Free Will

There has been increased recent attention in the question philosophers struggled with two-thousand years ago: do humans have 'free will'? Interest in the question has been renewed by psychological tests that have been recently devised which show that, in many cases, people behave in a certain way before they are aware of what they are going to do. Yet, they believe they consciously chose that behavior.

When considering how feelings of fear develop, it is striking that the amygdala causes the feeling of fear by releasing adrenalin before there is any conscious awareness of danger. Most of us would say that we are aware of danger, and then feel it. But it is the other way around. Think of times which you felt your hair stand on end, and then you realized what it was about.

It is so important to realize that the feelings which can prevent us from flying are feelings that develop from the unconscious operation of the amygdala. Why? Because knowing the feelings come before we know what is going on should make it obvious that any rational approach to dealing with fear of flying is going to be 'a day late and a dollar short'. By the time we are aware of what is causing fear, the fear has already been caused.

Still, just one such thought isn't going to do much damage. And people who have one thought, such as, 'What if the wings fall off', are not going to suffer from high anxiety. It is, rather, people who have that thought, quickly followed by 'What if the pilot is drunk' and then by 'What if I panic' who have trouble with flying.

But all those thoughts trigger the amygdala while the thought is in the process of being formed. The stress hormones are released before the thought is conscious. Trying to deal with fear of flying through reason just isn't going to work.

That is why courses which try to reassure you that flying is safe, give you statistics, even tell you about back up systems, etc., still are not going to do the job.

That is why, even if you know turbulence is not a safety problem, you still can get a shot of stress hormones when you feel the plane move downward, even for a fraction of a second.

In the SOAR Course, we do teach you how flying works, but it is not because knowing that will stop anxiety; it won't. Understanding how sound aviation is does give you a sort of 'permission' to do the exercise that changes the automatic reaction. To explain what I mean, I could say to you, 'I don't want to get rid of my fear of Russian Roulette, or even or motorcycles.'

But first, you really need to know how and why flying is safe to be free to get rid of the fear. Not knowing how and why flying is safe can block 'free will'.

But back to the question of 'free will'. Apparently, more than we realize, we live on 'autopilot'. There are many things we do which we think we do intentionally and thoughtfully which we simply do automatically or randomly. Then, after doing them, believe we acted intentionally and thoughtfully.

Perhaps this explains why change is so difficult. But how is change possible? If we can actually look within and see the steps in the process -- like dominos in a row where the falling of one domino causes the next to fall, which causes the next to fall, and so forth -- if we can find a conscious thought which is like a domino, and then if we can find a way to be aware of the process quickly enough to pull that domino out of the sequence, we can produce change.

But we also know that the dominos may be -- as with flight anxiety -- 'falling' in an area where they cannot be seen. How can change be accomplished?

Well, someone has to study both what is going on consciously and what is going on unconsciously and find a domino that can be changed, either by making the unconscious process conscious, or making a change in the unconscious process.

Since we know (in dealing with flight anxiety) that high anxiety is caused by unconscious process, we have to change unconscious process to get rid of the anxiety. This is where the Strengthening Exercise comes in. We find a moment -- consciously -- which is connected with strong soothing influences, a moment of empathic connectedness with another person. We bring to mind -- consciously -- a scene from flying, so that the strong soothing influence of empathic connectedness becomes associated with the scene from flying.

How does this change unconscious processes? While we go through these steps consciously and deliberately, the unconscious mind is watching. And when we cause the steps of the exercise to happen several times, the unconscious mind memorizes what we are doing consciously. Then, the unconscious mind, having memorized the sequence, can do the sequence on its own. That produces the change.

It is just as simple as learning to drive a stick shift, or to hit a tennis ball. You do it consciously several times, each time carefully the same way, so the unconscious mind can memorize the sequence. Soon, you are shifting without a thought, or, at least without a conscious one.

Flying can be like that, too.

But now the question arises, do you have 'free will' enough to get rid of your fear of flying? Does fear stop you? If it does, you probably have several 'reasons' why flying isn't safe. If it does, moreover, you probably believe you have 'free will' and are choosing not to fly for sound and logical reasons.

If you believe you have sound and logical reasons to not fly, I can only hope you will use this article to examine the possibility that your 'free will' is somehow being limited by (unconsciously caused) emotion.

An article on this in Tuesday's New York Times closes by quoting writer Isaac Bashevis Singer once said, 'The greatest gift which humanity has received is free choice. It is true that we are limited in our use of free choice. But the little free choice we have is such a great gift and is potentially worth so much that for this itself, life is worthwhile living.'

And if your 'free will' is working fine already and you are ready to change the unconscious processes that get in the way of your will to fly, , everything you need to get started is just a 'click' away. Just click here to begin.

==========

Mentalization

This term is the latest big thing in psychoanalytic psychotherapy. It means nothing more than mental awareness of mental process.

It is important. Why?

Because, according to the big guns in the mentalization movement, their research shows that most people who are in prison do not mentalize. They don't know anything about their internal mental processes. In fact, they don't know anything about anyone having internal mental process which can be observed.

As a result, they discover what they are going to do just after they have done it!

The same thing is true for many people who have panic attacks. For some, what 'triggers' panic is identified. But to others, panic attacks come 'out of the nowhere'.

Panic attacks are the result of mental processes. The only reason some persons experience panic as coming out of nowhere is that they don't mentalize.

The Adult Attachment Interview (AAI) of an adult can determine with 87% accuracy whether or not that person's children are 'securely attached'. The AAI can even indicate whether a person who does not yet have children will have children who are 'securely attached' or not.

