DEALING WITH ANXIETY OF YOUR PLANE BEING THE ONE IN
TEN MILLION THAT DOES CRASH

When we judge things rationally, we consider the possibility of some-
thing bad happening versus the benefits. When we judge something
emotionally, we easily make the mistake of seeing that one chance of
disaster in a million is the same as one chance of disaster in a hundred
million.

The problem is, we have no way of know - FOR SURE - whether that
'one' in either case will or will not be me. That makes it look as if it is
all the same, and no matter what plane I get on, that will be the one
that crashes.

Obviously this is a feeling, but feeling is often mistaken for reality. Just
as 'wishing doesn't make it do', feeling it is so doesn't make it so, either.

If you think of Tom Wolfe's book, 'The Right Stuff', the astronauts and
fighter pilots and test pilots he wrote about knew they faced situations
where - even with all their skill - they might not survive, and yet they did
those things anyway.

Feeling Safe Through Oversimplification And Illusion

We get into trouble when we make the mistake of oversimplification:
dividing things into 'safe' and 'unsafe'. Nothing is totally safe. Everything
involves risk. But when you spend your days thinking what you are doing
is safe, you are probably thinking that because you feel you have control;
none of us have absolute control, and none of us are absolutely safe. But
when we fail to realize that everything has risk, when it comes to flying,
we suddenly are confronted with what we have avoided by our illusion of
safety in our day-to-day living. Oh, I'm not in control; this could end up a
disaster. I have no way to know if I will or will not be the one in a million,
or ten million, or a hundred million.

Though a smart person would choose the plane that crashes once in a
hundred million flights over one that crashes once in a million flights,
the person who has anxiety difficulties looks at it as if it is all the same.

Why? Because all of these stats include 'one'. And you can't know.

Yet, you take risks every day. The problem is, when you take them mind-
lessly, then when you become mindful of risk (though you don't want to)
THEN you have trouble with it.

Relaxation is not enough; people who try to sell relaxation point out that
it is psychologically impossible to be relaxed and afraid at the same time,
so relax. But how can you be relaxed when you think you are about to die.
Relaxation exercises don't work at such moments. The original courses
on fear of flying depended on those exercises; that's why they failed. I put
together SOAR because those courses were unsatisfactory.

Hypnosis, if it works at all, works only temporarily. If you want solid help,
you need to learn how flying works, be convinced it is a reasonable risk,
and then learn to automatically control the feelings.

When you are ready for solid help, here is where you find it:
http://www.fearofflying.com/store.shtml

==========

AN INSTRUCTIVE EMAIL

This is a lengthy email but it gives us an excellent play-by-play of how
a person deals with flying after learning the Strengthening Exercise and
the 5,4,3,2,1. The writer had one month to go through the SOAR Video
Course on DVD, and then added a phone counseling session shortly
before the flight (it is better to do counseling a week or so before the flight).

When practicing the Strengthening Exercise (which gives automatic
control of high anxiety and panic), every thought that can cause concern
during the flight needs to be included. The writer discovered she some
unexpected images and sounds (plane appears to be older; really loud
and whiney engines) and took note of them to add them to her practice
before the next flights.

Notice that the hardest part of the flight (once you have the Strengthen-
ing Exercise) is not the flight, but the anticipation of it. And, just as
recommended, she turned to the 5,4,3,2,1 when she needed it in the
boarding area and before takeoff.

One of the things she wrote that I think needs to be underlined in our
thinking is, ' . . . that my anxiety and constant attention are not the things
that are holding the airplane up.'

Dear Captain Bunn,

Well, I'm here. We flew to Oklahoma on Friday and I did amazingly
well. Not a single tear - which is a seriously big change. My husband
says that he couldn't even tell that I was worried. It was such a relief
and change to not arrive at my destination just completely wrung out.

The first flight, on a small Canadair out of Wilmington's tiny airport was
the best. I walked through the door into the plane and the cockpit was
right there with the door wide open. The pilot and copilot had just flown
the identical route from Atlanta and were happy to speak to me and tell
me how the ride had been.

I had some preflight and night before anxiety. The hardest parts were
the night before, leaving in the car for the airport, and after security. I
had to 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 in the car on the way, but kept it under control. The
things that helped most on the flight on a conscious level were 3 things:

1) Experience flying as it is - staying in the moment.

2)The how an airplane works and the what happens on a flight part of
the CDs. I thought I was pretty savvy on how an airplane works, but it
was very calming to be able to identify every loud sound as something
normal for the crew. and

3) remembering that flying doesn't change with my emotions. In other
words, that my anxiety and constant attention are not the things that are
holding the airplane up. i.e. Reality=control of anxiety and imagination
= panic.

The second flight was harder. My husband and daughter were a little
tired and cranky at that point; Atlanta was sooo busy and crowded; and
we were flying on an MD-80, which, as a plane type gives me a little
irrational worry because, I believe, it is the plane type that was lost
between California and Seattle. That particular accident has always
worried me because it didn't happen at take-off or landing and also I
have a close friend whose mother is a flight attendant for Alaska Airlines
who lost friends. Anyway, it was hard to hold it together in the boarding
area and before take-off. I had to use the 5-4-3-2-1 several times and in
the airplane some feelings of needing to escape got through the strength-
ening exercise. Before and during take-off were definitely hard on that one,
but I worked hard to keep in under control. I was flying with my husband,
who knows how I feel about flying (and hates to fly with me because my
panic has been so intense in the past) and on the runway I almost felt the
need to say to him, ' you know, this is getting very hard for me' or some-
thing like that, but I felt that if I acknowledged the fear at all out loud that it
would run away with me and escalate into panic. So, I didn't say anything.

