutely floored me - something about receiving (or not) consistent responses to things. That conversation you had with me really made sense and I realized after all these years, I had thought the deal was conquering the HOW. I never once contemplated the WHY (because it was that just that one bad flight, right?).
You also reminded me that the Strengthening Exercise is meant to be repeated and practiced...so I did that as much as could for my flight that was now just a day away. You also told me to imagine Homer Simpson in turbulence and then a special moment that was supposed to supply automatic calming. I will confess. I rolled my eyes.
So I got on the plane. I told myself that there would be turbulence. A lot of it. I told myself there were be bumps taking off. A lot of them. That's how it works. That isn't atypical. I thought of jello and moved into full fledged Homer Simpson (without the eye rolling this time) special moment exercise.
The flight didn't stink. I got off and made my connection. It was bumpy. I did the exercises long before the bumps started. That flight didn't stink either. I wasn't exactly excited about repeating the procedure, but I sure didn't feel like I had shortened my life as a result of it.
The return flight really didn't stink. The turbulence hadn't gone away and boy...the noise and so forth hadn't either...we were over the wings...but it was OK. I repeated the exercises and didn't get to that out-of-mind panic like before...the plane was just fine with all the turbulence. We even had a mechanical delay on a connecting flight. That wouldn't have sent me driving before, but it didn't. I was OK. Not looking forward to, but OK. Up in the air, it turns out the mechanical "disaster" was a bathroom light. Like "ding! empty!".
But the nicest part isn't about this flight. It's about the next one. I had another super opportunity at work. Cross-country again, but this time...about 20 hours of flying over very short period...many legs. I had no control over seats, which planes, even which airline. It was last minute so all the seats were in the back of the plane or wings.
So I'm writing to tell you that was the best flying of my life. Hours and hours, turbulence galore, that uppy downy motion the wings makes, the "falling from the sky" that really doesn't even move your water glass, and commuter jets smaller than SUVs...and it was fine. I sat by my co-workers (something I would normally go to great lengths to avoid). I actually listened to an audio book (would have never happened before - must concentrate on bumps and noise and certain death...) for most of the trip. I didn't plan a complex strategy of pre-flight consumption or front-seat-a-palooza. I just got on, worked on my exercises, and realized that I am really OK and that all those things I feared are a part of the flight, not a sign of danger.
I went on your site last night to find your address and saw you have a video on the WHY part of the problem. I didn't even realize this. I'm getting myself a Christmas present so I can continue my progress.
Thank you again for speaking with me and everything else,
==========
Dealing With Panic On The Ground
I applied the 5-4-3-2-1 technique during a full blown panic attack recently and it actually worked. When I have a panic attack not only does it feel like my brain and heart are going to explode but also my tongue and jaw seize up and it's very painful. I had a full blown panic attack Thanksgiving evening and managed to get myself home and to bed, but it wasn't easing up and it was very painful for over an hour. Finally I got into the tub and started doing the 5-4-3-2-1. I had to go through it twice, but towards the end of the second time the attack subsided, to my tremendous relief.
I was so, so glad I had learned the technique and thought to apply it, I didn't know what I was going to do when it was still going on after an hour, and something made me think of it and I tried it and it worked! Thank you so much for teaching me this tool, from now on I'll use it right away rather than waiting for so long to try it.
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
I was so, so glad I had learned the technique and thought to apply it, I didn't know what I was going to do when it was still going on after an hour, and something made me think of it and I tried it and it worked! Thank you so much for teaching me this tool, from now on I'll use it right away rather than waiting for so long to try it.
I don't get panic attacks very often, only about 3 - 5 times a year. They usually go away sooner than this last one did, and on their own, but this last one was a stubborn one. Thank goodness for 5-4-3-2-1!
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"The Tools I Need To Travel Relatively Comfortably"
As I got older, realized my mortality, and watched more sensational movies, I became afraid to fly. I could always do it, but it was not pleasant...at all. I started to annoy my travel companions, and I didn't want to stop traveling (I am an avid SCUBA diver and live in the middle of Texas), so I started reading books and researching relaxation methods to help myself cope with the fear. I stumbled across your course, took it seriously, and it has worked for me.
I have to practice the strengthening exercise before every flight and still use 5-4-3-2-1 for anticipatory anxiety every time, so I guess you could say I am not "cured", but am a "recovering" fearful flier. Now I have the tools I need to travel relatively comfortably.
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Call So I Can Help You Understand Why SOAR Will Work For You
SOAR was established in 1982 because no programs existed that could help people with moderate to severe difficulties. Even today, no other program offers help that is effective except for mild difficulties. No matter how difficult flying is for you, we can help.
- Call me at 877 332-7359 between 10 AM and 6 PM Eastern time or
- Set up a time online at http://soar.genbook.com
- No Charge. No Obligation. Just get the information you want.
Or Enroll Right Now And Get This Over With
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
You will feel better as soon as you make the decision.
- The full length SOAR Video Course on 11 DVDs provides the maximum help possible.
- More info.
- Accelerated courses give you the most help possible in the time you have available.
- A twenty-minute private session and unlimited group counseling sessions are included.
- What you pay is 100% transferable to the SOAR Video Course 11 DVDs.
Start viewing on your computer screen in two minutes.
- Get a compact version of the SOAR Course.
- Load it on your laptop, iPod or other media player. More info.
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Unsure Which To Choose
If you are unsure which is best for you, please call me at 877 332-7359 so we can talk it over. You will feel better as soon as you decide to act.
We are always here to help. As you go through the program, call or email whenever you have a question or a concern.
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Discuss Or Schedule An Individual Session -- Call 877 332-7359
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
Call between 11 AM and 6 PM Eastern Time (same time zone as New York)
You'll reach me easily. The toll-free number rings my cell phone.
- find out how I can help you with flying
- discuss the possibility of a counseling session
- set up a time that fits your schedule
Outside the U.S. and Canada call 203 258-4803
- a twenty-minute session is $60.00 if not enrolled in a course.
- one twenty-minute session is free if enrolled in any course.
- additional twenty-minute sessions are $60.00.
- two one-hour sessions are included in the SOAR Guaranteed Program
Schedule An Individual Session Online
Note: Times Listed Are Eastern Time (same as New York)
