POSTED ON THE MESSAGE BOARD “BEFORE AND AFTER” WITH LAST MINUTE HELP

Posted Before The Flight

I'm flying for the first time since 9/07/01. . . .

I'm very nervous but excited to see my friends. I have postponed this trip once already but set it in my mind that I am going if I like it or not. I talked to CAPT Tom today and he gave me some techniques to help and I have some Xanax to help as well. . . .

. . . I want to fly without the anxiety and I want to enjoy the excitement of going on travel and doing things and not have to worry about dealing with my symptoms -- upset stomach, butterflies, can't eat, sweaty palms, and my heart beating a million beats a minute - there are more but those are the ones that stick out in my mind at the moment! . . .

Posted After The Flight

Thank you CAPT Tom, the 5,4,3,2,1 worked like a charm. The medicine helped as well....I made my flight yesterday. The flight was very uneventful and smooth. It went very well. I was very nervous when I got to the airport and took the Xanax and started to feel better after that.

Right after I got on the plane, I told the flight attendant that I was a fearful flier and wanted to talk to the pilot. The Captain of the plane was not there but the co-pilot was and he was very understanding-I talked to him for about 10 minutes and felt much better putting a face with the person who was in control of the plane.

He reassured me that everything would be fine and that he just flew the same route earlier from Orlando to Baltimore. There was a little bit of turbulence and I used the Jell-O analogy over and over . . . .

The flight attendants with Southwest Airlines were very nice and one of them came up to me right before take off if I needed a cocktail. They would come back and check on me periodically throughout the flight.

I'm not 100% cured but I think I accomplished a major milestone. We fly back on the 27th and I'm not even stressing about it!

Thanks Capt Tom for the phone call the day prior and for having this website to help people like me with overcoming the fear of flying!

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Hi Tom,

Just wanted to let you know my trip to Chicago via Houston was better than ever expected.  I didn't believe  when I presented your letter to the check in crew that I would ever meet the captain.  What a surprise, I did on each of the flights and they were great. 

One said he would call me in the middle of the flight, however I changed seats and did not receive the call.  At the end of that flight he said he called and I didn't ans. I am really glad that I had the session with you, it helped so much.  

On the final flight of 4, the (female) captain let us know they had a problem with the flap.  I remained very calm while they checked it out.  It was determined that it was a problem that needed more attention, so we changed planes.  I was calm, and while others were grumbling, I was so pleased that this happened because it really showed me how much care they take regarding our safety.   

Usually, after getting to my destination I spend the time worrying about the flight back.  Not this time, I knew it would be fine.  Thank you so much.  I am looking forward now to going for a summer vacation that my grown kids have been wanting me to take for a long time. 



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FALSE POSITIVES OF DANGER IN REALITY TESTING

The left brain can look at statistics, and figure there is a one chance in several million of a crash.

But emotions are triggered by images in the right brain which looks - instead of at the one in several million - at THE ONE . . . the one that crashed, and by looking at that one, an emotional response is triggered.

How do we determine if something is real? If you see something, how do you know it is not a hologram? Because - not only do you see it - but you can touch it . . you can feel it.

So, to test reality, we both want to see something and feel it in some way.

When you "see" the one in several million as THE ONE (that MIGHT happen to you) and get an emotional response, you do get a feeling. If you don't recognize that the feeling came - not from a separate reality like touching something you see - but FROM THE IMAGINATION ITSELF - you get a "false positive" to your reality testing.

You get the false positive because you both "saw" a threat (in imagination) and "felt" it (though the feeling was a response to the imagination.

Now you can see that when you don't check for evidence (checking to see that the feeling is caused by physical reality rather than imagination) leads you to a "false positive."

In other words, your reality testing is faulty. You need to take time to NOT jump to conclusions (psychologists call it closure).

But if the context you assume about the world is that the world is not reasonably safe, not reasonably dependable, and that things will usually work out OK, you easily jump to conclusions that match the context you assume as basic.

In a way, you are making the same mistake people do when they look a statistics (unless they are trained in research and know the pitfalls). In research, we try - for example - a certain drug and look for a certain result. If we usually get that result, we believe the drug caused it. But maybe it was just coincidence. Just because there was a result ASSOCIATED with taking the drug, that does not prove causality.

Actually, in research, we know we never can prove causality, but only that the association between one thing we think might cause a certain result and that result happen in a high degree of cases.

Try to remember that association is NOT causality . . . at least, association does not prove causality.

So, when you picture a disaster and get a feeling, to assume that that has anything to do with reality is a mistake.

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IMMEDIATE HELP IS AVAILABLE, EVEN AT THE LAST MINUTE

Capt. Tom Bunn MSW LCSW is both an airline captain and a licensed
therapist. Call (877) 332-7359 or (203) 258-4803

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ARE YOU INTERESTED IN THE SOAR PROGRAM BUT MONEY IS HOLDING YOU BACK.

Payments can be spread out over six months with no extra fees. Contact
Lisa at (800) 332-7359 or (914) 763-9603 or email Lisa@fearofflying.com

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If so, please email me so the newsletter keeps reaching you. Please send
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MESSAGE BOARD ON FEAR OF FLYING

Got to www.fearofflying.com and click on the "message board" button.

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TO GET STARTED ON BEATING FEAR OF FLYING

To order any part of the SOAR Course or the Full Guaranteed SOAR Program,
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