IT IS EMAILS LIKE THIS THAT KEEP LISA AND ME 'HOOKED' ON
RUNNING THE SOAR PROGRAM

It makes it possible for people who believe their situation is hopeless
to experience flying in a way they were sure was possible only for
'other' people.

Capt. Tom:

Well, I must admit that I am absolutely baffled and amazed. As you
know, after listening to all the DVD's, speaking with you, and doing
the strengthening exercises, I took my first flight in 15 years on Friday.
To my amazement, and despite some high pre-flight anxiety (including
a panic attack after I booked the flight), I had little to no anxiety on the
light, including take-off, and I actually enjoyed the flight! I sat by the
window and enjoyed the view. What just happened after 15 years of
terror? On a level of 1 through 10, I don't think I ever felt more than
a 1. My greatest anxiety was waiting to get on the plane (and that was
maybe a 2, if not a 1). You were absolutely right; the anxiety was high
with my thoughts pre-flight, but was nearly non-existent for the actual
flight and direct stimuli.

The odd thing was that I was a bit more anxious on the flight back. I
think my mind didn't want to believe the lack of anxiety and was actually
looking for things to be worried about. Nevertheless, I think the most
anxiety I felt on the second flight was because I sat more towards the
back and felt more 'cramped' and perhaps a bit 'trapped' because I
could see all the people packed in the plane in front of me. The pilot
was also a bit more aggressive and the movements were more notice-
able, but again, I don't think my anxiety level was more than 1 or
perhaps 2. When I felt something surprising (i.e. a bump), instead of
wondering why it happened, I just thought to myself, it's normal. I also
purposely did not clench my seat or arm rest, and made a conscious
effort to relax in my seat, regardless of what the plane was doing. I
brought along some magazines, a CD player, and a book to distract
me if needed: I never picked up any of them during the flight - I was
too interested in what was happening (in a positive way) and with the
view.

I'm still baffled and it appears that the old, 15 years-worth of thoughts,
fears, associations, and beliefs, are trying their hardest to creep back
on the surface, but I'm doing my best to keep them at bay. For example,
I still feel initial anxiety, as I sit here, thinking of being up at 20,000 feet,
but I know it won't be a problem on the plane, as it is happening. I
presume the more I fly the less the 'automatic' response to my old
triggers will go away. I have 15 years of de-programming to conduct.
My imagination just needs to take a rest and leave me alone. It almost
feels like I have been given a fragile egg in my hands and I have to
protect it so it doesn't crack.

Also, the rational aspects of the program were very helpful. Under-
standing what and why the plane is doing something (and visualizing
it as well), goes a long way to keep the anxiety down. No more worrying
why more power is added or dropped to the engines; no more worrying
why the altitude is adjusted or why turbulence is present. It's all normal
and there is no need to 'make my own movie.' I took it as it came and
let it go. At cruising altitude, I wasn't anxious for the flight to end like in
the past. The pilot knows what he or she is doing and the plane has
back-up systems. And although I did not consciously think of 'jello,' I
didn't feel like I was floating simply on thin air. I knew the plane couldn't
just fall out of the sky or that the bottom would give out from under the
plane. The 'glider' and 'no engine' explanations helped in that regard.
Do tragedies and accidents happen? Sure, but no more (and actually
less) than any other normal activities. Is flying my most favorite activity
(or will it be)? Probably not, but it doesn't have to be and I don't have to
fear it.

My mind is still in disbelief as to what just happened. I was just up there
at 10,000 feet and was OK with it. I'm in such disbelief that I'm afraid my
anxieties will return (i.e., this is my mind talking: 'OK, tough guy, you
think you have this beat, wait till the next flight'). I think once I have a
few more flights under my belt, those old feelings will go away. I'm flying
again on 11/17 and then again on 11/26. This time to Atlanta and back,
which are longer flights. I'm not concerned and I will let you know how
they went.

I can't thank you enough for the SOAR program and your assistance in
defeating this deliberating fear (and I still am worried about admitting I
beat my phobia; don't know why - I guess I don't want to be too cocky
and I don't want to admit I was wrong for such a long time). As I'm sure
your other clients have expressed, this opens up a new world of possi-
bilities and removes one, if not the heaviest, burdens I have had to carry
in my life. 15 years and a no-flying way of life. It's a lot to absorb in one
weekend.

Your program is invaluable. I will keep doing the strengthening
exercises as needed, and will keep your DVD's as a valuable resource
in reminding me that flying is very safe. I will certainly recommend your
program to anyone I encounter with this problem. Moreover, feel free to
use me as an example, or for any other purpose, in promoting your
program.

I will keep in touch and look forward to the newsletters.

Thanks again, Captain.

