STARTING SOON - MONTHLY TELECONFERENCES ON
OVERCOMING FLIGHT ANXIETY

I'll be sending you an email shortly about this new development. Once
a month - if you join - we will get together on a group phone call to provide
advanced help for dealing with flight difficulties.

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WHAT A DIFFERENCE AN HOUR MAKES

Hi Capt. Bunn,

I'm still enjoying all the benefits of just the ONE HOUR I talked to you on
the phone! Thanks as always for changing my life.

I have a question. I flew in from Atlanta last night and as we were in the
last 5 minutes of the flight, landing at LaGuardia, the plane swept to the
left and bumped up and down, then it swept to the right and kept flying what
seemed like erratically.

I knew this was just turbulence and wind as the pilot was turning, but I
panicked anyways. Some of the kids on the plane were shrieking. Everyone was
nervous, and when we finally landed, everyone clapped. It just felt like
this dramatic out of control thing - like the plane was flying so
erratically that it was going to flip over, or we had suddenly come into
distress.

Now, rationally, again, I knew what was going on. Just to test myself, I
went up to the flight attendants after we landed and said "let me
guess...you guys weren't even nervous while all of us were sweating". They
couldn't believe anyone had been freaked out at all and didn't really seem
to know what I was talking about.

So I guess my question is, is there a gauge to KNOW when to worry? To be
able to say "no, this isn't one of those worrisome times?" Do you know what
I mean?

And why doesn't the pilot get on and say "sorry, we're hitting some bumpy
air don't worry, have fun!".

Thanks so much,

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WE ARE "WIRED UP" TO CONNECT, AND BE SOOTHED BY OTHERS
And, if things go well, we take in the way they soothe us, and built that
inside. Once built inside, we can take it - and that person - with us to
help us deal with anxiety wherever we go.

It is when we don't have a soothing person built in well enough that we
have trouble leaving home (agoraphobia) or leaving the ground (aero-
phobia). It is all about distance from things that connect us with a sense
of that person, or from the actual person.

But, to whatever degree a person who soothes us IS built-in, when they
die, that loss can reduce the soothing effect they have had.

It also can confront us with our own vulnerability.

Here is an email about that.

Strange thing happened. I recently experienced the sudden, unexpected
death of a family. He was only 58. It brought up some very odd feelings
that I've not had in a while relative to flying. All of the sudden I felt concerned
about risk-taking, or presumed risks. I have the dvd's and will begin watching
them again before my coast-to-coast flight in early May.

It was the waves of uncomfortableness, fear and uncertainty that came up
that kind of threw me. Any insight into this? Can you recommend any
books to deal with death.

Thanks,

----- I replied as follows: -----

Yes. You see, we ARE vulnerable, but being aware that at any moment,
life could end, is not something most of us are comfortable with. We
try to cover up vulnerability with the illusion that we are in control.

For example, in a car, though our risk of death is hundreds of times
greater than on a plane, we do not feel anxiety because we have the
illusion of control - the wheel is in our hands, and we imagine that
if anyone comes at us, we will turn the wheel and escape.

When we live day to day in our illusion, when something happens to
shake it up, all the anxieties which have been held in the background
by the illusion come to the foreground, and we are aware of them. It
is shocking. We first don't believe it. Then we try to find some way
to re-establish control that lets the illusion return.

What is wise at this point is to see life as it is, it has risks, and
feel the anxiety and get used to feeling it.

A book? "Denial of Death" by Ernest Becker.

(note, if you just "Google" Earnest Becker, you can get some good
articles about his writings.

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WEDNESDAY IS CHAT NIGHT

Please join us, particularly if you never have. The software limits us
to 25 participants. But it is never full for the first thirty minutes or the
last thirty minutes.

Just go to: www.fearofflying.com/chat and make up something to
call yourself.

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THIS WEEK IN PATRICK'S BLOG

How Delta is betting the farm on overseas expansion. Plus, from rubber
ducks to pajamas, it's the best and worst of onboard amenities including
something called a "Chinese romance card." A kind of inflight fortune
cookie.

To read more, click here:
http://www.salon.com/tech/col/smith/2006/03/10/askthepilot177

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WANT TO TRAVEL SOMEPLACE WARM?

Start now and the results you get will be solidly in place for your trip. We
get good results in just a few days, but excellent results when you have a
couple of weeks to practice the exercises that provides automatic control
of high anxiety and makes panic impossible.

To get started, please just go to:

http://www.fearofflying.com/store.shtml

For almost everyone, the best set of DVDs to get started with is 'The Control
of Anxiety'. If you would like to talk it over first to be sure what is right for you
please call me at 877 332-7359 or 203 258-4803. I'm available from 10 AM
until 7 PM Eastern (same as New York) time.

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LAST MINUTE HELP IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE

Even if you are flying TODAY (!!!) we can provide a lot of help. Don't risk not
being able to take the flight.

Just call. It will help. 877 332-7359 or 203 258-4803. Available 10 AM until
7 PM Eastern (same as New York) time.