PRIVATE PILOT ANXIETY (AS A PASSENGER), AUTOMATIC ANXIETY CONTROL

On the message board, a private pilot asked about anxiety when flying
as a passenger. When the regulatory system for emotions does not
develop as well as it might, natural regulation of anxiety is less available.
We calm ourselves artificially via control of things, control of situations,
and control of people. If we lose control of any of that, we become anxious.

When we pilot the plane, we feel we are in control. But when we are a
passenger and cannot see that everything is being controlled properly
by someone else, we get anxious.

How anxious? It depends on the total number of 'what if' thoughts that
come to mind and how densely packed they are in time.

It's like this. One beer will not make you drunk, and drinking a six-pack
over six days will not make you drunk. But a six-pack in sixty minutes
will definitely do a number on you.

These thoughts we call 'what ifs' . . . one will not be a problem, but as
you get older and wiser and learn more things that can go wrong,
instead of having just one 'what if' you have a six-pack.

And if that six-pack of 'what ifs' gets into your awareness in just a
matter of seconds, (since each 'what if' triggers a shot of stress
hormones), a six-pack of 'what ifs' triggers a six-pack of stress
hormones, and you go into panic.

This brings to mind one - I think almost cruel, and certainly crude
- way of treating panic disorder. You do into the doctor's office, and
the doctor injects you will a 'six-pack' worth of adrenalin, and you
panic. And the doctor sits there with you assuring you that that's just
ine. (Easy for the doctor to say, though it is true)

Then you come back next week and do the same thing. Sooner or
later, you realize getting shot up with a six-pack worth of adrenalin
doesn't kill you . . . unless you kill the doctor first!!!

Well, we have a different approach. We figure it is better to turn
those beers into alcohol-free beverages. . . . we train your thought
processes to NOT respond to those 'what ifs'.

Then the six-pack has, as it were, no-alcohol. But this six-pack has
no adrenalin-release potential.

So, to apply this to piloting (or driving): when you are in the cockpit
and in control, no problem. When you are in the cabin and can't see
what's going on, you get hit with a six-pack of 'what ifs' and that gives
you a six-pack's worth of - not alcohol - but adrenalin, which instead
of making you drunk as alcohol would, makes you so highly stressed
that you feel high anxiety or panic.

You may not have clearly definited 'what ifs' but they are there and
they are causing trouble.

It is not all that unusual for pilots to be 'control freaks'. At Pan Am,
we used to joke about it, how some of the infamous captains couldn't
even sit through a landing by the copilot without suddenly shouting,
'I'VE GOT IT' and finishing the landing. One story even involves the
captain slamming his hand on the copilot's hand on the throttles,
and breaking bones in the copilot's fingers.

Fortunately, they are gone. Those were the captains left over from
WW II when the military let any warm body through flight training.
We were more than relieved when those old codgers retired.

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IT DOES TAKE PRACTICE TO MAKE THE CONTROL AUTOMATIC

Hi Tom,

I just wanted to write you a note to thank you for your help. My trip to
Phoenix from Sacramento and back was a breeze. The anticipatory
anxiety was still there, but I was able to put it out of my mind for the
most part and used the 5,4,3,2,1 exercise before my flight. I met the
captain as soon as I got on the plane. He even came and sat next
to me in my seat for a few minutes. I sat in the window seat, which
would have been unheard of 6 months ago. The takeoff made me
a little nervous, but I managed to keep my composure by thinking
about all of the steps that go into taking off; for each noise, my mind
had an explanation. I stared out the window the whole trip passing
over alluvial fans, sparkling lakes and fall foliage. It was beautiful.
The ride back to Sacramento was bumpy and not as pretty because
of the clouds. During the bumps, I just pictured a giant bowl of blue
Jell-O with our plane firmly planted in the middle. My anticipatory
anxiety was almost non-existent before the flight back to Sacramento!
I approached the gate agent for my preboard pass and she under-
stood my completely because I wasn't in tears for once!

After talking to you the day before my flight, I realized that you were
right. The reason why I had a tough time in May when I flew to LA,
is because I didn't break the takeoff down into enough parts during
my strengthening exercise. After doing this, I was a lot more comfort-
able. I understand now that I will probably never be 100% comfortable
before or during my flights, but if my fear remains this mild, I am willing
to travel anywhere.

Thank you again for your help. You deserve a humanitarian award
for your work.
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Flying is remarkably safe. Fear of flying is produced by filing
in the mind thoughts and images of disaster sufficient to allow
one after another of these thoughts and images to come to
awareness is a rapid sequence, and since each will release
stress hormones, the total stress hormone produces high
anxiety or panic.

