THAT THIS WORKS IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT

Hi Capt. Bunn:

I too still love reading all the "happy ending" stories from those who've
taken the SOAR program and are now flying more successfully.

I consider myself a "post grad" having flown 8 times since completing
the cassette and DVD versions of the class. 

I have two messages:  First, to those who've not taken the program...
remember, you can't learn less! If nothing else has worked  for you,
draw strength from the thousands of success stories and give it a shot!

Second, as a post grad, I can honestly say don't worry that you might
revert back to your old habits after the program; or any successful flight
was a fluke, or just a one-time event. 

Each time I've flown, I've done better and better. I think the flights were
no more or less turbulent, the check-in lines were long, there were
delays and all the "normal" things that happen at the airport and during
transportation by air. 

What's changed is ME. My last flight, which was Monday night during
rain, fog and a 30 minute delay. The flight was actually no different from
previous clear, sunny sky on time flights.  

I spent this last flight talking with a fearful flyer who I was luckily enough
to sit next to helping him understand the bumps, noises and "routine" 
things that go on during the flight. I'd never in a million years think I, the
person who's taken trains coast-to-coast more than eight times, could
comfort and talk to someone in-flight to help make their experience
more enjoyable.

To say this program works is an understatement.....it works WONDERS.

Thanks,

==========

WHERE AND WHEN WILL THE AWFUL FEELINGS HIT ME?

Tom,
 
I had a terrible flight 2 years ago which was followed by another terrible
flight in my own plane a few months later. After these two episodes I 
had post traumatic stress syndrome and was terrified of flying. I have
traveled the world for the past 15 years. I cover all of the US in my job
and had to fly. It was so bad that on a couple of flights, before I stopped
flying all together, that I would just cringe and cry the entire flight. 

I called you a year ago and tried to manage my way through it. I
couldn't. My fear was so bad that just hearing a plane go over my
house would make my hands clammy and I would get shortness of
breath.  I felt paralyzed!
 
After several missed meetings and all the excuses I could use I ordered
your DVD set. You sent it to me overnight. I let it sit on the counter for
weeks insisting that I didn't need help and I could over come this thing
on my own. Just talking to our travel service would give me a pit in my
stomach. I have even driven to the airport, checked in, stood in line
and left at the last minute. 
 
I had a trip scheduled and it was a long one - 3 hours! I took the day
off a week before the flight and went through all four DVD's. I did the
exercises, knowing all along it was useless because NO ONE was as
afraid to fly as I had become. The following days I would go through
the exercise.
 
The day before the flight came and I packed with no tears or depression
or fear. I drove to the airport wondering where and when the awful
feeling would hit me. It never came! I have flown more over the last two
months than I have in the past two years. I thank you with every inch of
my soul for helping me!  And I always dreamed of writing you and
email to tell you it worked and I am flying again!!!
 
Thank you Tom!
 
==========

WILL HOLIDAY STRESS STOP YOU FROM FLYING AT THE 
LAST MINUTE?

Stress adds up. The sum of non-flying stresses plus one "what if" 
thought after another after another (about your upcoming flight) can
cause stress hormones to add up. They can peak on the boarding
area (your last chance to escape) and keep you from taking the
flight.

When the inability to board hits for the first time, it comes - as if - out
of the blue; it doesn't seem possible to be unable to board. The inability
to control ones thoughts and feelings comes as a shock.

You may fell like you have lost a vital part of yourself, your ability to be
in control - not just of things - but of yourself.

It may be possible to prevent that. How? By thinking the unthinkable.

Step back and make a stress assessment, and try to determine if
flying might - for the first time - be impossible this holiday season.

Making this assessment is not easy. Who has time to step back and
consider such things? Aren't we too busy? If we are, we may be
setting ourselves up for this kind of ambush overwhelm, the kind that
comes out of the blue, and takes over control of you.

It's much easier just to keep the whole thing out of the mind. Being
so busy this time of year makes it both easy - and seem  to make 
sense - to focus on everything else but that.

That sets up the failure. The time comes, just before the flight, when
keeping it out of mind doesn't work anymore.

Then what? It could come as trouble sleeping, or as having to check
the Weather Channel again and again, worried about snow or about
turbulence. 

Or it can come at the airport when - suddenly and unexplainably -
you just can't do it.

The reason it is unexplainable is, you have scrupulously avoided
letting the subject enter your thoughts, avoided consideration of the
flight, and avoided feeling and exploring your feelings about the flight.

If, on the other hand, you are worried, and uncomfortable, and
thinking about the flight, you actually are better off. It won't catch you
by surprise.

The newest movement is psychoanalytic psychotherapy involves
something now called "mentalization". This means an very real
awareness of the mental processes going on AS they go on, as,
they develop, not just when they break through our attempts to
not be aware suddenly, as in panic.

It is much better when fears and anxieties and conflicts are made
aware, are faced instead of ignored and stored up, as if behind a
dam (a psychological dam within), which may not hold back the
flood waters of panic, unless some off what might be stored back
there is examined now and disposed of.