I need to add a few images to my strengthening exercise that include
being on a plane that appears to be older and more 'well-used' and that
has really loud and 'whiney' engines. The engine noise in that one was
especially grating. I was glad that I knew to expect 'noise abatement.' The
thing that helped on this flight was remembering to be in the moment and
that I was going to 'get to Oklahoma even if it kills me.'

So, it is Christmas eve and the wonderful thing is that I am here with my
family. My step-mom, who also knows how hard flying has been for me
was so happy to see us when we arrived in Oklahome city that she burst
into tears.

Another thing that I am so grateful for is that I flew for the first time with
my 2 year old daughter and because of this course and my new control,
I think I managed to convey to her a sense of excitement about flying
instead of a sense of fear.

Well, we still have to get home, and I know I still have some more work
to do to be fully comfortable in the air, but the change already has been
remarkable.

Thank you, Captain Bunn, and Merry Christmas.

PS thank you for speaking with me on such short notice on Thursday. It
really helped to talk to you in person.

Sincerely,

==========

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==========

THIS WEEK IN PATRICK'S SALON.COM BLOG

Who's to blame when a 737 goes skidding off a snowy runway? And the
truth about lightning strikes.

To read more, click here:
http://www.salon.com/tech/col/smith/2005/12/23/pilot_midway_crash/index.html

==========

PATRICK'S LETTER TO THE EDITOR PROTESTING MEDIA HYPE

21 December 2005

Dear Boston Globe:

I was very disappointed to come across today's front-page story about a
Midwest Airlines jetliner that returned to Logan yesterday evening after a
possible landing gear problem. Moreover, learning that the landing
garnered live coverage on both CNN and MSNBC left me astonished.
At this point, media are losing all grip when it comes to aviation stories,
turning events that present virtually no threat of catastrophe into live-
action spectacles.

Some specifics: The Midwest incident is described -- in the Globe and
elsewhere -- as an 'emergency landing.' It was not. The Midwest crew
never declared an emergency and requested no special attention from
airport authorities. Massport dispatched vehicleson its own behest,
simply as a precaution. Hardly a scenario to warrant 'panic,' as one
passenger described her reaction to the situation.

This was a routine precautionary landing, likely the result of a brake or
landing gear door malfunction. I can't possibly overemphasize just how
minor and non-threatening this sort of thing is. Your story was embellished
with quotes from teenage passengers, one of whom describes the airplane
as having felt 'out of control' -- a comment utterly outrageous, and
irrelevant to anything that a landing gear problem could present in a
million years.

From a pilot's point of view, the Midwest Airlines incident was not unlike
the JetBlue landing at Los Angeles last September, in that the likelihood
of the aircraft failing to land safely was slim to none. I discussed the JetBlue
iasco, and why it was an overblown embarrassment, here:

http://www.salon.com/tech/col/smith/2005/09/30/askthepilot156/
http://www.salon.com/tech/col/smith/2005/10/07/askthepilot157/
http://www.salon.com/tech/col/smith/2005/10/28/askthepilot159/

For whatever reasons, it is quickly becoming a phenomenon that any time
an aircraft makes an unscheduled landing, regardless of how insignificant
the problem, it is carried live on network TV and splashed on the front page
of major newspapers. Such hype is tedious and insulting to crewmembers,
passengers, and your audience alike. It preys on people's ignorance about
airplanes, and disrespects the victims of prior, legitimate emergencies, many
of whom were killed.

Best regards,
Patrick Smith

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LONGEST FLIGHTS

1. New York-Singapore: 8,288 (Singapore Airlines)
2. Los Angeles-Singapore: 7,621 (Singapore Airlines)
3. New York-Bangkok: 7,525 (Thai Airways)
4. New York-Hong Kong: 7,014 (Cathay Pacific, Continental)
5. Los Angeles-Melbourne: 6,883 (Qantas)
6. Toronto-Hong Kong: 6,787 (Air Canada)
7. Chicago-Hong Kong: 6,773 (United Airlines)
8. Vancouver-Sydney: 6,741 (Air Canada)
9. Los Angeles-Sydney: 6,507 (United, Qantas)
10. Chicago-Delhi: 6,503 (American)

Tips For Dealing With Long Flights

Don't depend on the airline to keep you entertained. Bring along a variety
of things, a book, a half-dozen magazines, crossword puzzles, video games
(you can be Tetris for $10.00).

Either buy a map of the route or use the map in the rear of the in-flight
magazine. Draw a line from your point of departure to your destination.
When you learn the time en route (actually in the air) split the line into that
number of parts, so each part will represent the amount of the map it takes
one hour to cross. When you take off, use your own watch and note the time.
Write the time down on the map at the departure point. Then do the math.
Add an hour and write that time on the map at the first mark (that represents
the time you will cross that point. Add another hour and write that time on
the map at the next mark. Continue until you have thus put the times you
expect to cross each mark on all of them, and the time you write on the map
will be your arrival time at the destination. This means you can look at your
own watch at any point and figure out where on the map you are.

Though many planes have a video to show where you are, going through
this exercise helps split up the flight in your mind. You may want to do marks
that break up each hour into fifteen minute segments.

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IS FLYING SAFE?

PHYSICALLY?

EMOTIONALLY?

It is physically safer than your usual daily routine. Emotionally safe?
That's another thing.

We can help you be thoroughly sure that it is OK for you to fly
emotionally and physically.

To get started, please just go to:

http://www.fearofflying.com/store.shtml