Often people who are anxious are drawn to the gory details
of accidents. If a person should wish to produce an irrational
anxiety response within, exposure to crash information will
help accomplish that.

There is a much more productive way of learning to feel as
safe when you fly as flying actually is - in other words, if
you want the feeling and the reality to match - recording
ADDITIONAL 'what if' thoughts and images will counter-
productive.

Interested? See: http://www.fearofflying.com/store.shtml

On this subject, an experienced SOAR Graduate posted:
Seeking out disaster scenes will harm you more than you
can ever know. Growing up I never flew. The only experience
I had with commerical aviation was mainly through the t.v.
For 20 years everytime I 'saw' a jet, a jet cabin, or 'heard'
an atc message something very bad happened. I specifically
remember those MSNBC specials narrated by Robert Hager
which detailed every major scale commerical aviation disaster
in the last 30 years all with vivid pictures.

Then years later when it came time for me to fly I panicked.
Even though I knew how flying worked and I knew that
statistically flying was totally safe I still had trouble with it.
As Captain Tom said most of the time my images came in
'six packs'; they occured so fast that I didn't even notice
them, I just panicked. Once in awhile in between the con-
stantly re-occuring 'six packs' a single image would slip by
and I would consciously recognize it. Lo and be-hold it was
one of the many of hundreds of disaster scenes that I had
picked up over the years that had become stored in my
mental filecabinet and my mind was convinced that what
occurred in the past image WAS going to happen to my
plane at that moment. It has been taking me a long time
to clean out my filecabinet and neutralize those horrific
images. Ironically, sometimes images pop into my head of
things that I don't even remember remembering. Why
consciously expose yourself unnecessarily to images or
sounds that may come back to haunt you years down the
road? When you are put in the vulnerable situation of
sitting in an airplane you can't tell yourself that I just
won't think of those things; the images come on their
own. Believe me I learned that the hard way.

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SUCCESS STORY EMAILS ARE BUILDING UP SO I'LL
INCLUDE ANOTHER ONE

Capt. Tom-I'm one of those success stories that you are
referring to in the latest SOAR Newsletter. I believed that
I will would never fly in my life. But, thanks to your SOAR
program, I flew for the first time in September in a small
Cessna plane. Then, I flew for the first time in a jet plane
going from Tampa to Boston on Oct. 18.

I did the Strengthening Exercises many times, and I did the
54321 exercises many times before I flew on both flights.
And, I had 2 counseling sessions with you before I flew on
the jet plane trip. When the day came (Oct.18), I was uptight.
I did meet the pilot and copilot. They were so nice to me.
Then, the plane started going on the runaway, and away I go!
I was uptight for a couple of hours, but I finally relaxed the
last half hour. The ride back on Oct. 22 from Boston to Tampa
was better for me. I was able to eat and drink on this trip
(I didn't eat or drink on the earlier trip). The only time that I
was really nervous was when the pilot announced about
midway on the trip to put the seat belts on for an expected
turbulence. But, after that time, I calmed down. And, I enjoyed
the landing on the runaway of Tampa International Airport very
much! (By the way, Capt. Tom, I did do both the Strenthening
Exercise and the 54321 exercise a few times before I went
back from Boston to Tampa. And, I talked both the pilot and
copilot before I went back from Boston to Tampa). Capt. Tom,
I'm already looking forward in going to the Family Reunion in
Ohio next August by flying. I'm thinking of flying somewhere
in this country before the Family Reunion. And, maybe, I'll fly
to the next SOARFEST. I would like to fly to England next
year also, but I may wait for a couple of years for that destina-
tion. I don't know if I want to fly for 8 or 9 hours without stopping.
I'm thinking of maybe breaking that up, however, by going to
New York and staying for a couple or 3 days. Then, fly on to
England. So, I do have mixed feelings about going to England.
Take care, Capt. Tom. Keep doing in what you are doing.

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DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE HOW FLYING FEELS?

To get started, please just go to:

http://www.fearofflying.com/store.shtml

==========

IF YOU ARE NOT SURE, CALL ME

I'm available from 10 AM until 7 PM Eastern Time (same as New York) at
877 332-7359. Outside the U.S. and Canada, call (203) 258-4803

Or email me at: tom@fearofflying.com

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FEAR OF FLYING BLOG

All the newsletter from the past year or so are at:

www.fearofflyingblog.com

plus some photos of last years New York SOAR-FEST and blogs
by Bonnie, Cap'n Steve (AA captain) and others.

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ARE YOU INTERESTED IN BLOGGING?

Oh yes, what does 'blog' mean anyway? It is an abbreviation of web log;
a few years ago, a few people started just putting their daily thoughts on
an Internet site; they called them their web log. That got shortened to 'blog'.

If so, please submit your blog to tom@fearofflying.com