It Seems Impossible For Some To Accept They Are Wrong About Turbulence
So what could be the reason? Imagination? If so, why does imagination trump reality when every piece of information says turbulence is not a threat?
Why does imagination rule? I think it has to do with 'poor reality-testing'. If you see something and feel something, you are sure it is real. That is good reality-testing.
When you see something in your mind's eye (imagination) and you feel the results of stress hormones physically, if you are sure it is real, that is bad reality-testing.
There are two chances to know you are wrong:
1. Can you tell when you are seeing something in reality or seeing something in imagination? Can you be mindful enough to determine that imagination is, in fact, imagination and not real?
2. Can you be mindful that physical feelings produced by stress hormones are feelings from inside. If the thing you are imagining were actually taking place, the feelings you would get would come from outside.
The feelings you get via imagination do not correspond with the feelings you get via reality.
Examples:
You imagine the plane is falling, and feel rapid heartbeat. That is not a feeling that comes from falling. In a genuine emergency, your attention is outside, not inside. And, if you get any evevated heart rate, it is not pronounced enough for you to be aware of it.
The physical feeling you -- or anyone -- would get when falling is NOT the feeling of rapid heartbeat, but weightlessness.
Or, you imagine the plane is falling and you feel tension in your body. That is not the the physical feeling anyone gets when falling. When falling, people go limp. Then, just before hitting, if possible, you use muscles to break your fall. But it is the limpness that often prevents injury.
Again, tension in the body is not a response to falling. Instead, again, you would feel the freedom of weightlessness.
Or, you imagine the plane is falling and feel unable to breathe. Again, when actually falling -- instead of imagining falling -- difficulty breathing does not take place.
Nor is the feeling of being sweaty or cold and clammy the feeling of falling.
None of those physical feelings confirm that the plane is falling. None correspond with the physical sensations presence when falling. And yet, these feelings are used to 'prove' that the (imagined) falling is real.
Why does imagination have such power, more power than reason or reality? Could it be part of our attempt to be in control?
Is It Connected With No Longer Knowing How To Pretend
Remember when you were a kid and played 'pretend'? One kid would say to another, 'Let's play pretend.' And then the question was, shall we leave the real world and enter the world of pretend, or shall we play in the real world. We might say, 'No, let's play baseball.' Or, 'No, let's go ride our bikes.' But if there wasn't anything interesting enough in the real world to do, we would say, 'OK, what shall we pretend?' That seems to be the only time kids use the word 'shall'.
It was easy to know whether what you were pretending was real or not. We never lost track of what was 'real' and what was 'pretend' when we were kids. Why do have have trouble knowing the difference now?
Did we lose the ability to know the difference between real and pretend? When you examine it, imagination is nothing more than 'playing pretend'. It is 'pretend thinking'.
Perhaps we lost the ability to pretend when life became too serious. Perhaps, confronting the seriousness of life, pretending stopped being fun.
Maybe this will help. The next time you begin feeling anxious about flying (or anything), ask yourself to pretend that what you are imagining is true. If you intentially pretend, you easily can tell the difference between that and reality.
Then stop pretending. Imagine that what you imagine is really true, and see if you can still tell the difference or not. I believe that by pushing what you imagine over into intentional pretending, the difference between your 'pretend thinking' and reality will be clear.
Next time you fly, ask yourself, 'Shall I pretend, or not?' If you make it a conscious decision, you'll find it easier to know what is -- and what isn't -- real?'
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'The Whole Experience Gave Me Quite A High'
Dear Tom,
I wanted to give you a report on how my roundtrip from JFK to Fort Myers went, and thank you for talking with me on the phone last Thursday.
I was so anxious before my flight on Friday that I lost four pounds in three days. I had been practicing the strengthening exercise, but because I am somewhat timid and don't like to bother people, the idea of braving the gauntlet of airline employees was terribly intimidating. In fact, my husband told me I would never do it. But I realized I had to do something to make the flight bearable. And guess what--the gate agent and flight attendants were delighted to help me. It was no problem whatsoever getting to speak with the captain. He was very friendly and relaxed; we talked briefly about the weather and flying conditions. As I was departing the plane after we had landed, both he and the flight attendant asked me how the flight had been. The whole experience gave me quite a high.
Last Thursday I had asked you about taking off in the rain, and in fact it was raining lightly when we took off, so your words of reassurance were very helpful.
I can't say that I was as relaxed during the flight as I would have been on a train; in particular my legs kept tensing. But I felt much safer and calmer than in the past; and my stomach, which had been bothering me so much before the flight, felt fine.
The anticipatory anxiety was definitely less before Monday's return flight. I did not ask to speak to the pilot that time, and was jumpy at first during the flight, but then settled down pretty well.
Thank you again for all your help and advice. I have another flight in two months and hopefully my anxiety will continue to lessen.
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About Being Ready For Change
I've been planning to lose five pounds. So, when I saw an article in the paper today about losing weight, I took a look. And I learned something. I wasn't ready.
The article included the following questions, to be answered 'very', 'sort of' or 'no/not very'.
- How concerned am I about my weight?
- How much do I want to do something about my weight right now?
- How confident am I that I can do something about my weight?
- Do I think I can do something about the things that are getting in my way?
- How ready am I to change my eating habits?
- How ready am I to become more physically active?
- Is my family ready to support me in my efforts?
So, I'm now challenging you with the same questions about changing how it feels when you fly.
- How concerned am I about my inability to fly like other people?
- How much do I want to do something about my ability to fly comfortably right now?
- How confident am I that I can do something to change how I feel when I fly, or even think about flying?
- Do I think I can do something about the things that are stopping me from learning what I need to learn to fly OK?
- How ready am I to change how I think and how I feel about flying?
- How ready am I to get help instead of doing what I'm doing?
- Is my family ready to support me in the independence flying would mean?
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If You Are Ready, Everything You Need Available By Clicking Here
Even if you believe nothing will help, that doesn't need to stop you. Most people who start -- and succeed -- feel that way when they start. It is just that they have the 'whatever-it-is' to try even if they are not sure of success. What about you?
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Not Ready To Order The Entire Program?
At least learn 'The Strengthening Exercise'. Order 'The Control of Anxiety' ($195.00 on video; $49.95 on audio) by clicking here.
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Safety Statistics
For an article on current programs to increase safety, and a graph that shows how flying has become safer, click here.
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Wednesday Night Conference Call On Flight Anxiety
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