WHEN CONCERN FOLLOW SUCCESS

Hi Tom!

It's been 7 months since I took a flight after completing the SOAR
course. I spoke with you once from Los Angeles before my non-stop
flight to Boston. The flight was absolutely WONDERFUL, I boarded
early, met the Captain and Crew, and tracked my flight on the map
inside the airline (AA) magazine. I was so very proud of myself!!

I used to be absolutely terrified of any movement on the plane. I
swore I could hear and feel a pin drop! However, after the tapes
AND our 1 hr counseling session in LA before I flew home to Boston,
you suggested I imagine the plane in suspended in JELL-O. That
made a tremendous difference (along with the fact that turbulence
is only a problem for me and not the aircraft). Anyway, realizing
air is dense helped me to not panic at the least little bump.

I actually walked around (to the bathroom even) and while waiting for
the bathroom I looked down to the front of the plane (another first).
Of course, that was 7 months ago and I'm re-educating myself via the
tapes and soon the DVDs. I'll definitely let you know the effect of the
in-flight scenes. I've had 'fearful feelings' just watching a scene of
a plane's interior on tv or in a movie. So, I'm really looking forward
to the DVDs.

I have to fly again the end of this month. My concern: Can I truly be
successful again?

I thought it would be easier to 'snap back into shape' and do it again.
It's not. My old head-tapes are running, remembering panic on a
plane, etc. Any Tips you can offer would be welcomed.

My Reply

I think you are 'right on schedule.' When you fly - and do well - and
then don't fly for a while, it is really easy to think that it was just luck,
or something, and that you really don't have anything solid to depend
on. Well, the stuff you learned - and practiced - is 'solid' in the sense
that it works every time, but it is not 'solid' in the sense that you can
put your finger on it, or hold it in your hand. Actually, people who use
drugs to fly have an easier time of it at this point because they can say
'this little pill did it, and it will probably do it again.'

But what you have learned works behind the scenes, unconsciously,
so you can't really feel like you have anything to depend on.

Just REFRESH the Strengthening Exercise, review the 5,4,3,2,1
exercise and don't forget to meet the captain.

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THE PHOBIA PROCESS . . .

'OBSESSING' THOUGHTS INTO VIVID IMAGES

No matter how hard you search for something in the wrong place,
you won't find it. I'm saying that because, as kids, we were taught
that if we worked really hard, or wished really hard, things would
work out.

It ain't necessarily so.

But I'm saying that only to introduce this idea: when you feel anxiety
and want to get rid of the thing that is causing, no matter how hard you
try, if you don't try the right way, it won't work.

In fact, you makes matters worse.

Understanding why can change your life. Stick with me; this is not
simple. We all know that in a moment of terror, images of that moment
stick in the mind. But most phobia doesn't develop that way. Most
phobia develops because we 'obsess' anxiety-producing images into
instant, and vivid, and easy access in the mind.

An interior decorator told me, in order to 'see' a room she is working
on in her mind's eye, she has to obsess about it. What she was saying
is, she couldn't just instantly 'see' the room vividly enough to get a good
sense of how her proposed changes would look. It took concentrated
effort to build the image. The room - and each object she proposed
using - had to be 'obsessed' on - their depth, their color, their position
in the room - in order to form an image she could really get a feel for.

But, she said, once she had obsessed the room and all its furnishings
into place in her mind's eye, she then could 'pop' it into view instantly.

When I heard this I realized this was a key to what happens with fear
of flying. To have trouble with flying, one must be able to visualize
vividly - not just one but - several awful things that seem possible.

Not everyone who has the ability to visualize vividly has trouble with flying.
Why not? A person who is fearful of flying can 'pop' a disaster into view
instantly and vividly enough to cause the release of stress hormones.

What the decorator told me makes it clear that images (whether helpful to
a decorator or troublesome to a fearful flier) do not just appear. Rather,
for these images to be vivid and instantly available, they must be meticulously
crafted - as the decorator said - 'obsessed' into place in the mind.

But why does one 'obsess' an image into the mind in the first place?

Anxiety is simply a resident condition in some individuals. It comes in part
from the quality of early relationships, since it is the early relationships which
teach - or fail to teach - the very young child to use the para-sympathetic
nervous system (the half of the emotional control system which provides
calming, sometimes called 'down-regulation', rather than arousal - sometimes
called 'up-regulation'; up-regulation is innate; down-regulation has to be learned).

If the ability to down-regulate is not well-developed, a person simply has
resident anxiety, sometimes called 'Generalized Anxiety Disorder', or
sometimes called 'Insecure Attachment.'

Naturally, a person with resident anxiety will want to get rid of it. The
problem is, it can't be gotten rid of. But that doesn't keep the person from
trying. And by trying, the anxiety actually is made worse.

Why? To get rid of anxiety, it is easy to think that the thing causing the
anxiety must be identified and then gotten rid of.

Keep in mind, however, there there is no 'thing' causing it; it is just a basic
resident condition.

