REGAINING CONTROL
This email, which came a few days ago, can help make it clear how control is regained.
Read the second paragraph carefully; 'I didn't search for hidden meaning . . . I talked
myself through each step . . . .' This is a beautiful and classic example of learning the
SOAR techniques and putting them into practice to truly regain control.
Dear Captain Tom:
I am home from my first trip since taking the course and receiving counseling from you.
I cannot believe the difference, I don't even know how to put it into words! I felt pretty
scared the night before the flight, despite practicing my strategies. I cried at the airport
when I found out my family could not be seated together. I wanted to be there with them
when the worst happened!!!! Needless to say, I was prepared for failure as I walked on
that plane! That was not, however, the case!
I spent take off doing 5-4-3-2-1, and mentally cataloged what was actually going on.
I recognized every sound I heard as being a normal part of the process. I didn't search
for any hidden meaning in any bump or drop I felt. I talked myself through each step,
based on what I learned about the planes on the DVDs. During flight, my mind would
occasionally go to some potential disaster, but I was able to stop the thoughts immediately.
The 'jello' analogy was great during flight as well. I actually walked off of the plane relaxed.
I have not been able to do this! I so enjoyed my vacation since I was able to immediately
stop negative thoughts about the return flight home! I did this even knowing about the
New Jersey and Afghanistan crashes. Unbelievable!
The return flight was also good, until landing. As we were about to land (we seemed pretty
close to the ground), the pilot pulled up and we flew over Lake Michigan. Most people were
pretty confused, as was I, but I didn't panic. I trusted the pilot and waited. He soon
announced that another plane was too slow to depart and we were too close. He then
turned around and we landed smoothly. I had complete trust in the process and did not
let my imagination start to take over. My husband could not believe how well I handled
the situation. I later asked him if he was scared during that time of 'unknown' (he is not
a fearful flier). He admitted that he was a little nervous, but realized quickly that things
seemed to be going fine. I was so proud to have the same reaction as my rational husband!
My heart was beating a little fast and death did cross my mind, but I was able to quickly
stop the disaster process!
I am so excited about the program! Usually I thank God my flight is over and try to avoid
another trip for as long as can. Instead, I plan on reviewing the DVDs and continuing
participating in the forum. I think I will be ready for another trip when it is time.
I cannot thank you enough for providing this service to so many needy people!
It was worth every penny spent!
Sincerely,
I replied to explain what happened during landing. ATC puts planes five miles behind
each other for landing. That provides enough time for the plane ahead to clear the
runway. The runway must be complete clear - no plane, even at the far end - for you
to be cleared to land. Exit taxiways are not everywhere; they are spaced about 2,000
feet apart, so if the plane ahead plans to slow down enough to exit at a certain place,
but decides they are not slowed down enough, they have to then got - fairly slowly since
they have slowed quite a bit - all the way to the next exit. And that means you have to
'go around' and the pilot can't immediately get on the P.A. It is great that you had that
trust to hang in for an explanation. That kind of 'go around' happens once in a while, and
your pilot can take the plane right down to a foot above the runway legally, but if the
other plane is not off the runway, not only cannot land, but has to get the message from
the tower to land (sometimes the tower is busy talking to someone else and you have to
go around even though the runway is clear).
==========
NEW YORK TIMES ARTICLE: IGNORED 9/11 WARNINGS
Full text at: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/10/politics/10terror.html?ex=1108702800&en=47ce27f90fefc3f4&ei=5070
A report prepared by the 9/11 Commission last summer which was blocked from public
release by the Bush administration until now, has been released. The report shows that
there was an great amount of very specific intelligence information that was ignored by
government officials. The report shows that the FAA received FIFTY-TWO intelligence
reports (from April through September 10th) about Al Qaeda, some of which specifically
discussed airline hijackings and suicide operations.
The Commission says the FAA did little other than to warn airports that 'the intent of the
hijacker is . . . to commit suicide in a spectacular explosion.' The report takes the F.A.A.
to task for failing to pursue domestic security measures that could conceivably have
altered the events of Sept. 11, 2001, like toughening airport screening procedures for
weapons or expanding the use of on-flight air marshals.