What is the AAI about? Mentalization. An adult who does not mentalize cannot produce a secure child.

When we consider that most -- if not all -- who have anxiety issues are 'insecurely attached', we could be on fairly safe ground to say that the parents of people who have anxiety issues don't mentalize, or at least they didn't mentalize when their children were at a formative age.

If you have anxiety issues and do not yet have children, you can give your children a great gift by getting into therapy before you have them in order to develop the ability to mentalize enough that you do not pass anxiety issues on to your children.

If you don't mentalize, you will cause them to have anxiety issues.

So many people tell me they don't want their children to know about their fears. They don't want to 'pass them on' to their children. It is not about whether you hide your phobia or not. It is about whether or not you have enough 'free will' to respond to them in a profoundly empathic and truly human way, instead of as simply as a 'stimulus-response' unit.

==========

Freed To Make Timely Use Of What He Learned In SOAR

Greetings Tom,

Just wanted to share my most recent flying experience, as I just got back from Palm Desert (east of LA) covering President Ford's west coast funeral for the networks. 

It was a short notice trip, and the flight was only an hour each way, but has been really windy here in California the last few days which raised some concerns.  So much so,  that they closed Interstate 5 over the Grapevine.  The flight down was uneventful however until the final approach to Ontario, CA, when it got pretty bumpy. 

The lessons learned with the SOAR flight anxiety DVDs kicked in and it was dealt with easily and before I knew it we were on the ground safely.  The flight home was one of the smoothest I've ever experienced.  After many years of not flying, it's a real pleasure to know I can just jump on a plane and go on a vacation, or as was the case here, make some extra money that wouldn't be available otherwise. 

Again, thanks so much for all you do...

==========

Wednesday Night Conference Call On Flight Anxiety

9:00 PM until 10:00 PM Eastern time

Join our regular 'chat' (where we type what we want to say).


10:00 PM until 11:00 PM Eastern time

Join in by phone on a conference call dealing with flight anxiety.

Instead of typing, we can just talk.

• Listen in to the discussion.
  
• Take part in the discussion.
  
• It's your choice.

Want to know more about:

• How flying works
  
• Turbulence, and why it is not a threat
  
• Controlling anxiety, panic and claustrophobia
  

• Eastern Time: 10 PM until 11 PM
  
• Central Time: 9 PM until 10 PM
  
• Mountain Time: 8 PM until 9 PM
  
• Pacific Time: 7 PM until 8 PM
  
  

• 1. Dial 1-641-793-7500
  
• 2. You will hear, 'Thank you for calling the Conference Center.'
  
• 3. When asked, enter this pin code: 681956 followed by #

For Your Convenience The Following Info Is Also Displayed Where You Enter The Chat At:
http://www.fearofflying.com/chat.shtml

==========

Need More Help Than Meds Provide?

Nothing in the medicine chest works as well as what's in the SOAR 'tool box': 'The Strengthening Exercise'.

• Full Strength.
  
• Flight Tested By Thousands.

Seriously though, what we have developed provides far more help than any anti-anxiety medication can -- and does so automatically.

• SOAR is not just another fear of flying program offering relaxation and reassurance
  
• SOAR is advanced help and succeeds with the most extreme cases of flight anxiety
  
• SOAR was developed through twenty-five years of research, study, and experience

Which Way Fits You Best?

• The Guaranteed SOAR Video Course on DVD

  
  
  Complete and comprehensive. Ten DVDs (appx. ten hours). View it on the internet as soon as you place your order. Your DVDs are shipped to your door by FEDEX or Priority Mail.

  
  
  

  • Learn the cause and how to fix it in 'Psychology of Flight Anxiety'
    
  • Understand amazing backup systems that make flying safe in 'How Flying Works'
    
  • Get automatic control of the feelings when you fly with 'Control of Anxiety'
    
  • Take a virtual test flight of your new skills in 'At The Airport'

  
  
  To see guarantee and order, click here.

  
  
  

• The Guaranteed SOAR Audio Course on CD

  
  
  All the same information as in the video course, but in a format you can use 'on the go', commuting in your car, or downloaded to your iPod.

  
  
  Also click here to reach the SOAR Store.

  
  
  
  

• The Guaranteed SOAR Audio Course on MP3

  
  
  The same complete information as in the Video Course but condensed into five hours of audio. Plus one important extra: 'Take Me Along' audio tracks to use during the flight.

  
  
  

  • Hear lessons on the web site - or download them to your computer or iPod
    
  • Download the 'Take Me Along' audio tracks to your iPod or laptop
    
  • It's like having your own pilot sitting there with you
    

  
  
  I'll explain everything that is happening - as it happens - so you will know everything is normal on the flight.

  
  
  
  See guarantee and order here: Read More Now!

• A Counseling Session

  
  
  

  A session customized to your exact needs. I'm both an airline captain and a licensed therapist. I can help you based on success with over six-thousand clients in the past twenty-five years. The fee for a twenty-minute session covering the basics is $60.00, payable by MasterCard, Visa or American Express. Everything can be covered in forty to sixty minutes (fee prorated to time used).

  
  
  
  Available 10 AM to 7 PM Eastern (New York) time. Outside the U.S. or Canada call: 203-258-4803.

Not Ready To Order The Entire Program?

At least learn 'The Strengthening Exercise'. Order 'The Control of Anxiety' ($195.00 on video; $49.95 on audio) by clicking here.