SOME THOUGHTS ON THE 'UPS AND DOWNS'
(PLEASE PARDON THE PUNS)

Once a person flies after SOAR, it is SO different, that some kind of
suspicion or disbelief comes into play. How can this be possible? It
seems unreal. Even though it is positive, such massive change can
be disturbing, as it kinds of toys with reality, or belief in ones sanity.
that such almost total changeIt seems as though Or perhaps one
hopes to feel nothing, and after all, there is such a thing as normal
anxiety.

Still, my suspicion is that it has several little causes, and one of them
is the belief that if we don't worry, if we don't expect disaster, some-
thing awful will happen. At least if we are suffering from fear, that may
be 'enough' to appease the gods, as animal sacrifice appeased the
gods in more primitive ages (perhaps we are still primitive, huh?).

Anyway, nothing could please me more than hearing how this adven-
ture has reach this point; and yes, every new flight is like a new video
game; your score in the last game doesn't have much to do with the
new game underway right now!

==========

ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF PRACTICE TO MAKE THE
STRENGTHENING EXERCISE WORK AUTOMATICALLY

Capt. Tom,

Just wanted to let you know that I flew Chicago to Portland and back
within the past 6 days. And once again I found out that if I do the
Strengthening Exercise before the flight and the 5-4-3-2-1 when at
the airport and during the flight, I do just fine with flying.

(The following two paragraphs are what happens when practice
has not been done.)

I was reminded of the importance of this as I didn't do the Strength-
ing Exercise before my first flight because I felt pretty relaxed about
flying. Then I ignored my building anxiety as I was in the airport and
kept telling myself I was 'just fine.' It seemed to me at the time that
doing the exercises would mean that I was in big emotional trouble
and I just kept ignoring my feelings. Not surprisingly, as I stepped on
to the plane to meet the pilot, I went from a 3 to a 7 on a 10-point
anxiety scale. But I did meet the captain and then I put my things in
my seat and immediately went from a 7 to what felt like an 11. I turned
around and went off the plane. I took some deep breaths, told myself
I could do it, and went back to my seat. I immediately turned around
and went back off the plane again..... not even concerned that my
purse was left sitting on my seat. I was really flooded with emotion!!!

A stewardess came off the plane and talked with me. She encouraged
me, said she knew I could do this so I could visit my granddaughter,
and told me she would come to my seat at any time if I needed her
during the flight. I was beyond embarassesment......I told her that I
was a nurse and social worker, and that I helped people with these
type of feelings, but I was feeling so vulnerable myself that I had to
know if she would really help me. She said she would. I told her that
if she would just hold my hand when I needed it, I would feel grounded
and I could do the 4-hour flight, despite my feeling so claustrophobic.
So I got back on the plane, did the 5-4-3-2-1 exercises a number of
times and calmed down to about a 3 or 4. I had a few times during
the flight when I got up to a 6, but the 5-4-3-2-1 and some deep
breaths really helped being me right back down to a 2 or 3. And I
actually dozed a bit, too. But I was on alert for more panic.

(The following paragraphs describe flying with proper preparation.)

Out of a sense of despair, I decided I had to prepare for my return
flight, even if the exercises didn't help. So I made a very detailed
list of my difficult moments.... starting with the day before the flight
and continuing through getting off the plane. I had about twenty
'moments' that I used with the Strengthening Exercise, and I did each
one a number of times. I find it interesting that I was still resistant to
doing the Exercise as feeling that I needed to do this seemed to make
me think that something was really wrong with me if I had to do this
silly Exercise. But I made myself do them and guess what. Yes, I had
a few moments prior to boarding when I got up to about a 3 and on
the plane I had a couple of moments of a 3, but that was it. I actually
enjoyed the flight and most of the time felt that I had plenty of
emotional and physical space. It was like a miracle.

The flight crew was wonderful, too. The pilot even invited me to sit in
the co-pilots seat and showed me what he was doing with the flight
prep. When he took a break he came back to say 'Hi' and ask how I
was doing. We had turbulence and the attendant came over to tell
me that we would be above it soon and not to worry. I am going to
write a letter to the American Airlines to thank the staff for helping
me to fly successfully. They were really helpful, but the key was the
exercises.

My take-home message to myself? LIST MY DIFFICULT MOMENTS,
DO THE STRENGTHENING EXERCISE A NUMBER OF TIMES BEFORE
THE FLIGHT, AND GIVE MYSELF THE OPPORTUNITY TO ENJOY
FLYING!!!!!!!!! It's a tool that works and if I use it, I am truly okay
with flying. Sure, there are parts of flying that I don't like, such as the
stuffiness of the cabin when boarding and before we take off. But
those things take an appropriate place in the overall experience when
I am experiencing what is really happening, not what I fear could
happen. Annoying? Yes. Overwhelming? No. Breakthroughs of
anxiety just mean that I need to put that 'trigger' on my list and do
the Strengthening Exercise with it before the next flight.

