A LITTLE NERVOUS DURING TAKEOFF, BUT NOTHING LIKE BEFORE

Hi Tom,

I've been meaning to email you for a while now. I had a phone session
with you around the middle of 2004, and sent you a message in October
2005, telling you about a bad flight I'd had coming back to Ireland from
Spain a few weeks earlier. I also told you that I had an upcoming flight
from Ireland to Papua New Guinea (via Australia) and back due to work
and was very concerned about it.

I took your advice and did the strengthening exercise religiously in the
week or two leading up to the flight. I also did some active relaxation
exercises (clenching and releasing muscles) along with some stomach
breathing exercises that I read about. I'm happy to say that despite some
nervous moments in the leadup, the flights (all eight of them, totalling
around fifty hours) went really well! I was still a little nervous during
takeoff, but nothing like before. During cruise, even when experiencing
turbulance, I was fine, enjoying the inflight entertainment and bordering
on bored at times! It was the best flight I'd had in years and even
though I have to go back on the same roundtrip, which would have been
a daunting prospect in the past, I'm almost looking forward to it.

Thanks for your help and your availability over email when I was so
concerned. I'll let you know how the next trip goes, but I have no reason
to expect it will be anything other than just fine.

Cheers,

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CONTROL AS THE ANSWER TO ANXIETY

Last week's newsletter discussed how we turn to control of things external
to ourselves when we cannot control anxiety internally.

In response to that, I received an email about something said by the Dali
Lama at the conference in D.C. last fall. He said 'if you have contol over
something - don't worry about it. If you cannot control something, don't
worry about it.' Then he smiled and chuckled.

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USING CARTOON CHARACTERS IN THE STRENGTHENING EXERCISE

In the SOAR Video Course on DVD, when the Strengthening Exercise is
presented, I suggested - to get a bit of emotional distance from a difficult
image - to imagine another person imagining the the stressful situation.

We, of course, instantly return to a pre-selected positive emotional memory
as a way of neutralizing the anxiety.

This emotional distance from the stressful situation is needed so that the
quick return to the pre-selected positive experience can impart some
positive qualities to that stressful situation.

After the video was made, I found that cartoon characters can be used to
get some emotional distance from stressful situations during practice of
the exercise. After all, when bad things happen to cartoon characters, we
just find it entertaining. We know they will just bounce back.

I sent an email out to everyone on the use of cartoon characters when
practicing the Strengthening Exercise. If you didn't get the email, or if you
overlooked it, let me know and I'll send you information on how to do it.

The following email refers to the use of a cartoon character when doing
the practice; notice she said she didn't think it would work, but it did.

That's pretty typical for the Strengthening Exercise; it seems too simple
to work. But, though it seems simple, it taps into the most profound way
humans are 'wired up' to be calmed.

Here's the email:

Thank you Tom for all your help. My flights to the south of France over
Christmas went really well, thanks to you. I still have a few things to add
to my strengthening exercises. But for about 90% of the flight I felt
totally relaxed, a few things scared me but I quickly regrouped, just like
in the strengthening exercises. The whole Mickey Mouse exercise worked
miracles too (and I never thought it would). I also printed out all of your
material and my own notes on the dvds, just in case, I get nervous during
the flight- this helps too.

I sincerely thank you for all your help. I've come a long way!

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PATRICK'S BLOG AT SALON.COM

Patrick has posted a listing of his most popular blogs of 2005. You may
want to take a look:

http://www.salon.com/tech/col/smith/2006/01/13/askthepilot169/

Patrick points out that though it is not unusual to pick up the paper and
find there has been an accident some place in the world, 'in the fuller
worldwide context, as a percentage of total flights, large-scale tragedies
are scarcer than ever.'

He says people over react to accidents due to the media. 'If we're mis-
interpreting things, it's largely because the media has taken to blowing
minor events and predicaments wildly out of proportion.'

What Patrick says is true, but there is still an inescapable fact: every time
an accident occurs anyplace, one has the thought that none of those
people on that flight expected it to crash, and yet it did. So, how a person
know that the plane they get on will not be one of those one in several
million flights that do crash.

In my opinion, it is not just the media. Sure the media feed us, but we are
all fed the same media stuff, and yet we have widely different reactions
to it.

I believe those of us who have profoundly anxious reactions to media
coverage did not learn to over-react by exposure to the media; no, our
over-reaction is much too deeply imbedded for that. We learned how to
react at home when very, very young. We were taught by our parents.

Often someone tells me they don't want to pass on their fear of flying to
their children. Fear of flying can be passed on to a child who is old enough
to know what is going on on the plane. But the underlying cause of over-
reaction it 'passed on' when a child is just weeks and months old.

And that is why we can get such remarkable results; we go to the source
of anxiety, and fix the problem at the level of its origins.

When you are ready to fix the problem, we are ready to help. If you want
to start now, go to:

http://www.fearofflying.com/store.shtml

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WANT TO TRAVEL SOMEPLACE WARM?

Start now and the results you get will be solidly in place for your trip. We
get good results in just a few days, but excellent results when you have a
couple of weeks to practice the exercises that provides automatic control
of high anxiety and makes panic impossible.

To get started, please just go to:

http://www.fearofflying.com/store.shtml

For almost everyone, the best set of DVDs to get started with is 'The Control
of Anxiety'. If you would like to talk it over first to be sure what is right for you
please call me at 877 332-7359 or 203 258-4803. I'm available from 10 AM
until 7 PM Eastern (same as New York) time.

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LAST MINUTE HELP IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE

Even if you are flying TODAY (!!!) we can provide a lot of help. Don't risk not
being able to take the flight.

Just call. It will help. 877 332-7359 or 203 258-4803. Available 10 AM until
7 PM Eastern (same as New York) time.