If you think you can do the flight OK, then consider keeping holiday 
stressors managed. Note each of the things that is causing stress. 
Write each one down. Organize stressors into categories. Get some
construction paper and cut the paper into different geometric shapes,
circle, square, rectangle, star, etc. Use one of these colored shapes
as a cover sheet for each stressor type. Using this organizational
system helps you not try to think of all these things at once.

Categories might include, to do lists, finances, projects, social
obligations, things that need to be repaired, and timeline.

Each category should have, under the cover sheet, a paper listing
things you are worried about in that category, and what options you
have to manage the worries.

The reason for using color AND shape is to make sure you have a
strong visual connection with each category, which tends to keep
you from going from one thing to the next to the next to the next and
getting overwhelmed.

Timeline helps spread things over time and prevent overwhelm. You
might want to draw a clock on that cover paper.

As I said a moment ago, you are way ahead if you are worrying and
thinking about the flight. Doing so gives you a "heads up"  that you
need to do something NOW to - not only keep it from  getting worse,
but getting effective help.

Call now. There is a lot more we can do if you have  several days to
practice the Strengthening Exercise than if you only have a day or
so before you fly.

==========

IF YOU NEED LAST MINUTE HELP, CALL

877 332-7359

==========

THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO LEARN THE EXERCISES THAT
CONTROL ANXIETY NATURALLY AND AUTOMATICALLY

1. The DVDs, or
2. counseling by phone.

It's great to have all the DVDs, but if time or money is in short supply,
order just "The Control of Anxiety".

A phone session with me will be custom fitted to your needs. That's
the advantage of a phone session. The DVDs have the advantage
of including a video to lead you through the practice sessions step
by step, plus something you keep and can use to review.

To order the DVDs, go to:

http://www.fearofflying.com/store.shtml

For a phone session, call me at 877 332-7359 or email me at:
tom@fearofflying.com

==========

A PHONE CALL TODAY

Speaking with a prospective client today, she said, "I'll try anything . . . ."

Well, I'm glad she is going to avail herself of the profoundly effective
help we have developed (it took over ten years of study, research and
experience). But it got me thinking. I wonder how many people have
jumped at trying "anything" such as herbal remedies (which have only
placebo value), Xanax, Ativan (which do nothing more than take the
edge off for two out of three - nothing for one in three), hypnosis (which,
if it works at all, works only temporarily), EMDR (which is good for adult
PTSD, but not for flying), CBT (good for depression, but not flight anxiety),
and ordinary therapy (rarely is helpful, as shown by how many therapists
and psychiatrists are SOAR clients).

If you have tried any - or all - of those things, I'm sure you have not found
the results hoped for. The problem with being willing to "try anything" is
that - unless you just luck out and find us first - you will not be helping
yourself, and only set yourself up for frustration and disappointment.

SOAR is NOT just another fear of flying program. This is the only program
that is not still where fear of flying programs were back in the 1970s, using
info on how safe flying is plus relaxation exercises.

That can help the mildest forms of flight anxiety, but for anything more, the
only place to get effective help is right here.

http://www.fearofflying.com/store.shtml

If you are looking for effective help, you have found the right place. The
only remaining question is whether or not you take advantage of it.

==========

PATRICK'S BLOG AT SALON.COM

Includes such tid bits as the longest scheduled flights:

1. New York-Singapore: 8,288 (Singapore Airlines)
2. Los Angeles-Singapore: 7,621 (Singapore Airlines)
3. New York-Bangkok: 7,525 (Thai Airways)
4. New York-Hong Kong: 7,014 (Cathay Pacific, Continental)
5. Los Angeles-Melbourne: 6,883 (Qantas)
6. Toronto-Hong Kong: 6,787 (Air Canada)
7. Chicago-Hong Kong: 6,773 (United Airlines)
8. Vancouver-Sydney: 6,741 (Air Canada)
9. Los Angeles-Sydney: 6,507 (United, Qantas)
10. Chicago-Delhi: 6,503 (American)

and,

the size of airplanes to come, such as the newly announced
Boeing 747-8 at 223 feet which covers all of a football field,
save 25 yards or so.

Go to: www.salon.com and either sign up, or watch a commercial
to gain free access.

==========

IS FLYING SAFE?

PHYSICALLY?

EMOTIONALLY?

It is physically safer than your usual daily routine. Emotionally safe?
That's another thing.

We can help you be thoroughly sure that it is OK for you to fly
EMOTIONALLY and PHYSICALLY.

To get started, please just go to:

http://www.fearofflying.com/store.shtml

==========

IF YOU ARE NOT SURE, CALL ME

I'm available from 10 AM until 7 PM Eastern Time (same as New York)
at 877 332-7359. Outside the U.S. and Canada, call (203) 258-4803.

Or email me at: tom@fearofflying.com

==========

FEAR OF FLYING BLOG

All the newsletter from the past year or so are at:

www.fearofflyingblog.com

plus some blogs by Bonnie, Cap'n Steve (AA captain) Lisa and others.

==========