Thank you again, Capt. Tom. And also to all of you who write in with
your experiences.... they are really an encouragement to me.

==========

PSYCHIATRY DIDN'T WORK. VIRTUAL REALITY THERAPY DIDN'T
WORK. HYPNOTISM DIDN'T WORK . . . BUT, OF COURSE, SOAR DID

Dear Captain Bunn:

It is with much surprise AND gratitude I write this letter to say 'I DID IT'!
Last year I ordered the tapes really not expecting them to work but feeling
very pressured both from a career standpoint and my family to try some-
thing. In the past I had tried traditional psychiatry only to be presented
with a prescription for Xanax, but masking the fear wasn't an option for
me. I tried hypnotism and gave it a 'no credibility' vote. I tried virtual
reality treatment only to be told I had a vestibular disorder resulting from
an ear injury. I listened to the first DVD and thought I can relate to all this
but I don't see it helping me beat the fear. Learning about how planes work,
what they can't do, etc. in the second tape really kicked in and gave me
hope. The time came recently when a business trip was required (I had
been a 'no show' just a year before and it did not settle well with manage-
ment). I was feeling fairly confident that I could take the flight with minimal
anxiety when an unfortunate airplane accident occurred in Egypt just a
week before my scheduled trip. Despite knowing all the facts that were
presented in the earlier DVD about flying with a reputable airline and
regulations in the United States versus other parts of the world, I still went
into a tailspin and felt paralyzed by fear. I anxiously went on to the SOAR
site hoping for lost treasure and found it via the DVD tape in the series.
Within minutes I was listening to the DVD via my computer and when
they arrived, I listened to several times and repeatedly went through the
exercises. The day of the flight came and I found myself mentally in a
very comfortable place. My biggest worry was would I have the courage
to ask to meet the captain, but I read over and over that meeting the
captain could be the single most important component of success.
When I boarded the plane I immediately went to the stewardess and
explained I had just completed a fear of flying course and meeting the
captain was highly recommended so might I meet the captain. She gave
me a warm smile and said 'absolutely'. She opened the door to the cock-
pit and introduced me by saying 'Gentlemen, we have a very special guest.'
The captain and copilot were MOST welcoming, gracious, and informative.
They probably gave me 10 minutes of their time showing me all the bells
and whistles of the plane and even showing me weather and turbulence
reports they get daily and showed me the path our flight would take and
how long. During the flight the captain seemed to go out of his way to give
many announcements as the trip progressed even to the point of saying
we were 250 miles from destination. I had listened and read the material
over and over so much that as 'noises' occurred, I recognized the 'stair
step' as we climbed and descended and I waited for the up with every
down of turbulence, etc.. Only briefly did I feel anxious and did the
5-4-3-2-1 exercise and calmed myself by 4. About 10 minutes before we
landed, the stewardess came on the intercom and made an announce-
ment that there was a very special guest (turns out it was I she was
speaking of) who had just taken her first flight so everyone please give
a round of applause. A few minutes later she showed up with a huge
bag of goodies. On the bag she had written cheery notes (said bag sits
by my computer to remind me of my accomplishment!) like 'Congratulations',
'You Made It' and 'Be Proud'. For their extraordinary kindness, a 'plug' for
Southwest Airlines for customer service and kindness above and beyond!

So it is with much gratitude I thank you for your program and service you
provide for people like me. I feel I've been given the opportunity to now
fully experience life and the world. What a great gift!

Sincerely,

==========

HAVE YOU TRIED 'EVERYTHING' AND GIVEN UP? WE HAVE WHAT
WORKS.

To get started, please just go to:

http://www.fearofflying.com/store.shtml

==========

IF YOU ARE STILL NOT SURE WHAT TO DO, CALL ME

I'm available from 10 AM until 7 PM Eastern Time (same as New York) at
877 332-7359. Outside the U.S. and Canada, call (203) 258-4803

Or email me at: tom@fearofflying.com

==========

FEAR OF FLYING BLOG

All the newsletter from the past year or so are at:

www.fearofflyingblog.com

plus some photos of last years New York SOAR-FEST and blogs
by Bonnie, Cap'n Steve (AA captain) and others.

==========

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN BLOGGING?

Oh yes, what does 'blog' mean anyway? It is an abbreviation of web log;
a few years ago, a few people started just putting their daily thoughts on
an Internet site; they called them their web log. That got shortened to 'blog'.

If so, please submit your blog to tom@fearofflying.com