So, as one tries to identify the cause of the anxiety, one focuses on the
things one believes might be the cause. Though it starts out as a vague
possibility (a 'what if'), as one focuses on it, one 'obsesses' it into a
well-formed clear, vivid, lifelike image in the mind's eye.

The images in ordinary imagination are not as clear and vivid as
something you see in front of you with your eye. The emotional control
system takes note of this, recognizes it as imagination, and does not react.

But the images produced by 'obsessing' them into clear detail in the
mind's eye do approximate something seen in front of you. The
emotional control system mistakes it for real, and reacts by releasing
stress hormone.

The feelings that result from this reaction are the usual 'fight or flight'
response feelings, which prep the body for emergency action, rapid
breathing, rapid heartbeat, sweatiness to pre-cool the body, time shifting
to focus just on this moment, etc. Since these are the physical sensations
you get in genuine danger, since you are now getting these danger 'signals',
one can mistakenly believe that these feelings are proof that the thing
one now sees clearly in the mind's eye is dangerous.

Now, though one started out to try to get rid of anxiety, one has ended
up producing a high state of arousal mentally and physically.

But, it gets worse. Remember the decorator said, once she had obsessed
the room and all its furnishings into place in her mind's eye, she then
could 'pop' it into view instantly? Now that you have obsessed the 'threat'
from being a vague possibility into a seemingly genuine threat to your
life, you can 'pop' it into view instantly in the mind. Unlike the decorator
who can 'pop' it into her mind because she wants to, this thought can 'pop'
into your mind whether you like it or not. And when it 'pops', it causes
'up-regulation.' But one thought can only take you, on a scale of zero to
ten, to about a 'two.' But when you have 'obsessed' a half-dozen or so
images into instant availability, you can have one thought after another
'pop', and be caused emotionally to go 'two, four, six, eight, ten'!

There are three things to consider.

One is, the Strengthening Exercise can take apart the images so that
one does not lead to another, etc.

Two is, exposing yourself to information which - with the best of
intentions - will result in obsessing which will make the problem worse.

Three, the Erasure Exercise can take an image which is vivid enough to fool the
emotional control system and weaken it.

You do need information about how flying works, but the information
needs to be presented along with information about how what can go
wrong is already known and measures to deal with it are already in place.

Most of the aviation information in the media is intended to shock. You
will get neither well-informed not relieved by it.

Order 'How Flying Works' for information that is balanced.

To learn the Strengthening Exercise and the Erasure Exercise, order
'The Control of Anxiety'.

It does literally what it say, . . . it controls anxiety (by controlling the
images that have been 'obsessed' into easy access in the mind.

==========

HERE'S A SHORT VERSION OF PATRICK'S FEB 18 COLUMN FOR SALON

http://dir.salon.com/topics/p_smith/index.html

Q: What about safety as an attractive, money making pitch? Why not
an airline that trumpets its ways of keeping passengers safe? Why
isn't someone trying to be the Volvo of the skies?

As a rule, airlines in America do not use safety as a marketing tool.
All employ the word in a vague and general fashion, but seldom with
regard to specific programs, innovations, or planes.

For airline A to sell itself as safer than everyone else, there needs to
be a presumption of danger aboard its competitors. This would entail
some dubious statistical maneuvering. Since the terror attacks of 2001,
American Airlines has had one fatal accident; the other network carriers
none. For United or Delta to promote themselves a better bet than
American would be, if mathematically accurate, shamelessly underhanded.

Furthermore, the moment any airline dares put safety into the mix,
the issue loses its statistical context and becomes a play on passenger
emotions. All airlines will suffer if an already nervous public begins to
openly and increasingly contemplate its mortality while surfing Travelocity.

Having said all that, there are ways to play the game slyly. An airline is
never faulted for boasting that its crews receive the best training possible.
Protocol permits any airline call itself safe. Just not safer.

Cynics will be eager to cite a seeming trail of greed and criminal negligence:
airlines ruled culpable for certain crashes, maintenance practices
occasionally found suspect, and so on. But I hasten to remind you how
much a carrier stands to lose should one of its planes go down.

Do the FAA and the airlines debate safety in terms of cost? Of course they
do. The ideal safety canon is one that evolves rationally and judiciously;
an all-out push for total invulnerability would be astronomically expensive
and result in a system only marginally improved from what already exists.

Since the Airbus disaster three years ago, our only other black mark was
the crash of a US Airways Express commuter plane in Charlotte, North
Carolina. Twenty-one people were killed. Otherwise, over 1.5 billion
Americans have taken to the skies and lived to tell about it. How many
people are decidedly uncomfortable with those odds?

Patrick's book, ASK THE PILOT, Everything You Need to Know About Air Travel
is available at book stores. See: http://www.askthepilot.com/

==========

IMMEDIATE HELP IS AVAILABLE, EVEN AT THE LAST MINUTE

Capt. Tom Bunn MSW LCSW is both an airline captain and a licensed
therapist. Call (877) 332-7359 or (203) 258-4803

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