Anticipatory Anxiety Indicates Nothing About How The Flight Will Be
No matter how much anticipatory anxiety you have, it indicates nothing about feelings during a flight. Here's why.
Holding a baseball in your left hand, toss it up, and catch it with your right hand, and toss it back to the left hand. This is like anticipatory anxiety where you just toss thoughts back and forth.
But during a game, it is different. The pitcher is on the mound. You are the catcher behind home plate. The pitcher throws the ball. The bat -- like the Strengthening Exercise -- hits the ball before it can reach you.
In anticipatory anxiety, you play both roles: pitcher and catcher. You pitch the thoughts; you catch the thoughts. No bat is involved.
In flight anxiety, thoughts are like a ball thrown by someone else: the pitcher. You are still the catcher. But the bat (the Strengthening Exercise) hits the ball (the thought) before it reaches you.
The ball never gets to you because of the bat. The anxiety never gets to you because of the Strengthening Exercise.
But in anticipatory anxiety, the thought -- like the ball you toss from one hand to the other, is always with you. And with you, it causes anxiety. You toss "what if" thoughts back and forth within yourself. You pitch the thoughts. You catch the thoughts. There is no bat to stop this from going on and on. The anxiety goes on and on as long as you toss the thoughts to yourself.
You start it yourself. Why not stop it yourself? You have absolute control over this. You can totally stop anticipatory anxiety with the 5-4-3-2-1. But you hesitate to use it. Why? Is it because you want the anxiety to go away on its own, in order to reassure yourself that it will go away on its own during the flight?
You are trying to test what will happen during the flight. It can't be tested this way. The Strengthening Exercise is for thoughts tossed at you -- not thoughts you toss at yourself. When you do this, it is like Yogi Berra said, "I made a wrong mistake."
The flight is like the game. The thoughts are like the ball. Once the game begins, all the pitches originate with someone else, the pitcher. When the flight begins, all the thoughts originate from somewhere else, what is going on on the plane.
When thoughts get pitched at you, but you don't get anxiety because the Strengthening Exercise -- like a bat -- knocks them away before it reaches you.
If you get any anxiety during the flight, it won't be flight anxiety. It will just be anticipatory anxiety all over again, as you pitch thoughts to yourself about what might happen later.
In other words, you can have anticipatory anxiety during a flight. As Yogi said, "This is like deja vu all over again."
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Web Archive
Our web site designer, Andrew Holley, emailed me about a non-profit organization that archives old web sites. Click here to see what the SOAR site looked like a few years ago.
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Economy Passengers Can Use The First Class Toilet On AA
American Airlines has announced it will allow passengers in all areas of the plane to use the lavatory in first class. A spokesperson for the airline said it was difficult to explain to customers sitting in the forward section of coach -- just a few feet away from the first class lav -- why they couldn't use that rarely used lav, and had to walk to back of the plane to line up to use one there.
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The Anatomy Of Fear
Allen Shawn has a new book about agoraphobia titled "Wish I Could Be There", Notes From a Phobic Life. You can read a review of it by clicking here. My comments on the review are also available there. Look at the bottom and click on "bletters". But I'll paste it here as well.
It is not surprising that D.T. Max believes phobia cannot be cured. I began working for people who were phobic about flying in 1980. It was distressing to see phobics in our flying course at Pan Am who, during the "graduation flight" did exactly what we taught them, and got no relief at all.
This set me on a quest to find something that would work. While still an airline captain, I completed grad school, and post graduate study at three different institutes in the New York area, always looking for something that would work. I didn't find it.
At least not until simply happening upon something that did work. But why it worked was not clear until 2000 when functional MRI research by Allan Schore and others showed that the infant is soothed by a visually communicated empathic connection with the mother, or other caretaker.
We now can cure phobia by connecting each element of the phobia to vivid recall of a moment in which the person experienced an empathic connection with another person.
Treatment only becomes difficult when the person's life has been so emotionally isolated that the person, initially, can find no moment of empathic connectedness at any time in his or her life.
The reason this treatment is so effective is that we are born with an instinct to connect. When the infant connects with the mother, profound calming results.
Though the client will not remember such early moments of profound calming, once we find a later one that is remembered, this powerful calming can be associated with the things that trigger a phobic response.
Association between the two is established behaviorally. Once established, there is a neural link between what once triggered a phobic response and the powerful calming of vivid recall of a moment of empathic connectedness.
In the past several years, using this treatment for flight anxiety and phobia, I have found not one case which could not be effectively treated by tapping into this powerful instinctive source of calming.
Thomas C Bunn LCSW
Another review is available by clicking here.
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Every Week, We Publish Proof That Phobia Can Be Cured
Dear Tom,
I'm writing this at Heathrow having just landed from yet another enjoyable overseas holiday - Italy - with lovely views from window seats both ways. I can't begin to find enough grateful words to thank you for the window on the world that you and SOAR have given me now that I no longer Fear to Fly.
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Now I Want My Own "Ultralight"
Tom,
I hesitated writing you because its just a repeat of what everyone else has said who has taken your online course!
I got rid of a 40 year old phobia in 2 hours! I still can't believe it.
I have gone from 'terrified to fly,' to 'love to fly'.
Thank you sooooo much. And I love that I get your newsletter.
I am almost done reading "Wings of Discovery."
Now, I want my own "ultralight."
Thanks,
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Another Report On "Fast Track"
Thanks Tom!
I did the fast track and my flights to Costa Rica were great a few weeks ago
thanks to your program!
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Want To Fly Comfortably But Believe Nothing Will Work For You?
Believe it or not, everything you need for complete success is available by clicking here
Think nothing will help? Most people who start -- and succeed -- feel that way when they start. It is just that they have the 'whatever-it-is' to try even if they are not sure of success. What about you?
- SOAR is not just another fear of flying program offering relaxation and reassurance
- SOAR is advanced help and succeeds with the most extreme cases of flight anxiety
- SOAR was developed through twenty-five years of research, study, and experience
Which Way Fits You Best?
- The Guaranteed SOAR Video Course on DVD
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- The Guaranteed SOAR Audio Course on CD
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- Hear lessons on the web site - or download them to your computer or iPod
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Complete and comprehensive. Ten DVDs (appx. ten hours). View it on the internet as soon as you place your order. Your DVDs are shipped to your door by FEDEX or Priority Mail.
To see guarantee and order, click here.
All the same information as in the video course, but in a format you can use 'on the go', commuting in your car, or downloaded to your iPod.
Also click here to reach the SOAR Store.
The same complete information as in the Video Course but condensed into five hours of audio. Plus one important extra: 'Take Me Along' audio tracks to use during the flight.
I'll explain everything that is happening - as it happens - so you will know everything is normal on the flight.
See guarantee and order here: Read More Now!
- A Counseling Session
A session customized to your exact needs. I'm both an airline captain and a licensed therapist. I can help you based on success with over six-thousand clients in the past twenty-five years. The fee for a twenty-minute session covering the basics is $60.00, payable by MasterCard, Visa or American Express. Everything can be covered in forty to sixty minutes (fee prorated to time used).
Available 10 AM to 7 PM Eastern (New York) time. Outside the U.S. or Canada call: 203-258-4803.
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Get relief now. You will feel better as soon as you get started by clicking here.
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Wednesday Night Conference Call On Flight Anxiety
- 9:00 PM until 10:00 PM Eastern time
Join our regular 'chat' (where we type what we want to say).
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Join in by phone on a conference call dealing with flight anxiety.
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- 1. Dial 1-641-793-7500
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For Your Convenience The Following Info Is Also Displayed Where You Enter The Chat At:
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