A FAA spokesperson responded to release of the report pointing to 'bold steps to improve
aviation security, such as fortifying cockpit doors' after 9/11.
==========
OFTEN, PEOPLE FLY FOR YEARS, AND THEN SUDDENLY CAN'T DO IT. WHY?
Nature has provided us all with the ability, when faced with an emergency, to use stress
hormones to rev up the mind and body to deal with the emergency. It is sometimes called
the 'fight or flight' response.
It works perfectly when in a REAL emergency, the reality of a gun pointed at you, for example.
But it does not work perfectly when in an IMAGINED emergency. Why? Because you can
imagine one aspect of an emergency after another. For example, when thinking of taking
a flight, though you are not even on an airplane, you can imagine one awful thing after another:
1. the plane falling, 2. a hijacker, 3. having a panic attack on board, 4. the plane exploding,
5. people screaming, 6. going out of control and embarrassing yourself,
7. never seeing your loved ones again, 8. what your loved ones will feel having lost you,
etc., etc., etc.
Each of those thoughts is like a REAL emergency, and triggers the flow of stress hormones,
just as if a gun were pointed at you.
But unlike a REAL emergency in which there is only one emergency and one shot of stress
hormones, in IMAGINATION you have several emergencies, one after another in such rapid
succession you may not even recognize they are - not one - but several emergencies
(or aspects of an emergency situation), and EACH OF THEM CAUSES ITS OWNS SHOT OF
STRESS HORMONES.
As a result, instead of going to the level of alertness and readiness that nature intended via
one shot of stress hormones, you go to panic or near panic because of multiple shots of
stress hormones, one for each aspect of the imagined emergency situation.
All these stress hormones lead you to believe that flying is actually dangerous. You clearly
FEEL flying is dangerous. Why? When you think of flying, you have fear, great fear. Since
it feels so dangerous, how can it be otherwise?
Well it is otherwise because the feelings are caused by imagination - not by reality.
But why is it that you could fly fine for so long and now can't? Because it takes time for
enough different disaster scenarios to collect in your mind so that you can think of one
after another after another, causing one shot of stress hormones after another after another.
Pilots, who know the reality of the situation, do not have the same feelings about flying you do.
In fact, when you have flown and felt sure you were about to die, the pilots were in the cockpit
completely relaxed if not bored.
We do not need to change flying. Flying is fine. We need to change your feelings.
I can tell you how.
Go to our web site (http://www.fearofflying.com/store_content.htm) and order one set of the
DVDs we offer. The set you need is 'The Control of Anxiety.'
We will rush your DVDs to you but you don't have to wait to get started. As soon as you order
it, we send you an email to tell you how to start watching them online.
==========
HERE'S A LINK TO PATRICK SMITH
Patrick Smith - airline pilot and author - writes a column on flying for Salon.com at
http://dir.salon.com/topics/p_smith/index.html
His own web site is at: http://www.askthepilot.com/fearofflying.html
==========
IMMEDIATE HELP IS AVAILABLE, EVEN AT THE LAST MINUTE
Capt. Tom Bunn MSW LCSW is both an airline captain and a licensed
therapist. Call (877) 332-7359 or (203) 258-4803
==========
ARE YOU GETTING A NEW EMAIL ADDRESS?
If so, please email me so the newsletter keeps reaching you. Please send
old and new address to:
tom@fearofflying.com
==========
MESSAGE BOARD ON FEAR OF FLYING
Got to www.fearofflying.com and click on the 'message board' button.
==========
JOIN OUR REGULAR WEDNESDAY NIGHT CHAT FROM 9 UNTIL 11 PM EASTERN TIME
At: www.fearofflying.com
Just click on “chat”.
|
|
||||||||
|
This Month
Month Archive
Login
|
Newsletter 2.16.05 OFTEN, PEOPLE FLY FOR YEARS, AND THEN SUDDENLY CAN'T DO IT, REGAINING CONTROL
No comments found.
|
My Favorite Web Logs
|
||||||